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Do men have feelings?
Dating / 4:28 AM - Thursday June 17, 2010

Do men have feelings?

We ended a three year relationship and a week later he already has a new girlfriend!!

Here I am depressed and crying like never before and he's over me that quickly??

Ugh men.

- Asked by Female, 36-45

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Yes, at least this one does. I learned that when I was wearing the shoe youre wearing some time ago. I didnt ask myself if women had feelings I knew it was just the one. So not only did I have feelings I had rationality. Anyway, some people cant stand being on their own. Its why theyre quick to jump right into something or rather someone else. Take a little more stock in yourself eh. You took up time and space in his life for better or worse and theres no way youll just be forgotten, however, whatever feelings he has about the breakup he will deal with in his own way. So feel for yourself and have rationality. Whatever youre thinking or feeling, I can promise youre not going to fall apart. Peace. :)

- Response by mortaune, A Guy Critical, Male, 29-35, Student

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Yes...but we don't go around talking about them, sharing them or expressing them.. we enjoy privacy with our feelings.

What you describe is something well known that women do far more than men, since men get attached for more and deeper than women overall. That is why women are nearly always the ones to be breaking up with men and 70% of divorces are initiated by women.

If he moved on that fast he did what a lot of women do, he already had someone else on the side. I've known countless guys who had their GF or fiance break up with them and yet were engaged 2 weeks later to another guy. Many women have admitted that they will date another man on the side for months before a breakup because they don't want to be alone and to always have another man as a backup.

Sounds like he took a page out of the modern female playbook and turned it around.

On the flip side, women in general almost always go for the asshole men that don't give a crap about them, then they cling to these guys who cheat on them, abuse them, treat them mean and rude and then when he cheats or leaves, they cry on the nice guys shoulder about how he cheated again with your best friend...again..and you say "but I LOVE him!"

Sorry this happened and it sucks... but the majority of women go through this, especially at your age, then when you're in your late 30's to 40's you finally wake up and realize that these same guys are no good and then decide to go for the nice guys that really loved you when you were in your teens or 20's, but you wasted all that time chasing the asshole abusive guys that didn't give a crap about you...and what you just experienced is the end result.

Do your best to move on, and stop looking for the "macho" asshole abusive guys/alpha males and find a man that is more of a nicer guy that is truly capable of love and being in an LTR.

- Response by richsifu, A Rebel, Male, 46-55, Science / Engineering

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well i am sure this will not help your heart, but hopefully it helps you to move on

if he has a girl that quick, that means he had her lined up before you and he were at an end, not saying he cheated but for sure was talking to her for a while before the break up

now, knowing this, this makes him a bigger ass than he was, so why do you want to cry for him, he doesn't deserve your tears, he doesn't deserve your pain and suffering,

pick yourself up honey, and live life, you only get one shot at it, so live it to the fullest, and you can't live life if you are looking in the past, can't move forward if looking backwards

nothing is going to change that, he is not goign to come back, etc, and if he did i would tell him to go feck off,

i know it is hard, but you will find love again, fight, fight the hard fight, you got to put one foot in front of the other, each day, and you will make it to the top of that steep hill, and when you get up there you will like what you see around you and about yourself

keeping busy helps, ride bikes, extra job, projects, etc, do a revamp of something, do not sit around thinking about it, that is negative energy, which will only breed negative, think positive and good things will happen

as to the over you comment, guys and emotions are completely and utterly different compared to women,

aloha

- Response by beautifulloser, A Rebel, Male, 36-45, Detroit, Executive

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What a BASTARD. He's not a man. A real man wouldn't that. He is a prick.
I wish you the best of luck..

- Response by oldman52, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 56-65, Sydney, Retired

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Sorry this has happened to you ... but it looks like you're better off.

He's someone else's problem now!

Think of this as a new start .. not the end. Find someone who really respects you and your relationship!

- Response by mrscleaver16, A Married Girl, Female, 66 or older

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I do, but nobody gives a damn about them...

- Response by sentient6, A Guy Critical, Male, 29-35, Other Profession

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he found a new one quickly to help himself get over you

- Response by bigcurt, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 56-65, Pittsburgh, Self-Employed

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He is with this new girl to help get over you. He has feelings, but straight guys were never taught to process their heart break. After a break up, they flirt with girls with their guy friends and this girl he is with is a rebound situation. So I won't worry. But is trying to take his mind off this break up. So this girl will be gone before you know it. So relax. WE girls do it to as well to get over guys too. We get into rebound situations too. You take care of you. Stay busy and hang with your girlfriends and find a hobby. Take care! :)

- Response by womanv, A Career Woman, Female, 36-45, New York, Self-Employed

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I'm no shrink but after 19yrs of marriage, raising a family, and 18 more divorced and dating i've found "love" to be one of the biggest differences between men and women. Sounds odd at first, that which attracts us to each other would be what sepperates us, but "I" find its true for me. Where love is 90% emotion in women its 90% physical in men. The whole "flowers vs sex" thing.

Although I've never had a relationship where a woman wouldn't sex a man to death to catch him, its just as true that she wont to keep him. If I want to love my s/o as much and often as I like, even have her make love to me on occasion, then 2-3 years is about the max to stay together. Beyond that making love at random becomes her chore of having sex. The candy, flowers, cards, calls,,,, etc. that supported her emotion become the same chore she made of sex.

Anyway to your question, Do men have feelings? I'd have to say, Not that most women understand. We suck at being women just as bad as they suck at being men when it comes to feelings. In your case, your ex is probably being flooded with all kinds of his "love" making it more easy to move on. You, on the other hand, have been deprived of your "love".

Harder to replace what missing when its 90% emotional than it is when it starts out 90% physical.

- Response by fluff47, A Father Figure, Male, 56-65, Self-Employed

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That seems to be the general pattern with people I know. When a couple breaks up, no matter who initiates the break-up, the guy always seems to have a new g/f really quickly.

I can't speak for your realtionship specifically, because I don't know the details, but he either was seeing her before the breakup, had her in the back of his mind and used the breakup as a reason to move on her, or, like most men, can't deal with life on his own and needs a woman - any woman - to help him exist.

I'm sorry you feel bad, but in all likelyhood this is a rebound and won't last anyway.

- Response by waitinggirl22, A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?, Los Angeles

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