Back to Home

Active Questions

My sister sits on my husband lap
Married Life / 12:48 AM - Thursday June 17, 2010

my sister sits on my husband lap

my husband and i went over to my sisters house my sister hug everybody and sits on my husband lap.is she beening friendly or what?

- Asked by kaylaturkey91, A Thinker, Female, 36-45

Read more about the Rating System


I like the way your family does business

- Response by boxer1, A Guy Critical, Male, 46-55, Self-Employed

Rating Received:

Community Rating: Community Star

it is good she is comfortable with him

- Response by bigcurt, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 56-65, Pittsburgh, Self-Employed

Rating Received:


It is just the way she is, Dont make too much of it.

- Response by duggers, A Guy Critical, Male, 66 or older

Rating Received:


She is not being friendly, she is being flirtatious. Get her off your husbanf's lap and into a chair and tell her to stay off of him!

- Response by lacey07, A Life of the Party, Female, Who Cares?, Other Profession

Rating Received:


"Sister you will know
you understand
that in the far
I'll always be with you,

The men will come and go
All kinds of weather, we stick together
The same in the rain or sun
Three different faces, but in tight places
We think and we act as one

Those who've seen us
Know that not a thing could come between us
Many men have tried to split us up, but no one can

Lord, help the mister who comes between me and my sister!
AND LORD, HELP THE SISTER WHO COMES BETWEEN ME AND MY MAN!"

I'd tell her to take a step back while she still can.

- Response by jenny12, A Career Woman, Female, 46-55, Other Profession

Rating Received:


Intimidation is sometimes necessary. Your husband just needs to politely say..OHH NO don't sit on me..Or you need to ask her bluntly why she's sitting on your husbands lap right when she does it.

- Response by diglebe2, A Guy Critical, Male, 36-45, Self-Employed

Rating Received:


It's difficult to advise on her intent since we know such little information about her and your family dynamics.
Would you sit on her husband's lap? How would she feel?

I have 3 brother-in-laws. None of us sit upon another's
spouse's lap, but that is my family.

- Response by WAPenPal, Female, 46-55, Self-Employed

Rating Received:


My sis in law sits on my lap all the time it's not flirty. But if it bothers you say something.

- Response by j3s5e, A Rebel, Male, 29-35, Los Angeles, Who Cares?

Rating Received:


I can't say that it's not her being friendly but I WILL say that it is very inappropiate ,rude, and VERY disrespectful,, and you SHOULD let her know.It is not like she doesn't know because she wouldn't want you sitting on her husbands lap, friendly or otherwise so you better STOP her from sitting on your hubby's lap and a good way is to confront both of them at the same time(him from allowing it and her from doing it)because it is just as much as him showing disrespect for not confronting her himself as it is hers from doing it.
HANDLE YOUR BUISNESS!


- Response by mslifeslessons, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Self-Employed

Rating Received:


Many people like to hug others. I hug several women at work. We are all just friends. It's what some call a "church hug". Just an arm around the shoulders.

Sitting on your husbands lap sounds like it's a little over the top. You didn't say how old your sister is or if she is married. I would suggest you talk to your husband and sister both if this makes you uncomfortable.

- Response by kegofed, A Couch Potato, Male, 56-65, Who Cares?

Rating Received:


I think that any adult sitting on another adults lap is out of line. It obviously bothers you - you are posting it after all - so therefore, tell hubby not to let it happen but I'd not push it with your sister.

If it bothers you, it is wrong and your sister needs to respect it.

- Response by momto11, Female, 46-55, Home Maker

Rating Received:


well, she might be doing a little more than just sitting on his lap. and if she's not she sure would like to. this is inappropriate.

- Response by SassyMonique, A Creative, Female, 36-45, Other Profession

Rating Received:


wow...not cool...I am sure in her eyes it's very innocent, and it very well may be...but on the flipside...it's disrespectful...you need to have a talk with her, and let her know your thoughts, and if she continues you will call her out in front of everyone....even sisters don't have a pass on this....speak up and set her straight...you can be very diplomatic about things, no need to hurt her feelings, and I bet your husband "finds nothing wrong with it"....of course he wouldn't he likes the attention lol (assuming u have talked to him)....just talk to her.

- Response by lk2mvit, A Life of the Party, Female, 36-45, Other Profession

Rating Received:


Other respondents have already expressed their own judgments and I will not add mine to theirs except to say that because you mention it, it's obvious that you have a problem with it. Referring to the lap sitting, while I have not seen this kind of display of closeness between in-laws myself, it does not mean that it is strange or unusual. I think that you should be talking to your sister and not seeking out advice from strangers who have no business commenting on your sister's behavior anyway.

- Response by wiserman, A Creative, Female, 46-55, Who Cares?

Rating Received:


I think she is being disrespectful, there is no need for her to sit on his lap. You as a sister need to speak to her and your husband needs to remove her from his lap, that would embarress her.

- Response by alesibella, Female, 46-55

Rating Received:


Your sister is wrong and your husband is just as wrong.
If both of them aren't ashame of their behavior then somethin is really wrong. If my wife ever caught something like that I'd be out of her life, and that to me is more important than any other.

- Response by bryansellers, A Life of the Party, Male, 56-65, Self-Employed

Rating Received:


Your sister is wrong and your husband is just as wrong.
If both of them aren't ashame of their behavior then somethin is really wrong. If my wife ever caught something like that I'd be out of her life, and that to me is more important than any other.

- Response by bryansellers, A Life of the Party, Male, 56-65, Self-Employed

Rating Received:


Sounds like shwas beign flirty. However I have grown up with families where that would happen often (childhood friends, practically related). But it ultimately depends on the closeness of the relationship and whether or not *everyone* in the room understands the relationship. COnsidring that you are even havign to ask whether it was friendly or not makes me beleive that this isn't really the "norm", and if that's the case this is something that needs to be dealt with.

Sitting on someones lap has a certain "closeness" that is usually only shared between bestfriends (generally women, as far as I've seen) and couples. Considering that she knows he's married and that he's YOUR husband she shouldnt have sat on his lap, and he shouldnt have let her.If she enjoys sitting on someones lap then she could have very well sat on yours or someone elses in the room.

If I were you, I would pull your sister aside and tell her (gently, of course) how this makes you feel uncomfortable andask her not to do this again. And for good meausre you need to discuss this with your husband as well so that this doesn't happen again.


- Response by noelanihydrant46, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 22-25, Student

Rating Received:


I would use a sense of humor.. Get your fat ass and grabby hands off my husband
and tell your husband to push her to the damn ground man..
It is just a boundary.. then pull her aside not on that day and say hey
It is hard enough to be married without you sitting on his lap and being overly friendly and
that family is so important to you and you just had to be honest that she was offending you.
Tell her you want to be close but not like that.. Do it now.

- Response by nbtt, A Sportif, Female, 36-45, Body Work

Rating Received:


Why is your sister sitting on your hubby's lap? Better yet, why is your hubby letting her? Would your hubby let you sit on his brother's lap? If he has one, try it one time, (let his brother know in advance) that your trying to prove a point. Before she plops down in his lap, get there first. Keep an eyeball on them. Let me know what happens, at xxxxxxxxxx. My name is Cat

- Response by cattaz101, A Married Girl, Female, 56-65, Home Maker

Rating Received:


Check her ass. That shit is disrespectful. He belongs to You.

- Response by blakrose08, A Thinker, Female, 22-25, Who Cares?

Rating Received:


Unless your sister is 10, this is not okay or just being friendly. So its more the "or what". Hugs are okay for everyone but she only sat on your husband's lap. There might be some sibling rivalry going on. Especially if your guy is cute and hers isn't. Next time go over and tell her to get the hell off your hubby's lap before you smack her right in the kisser!

- Response by cinders717, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

Rating Received:


Oh my lord. I don't know how your family rolls with things there. But I clearly think what your sister did was highly inappropriate. It was equally inappropriate for your husband to allow her to sit in his lap period. That is rather intimate territory for any one. And to have someone that is not married to said person, park their behind in his lap is just not right. Most especially when that person is his sister-in-law. I think you need to talk to the both of them and nip this sort of thing in the bud right away.

- Response by CursedRomantic, A Thinker, Female, 26-28, Columbus, Student

Rating Received:


Who would know your sister better than you.?

- Response by duggers, A Guy Critical, Male, 66 or older

Rating Received:


ahh.. If i were u i would kick her ass and ask her to place it else where and also tell my husband to learn 2 say no.. rather than me seeing all DAT and feeling disgusted..

- Response by ange1187, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 26-28

Rating Received:


I do that with male friends who I'm comfortable enough with, and to me, it doesn't really mean anything other than a bit of harmless flirtation. But he's YOUR husband, and you have a right to express your discomfort with it...to both your sister and your husband. If my guy friends, their girlfriends, or my s/o expressed any concerns/discomfort, I know that I would stop immediately. I'm sure your sister will do the same if you mention it to her.

- Response by steff81, A Hippie Chick, Female, 29-35, Teaching

Rating Received:


You should be able to judge the way she does it!! Ask your husband if he's comfortable with it.

- Response by hands, A Creative, Male, 46-55, Hong Kong, Who Cares?

Rating Received:


Inappropriate and disrespectful.

- Response by king313, An Engaged Guy, Male, 29-35, Detroit, Civil Service

Rating Received:


I think sitting falls under the auspices of being friendly. Now, if she starts bouncing up and down, then I'd have a problem heh heh.

- Response by doctorphil, A Guy Critical, Male, 56-65, Los Angeles, Celebrity

Rating Received:


if you have to ask then you already have the answer to that i would address with her asap!

- Response by unbreakablesilence, A Married Girl, Female, 29-35, Medical / Dental

Rating Received:


It is very hard to say why she would be doing this but I would imagine that she is being flirtatious with your husband and probably has a crush on him...if you don't like it, then let her know that you don't mind her hugging him but you would appreciate it if she didn't sit on his lap because it's disrespectful to your marriage and to your husband because he may not like it but doesn't want to hurt her feelings by telling her to stop doing it...:)

- Response by fastball, A Cool Mom, Female, 36-45, Edmonton, Self-Employed

Rating Received:


It sounds innapropriate to me. He is supposed to be her brother in law...well I wouldn't sit in my brother's lap much less my B-I-L. I would say something to her.

- Response by misskitty420, A Cool Mom, Female, 29-35, Student

Rating Received:


Hugging is perfect acceptable...but as for sitting on his lap? Uh, I'd put an end to that asap. That's not right...

- Response by ranchycowgirl, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 26-28

Rating Received:


There is comfortable and then there is the line. She has crossed it. There is no reason she should be sitting on his lap. That is sooooo disrespectful. I don't care who you are. There is no reason any girl should be sitting on ur husbands lap. There need to be boundaries. Make them clear.

- Response by denchi20, A Thinker, Female, 26-28, Medical / Dental

Rating Received:


Tell her to cut that shit out. The husband should not even allow it to begin with. She's being more than friendly even if her intention isn't to be. In any case, beyond being sisters and brothers, mother and fathers, at the end of the day we're walking this path of life with an agenda all our own, we're men and women, responsible for our own feelings and actions and so there are lines are constantly drawn in the sand and lines are constantly being crossed which is why I say again, tell her to cut that shit out.

- Response by mortaune, A Guy Critical, Male, 29-35, Student

Rating Received:


she's being "or what". That's not "friendly", that's coquettish, flirty and could even be a direct play for his affections.

Tell her to cut it out before everything gets out of hand.

- Response by tellmenolies, A Life of the Party, Female, 46-55, Who Cares?

Rating Received: