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I know he's not right for me, yet I can't let go. Why?
Dating / 8:44 AM - Tuesday June 15, 2010

I know he's not right for me, yet I can't let go. Why?

My boyfriend & I always seem like we're on opposite wavelengths. Our communication is out of sync, our humors greatly differ. It's gotten to a point where when we are on the phone, it's more silent than anything. I say things about my life, my day, whatever & he either doesn't know what to say or says something very general. Doesn't ask too many questions to keep the conversation rolling along & it makes me feel like he has no genuine interest, which then closes me off to even opening up.

I get the gut feeling that he is not the one & that it will never work between us, but I try to hold onto something positive. When it's come down to us talking about, or almost, breaking up, I can't seem to let it happen. How is it that I know we're not right for each other & I've made my peace within myself on that, yet when it comes time that one of us is talking about breaking up, I get all upset & won't let go & start suggesting second chances???

Update: June 16, 2010.
Truth be told, we're always so busy being distant from each other & arguing that we haven't had sex since New Year's Eve 2009. It used to be amazing. I don't know what I'm holding onto anymore. He seriously frustrates me. He broke up with me last night, saying bullshit about how he can't take how tense we are anymore, regardless of the fact that he's been causing the tension. Then he asks if we can be together & rewind time back 2-3wks ago when this tension began. I say ok, yet he doesn't want to jump into a relationship. He says he doesn't want to go back & forth. And I told him that if he didn't want to go "back & forth" he never should've broken up with me & then ask to be together again. Now he's saying that he didn't ask that. I am getting so tired of the way he talks. He's always so abrupt. Not that he's saying anything bad, or mean spirited, but it's the manner & timing in which he says it & he just doesn't seem to get it when I try to explain it. He did it to me this morning. We were having a conversation & he basically cut it short by saying, "I hope you have a nice day." Sure, what he said wasn't mean or anything but it was out of the blue when we were not finished our talk. And when I told him about it, he says he wasn't abrupt & he was running late for work & had to go. Ok, so tell me that! WTF!

- Asked by irishize, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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I'm guessing it's either because you don't want to be alone, or you're somewhat of a perfectionist who can't admit that this isn't "fixable".

From what you've said, it's pretty clear that your relationship is ending whether you want it to or not. It's just a matter of who's going to be the one saying the words.

Think of it this way: the longer you continue to waste your time with the wrong man, the longer it will take for you to finally find the right one.

- Response by piscesrising, A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?, Boston, Internet / New Media

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Community Rating: Community Star

it's insecurity talking - you need to regain your confidence and face new things without fear.

he sounds like he is not interested in you and doesn't appreciate you but someone else will and you'll 'get' one another which is what you need in a relashionship

good luck for your great future!

- Response by rubyrednotdead, A Creative, Female, 29-35, Who Cares?

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This is a classic case of someone hoping that "THINGS WILL CHANGE". You can lie to anyone but yourself.

This relationship sounds painfully beyond its life span. No need to keep trying to put pieces together that won't fit.

Hopesully you wake up out of this slump and handle ya business...

- Response by king313, A Rebel, Male, 29-35, Detroit, Civil Service

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in most relationships, one needs to have some commonalities with the opposite sex, but not always.
if you do not have good communication...either try to work on it or let him go.


- Response by amandasboy, A Father Figure, Male, Who Cares?, Other Profession

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I can bet any money that even though the convo is not there..... the sex is f-ing incredible. Isnt it? lol.

Thats whats really holding you

- Response by thicallover, A Career Woman, Female, 29-35, New York, Administrative

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