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How long should I wait to hear "I love you" ( It's been 18 months)
Dating / 10:23 PM - Sunday June 13, 2010

How long should I wait to hear "I love you" ( It's been 18 months)

He is afraid to trust his heart to anyone since his marriage broke up 8 years ago. Do I stay in the relationship hoping he can trust someday...Or is it hopeless?

- Asked by Female, 56-65

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Eight years? I'm sorry, I don't buy this explanation. It sounds to me like he's just continuing to use the sorry excuse he first trotted out earlier in your relationship because you've been letting him get away with it.

And if he really does have these issues still, eight years later, and he's not seeking counseling or other help to deal with the situation, I'd say he has no interest in solving this problem.

- Response by mikehug, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, Cleveland

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Community Rating: Community Star

18 months? tell him to stop being such a little girl,no offense.

- Response by headscratching, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 46-55, Science / Engineering

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I would have ended it 8 months ago. I would not stay in a relationship with someone who is damaged. I'm sorry, but I would end it.


- Response by myndseye711, A Cool Mom, Female, 29-35

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Some people heal from past hurts...some don't.

It hinges on whether they really want to or not.

Your guy...seems to want to wallow in his sorrow. That can't be a happy place for you...ijs.

- Response by mamom04, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 56-65, Phoenix

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I think you need validation that he does "love" you... but are you looking for him to say he loves you or that you finallu know if he is "IN LOVE" with you...? Obviously 2 very different things...

But there is no time limit to express your love... I think the main thing you should think about is: does he SHOW you that he loves you?

- Response by thefemalemind, An Alternative Girl, Female, 29-35, Los Angeles

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Men are not the great verbal communicators that women are. And it's not as important to men to verbalize their feelings. So cut your man a little slack. Plus he may just be embarrassed. And his divorce did not help things any. You and this guy may be destined to be together, or not. But don't judge the guy on something he hasn't said to you... yet.

- Response by betterbird, A Creative, Male, 46-55, San Francisco, Administrative

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If he can't say it after 18 months, he never will.

- Response by chessplayer, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 36-45, Administrative

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after 18 months it is not likely to change

- Response by bigcurt, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 56-65, Pittsburgh, Self-Employed

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just dumped my bf of 10 months with one of the major reasons being, he could say that he loved me (aka. he didn't love me and never will). ps. He's 32 and you'd think the older they get the more emotionally mature they get.... so not true.

- Response by francesca128, A Sportif, Female, 26-28, Student

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You can't stay in a relationship with a man who refuses to tell you he loves you. Does he expect intimacy and all the privileges that go along with a real relationship? If so you deserve the "I love you" that you are longing to hear. Let him know that you need a man who can commit to you completely and isn't afraid to voice those emotions in an "I love you". Don't grow old waiting and waiting for something that is not going to happen. You deserve better. Good Luck ;)

- Response by cinders717, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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Life is too short to stay in a relationship with a man who can't tell you he loves you! To be loved is not asking too much from a man you have been together with that long. Cut him loose and free yourself up to meet someone who is able to love you. We all deserve to love and be loved in return. Good luck to you!

- Response by majicou, A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?

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