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Active Questions

If you are married do you think it is okay to call or be texting someone that is not your spouse.
Married Life / 6:48 PM - Sunday June 13, 2010

If you are married do you think it is okay to call or be texting someone that is not your spouse.

Even if you say the person is just a friend does it make it alright to be talking or texting this person.

- Asked by Female, 46-55

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Absolutely. I text my very married male best friend all the time. I was there long before his wife. I love her too and she and I hang out a bit too. However, he and I have known each other since we were teens, have always adored one another and have never been anything more than just pals.

- Response by renoirgirl, A Creative, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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He'll yes it's ok. You have to be in a healthy relationship. With out
insecurity and with trust.

- Response by j3s5e, A Rebel, Male, 29-35, Who Cares?

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If you are married then that doesn't mean you are not allowed to have friends.

- Response by psychoticbabe1, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Other Profession

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If we are discussing the state of the world or anything that is not threatening to a HEALTHY relationship... Then no..

- Response by siouxzen, A Career Woman, Female, Who Cares?, Los Angeles, Self-Employed

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sure! friends are just that friends.but if you dont trust your spouse you have a much bigger problem.

- Response by unbreakablesilence, A Married Girl, Female, 29-35, Student

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If there is trust in the marriage partnership I can't possibly believe that there is any good reason why a spouse would think it wrong that their partner is talking or texting anyone that they wish to or that it should be the business of the other spouse that they do!

- Response by wiserman, A Creative, Female, 56-65, Who Cares?

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I don't have a problem with old friends of the opposite sex. I think I would have a problem with "new" friends though. It's all good to be friendly & go out in group settings, but if they are getting so chummy they are calling each other I would be questioning it. If they are calling my S/O, they had better have a reason(like asking a question or relaying info.) Not just about how their day is & what are you doing later type crap. He doesn't want no strange guys calling me either.

It's being respectful to your loyalty. Old friends are established, new ones have to grow... into what nobody can tell until it's too late. You can't control feelings, they just happen. A line has to be drawn somewhere in even the healthiest of relationships. A smidgen of jealousy can be a good thing in any healthy relationship because it lets you know to appreciate what you've got. Everything in moderation. I trust my partner to have his chosen friends, but out of respect toward me I don't want his friends inviting drama into our lives.

- Response by A Thinker, Female, 36-45

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If you do it openly and your spouse knows about it, and probably knows the person as well, then it shouldn't be a problem.

If you have to hide it, then it WILL be a problem.

- Response by chessplayer, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 36-45, Administrative

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Yes........... when did it become the Standard that Married people not have friends

- Response by boxer1, A Guy Critical, Male, 46-55, Self-Employed

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yes as married people are not prisoner s

- Response by bigcurt, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 56-65, Pittsburgh, Self-Employed

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Funny you should ask this question! I just found out a little over a week ago that my husband's been talking to this girl and texting her for over two months, but they both kept it a secret from me. I found out cuz I happened to see his phone one night and she was calling. I answered, she said nothing and then hung up. The bitch refused to answer my calls & I left her a couple voicemails, saying HE IS MY HUSBAND! I then was so pissed off that I called the police on her & then called her back to leave her a message that I filed a harassment report on her ass. Just a few days before, I saw a text from this girl on my husband's phone & he said he didn't know the number & for me to call it. She called me back & I told her the story & asked if she knew my husband. She said no, and apologized like four times for causing so much trouble & said the text was sent to my husband's phone accidently. But then there was a "private" call also. Accident, my ass! This bitch is illegal so I'm sure it's scared the hell outta her! My husband claims she was just a friend, that he needed someone to confide in and to listen to him cuz we always fight and argue, we rarely have a good day without arguing. He promises he never slept with her. And he even told the bitch to lie, if I find her number & call it! My husband claims they haven't talked, she hasn't called or texted since I called the police on her. But I no longer trust him, so I'm going to check the next cell phone bill! This was also how I found out how they've been talking; her number on the bill several times. My husband said he kept it a secret cuz I'm so jealous & that I'd never accept him having a female friend. I said it doesn't matter, he should've been honest in the BEGINNING, if they really were friends! Them keeping it a secret made them both look guilty, made it look like more than a friendship.

Sorry my answer was so long, but I had to share my story. I think it's ok if married people talk and text someone else, AS LONG as they're honest & upfront about it. I've had a guy friend or two in the past, but I made sure to tell my husband about it & let him see the number, texts, and all that.

- Response by ndngirlntx, Female, 36-45, Student

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- Response by shelea55, Female, 56-65, Self-Employed

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you make your own rules- some women want their man to be in a position that they would be eating dog food if their woman divorced them. so the threat of a divorce is enough to make him 'behave'. not saying this is you though,

- Response by A Career Man, Male, 46-55, New York, Who Cares?

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Absolutely, if the context is not flirtatious or there is an affair attached with these text. I have several male friends that I text all the time and my spouse is aware of it and because it's only about friendship, world topics type of conversation. I've had male friends before I got married and still have them.

- Response by jdn123, A Creative, Female, 36-45, Miami, Artist / Musician / Writer

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of course it's all right. both me and my husband have many friends of the opposite sex that we call/text with.

- Response by js800, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Chicago, Student

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If you are married, you should never ever talk or text anyone else but your spouse ever again. :-|

- Response by myndseye711, A Cool Mom, Female, 29-35, Managerial

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unless you have romantic intentions, it's the same as talking to someone at work - no biggie

- Response by ruffian, A Sportif, Female, 36-45

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As ong as you are honest about it. My husband has been texting an old friend off FB but I knew nothing about it until I saw a message pop up on his phone when he was still asleep. It only roused suspision but if he had told me to begin with then I would have been fine about it. I worry he is flirting with her too as he is that kind of person. But never flirts with me now we are married with a baby, so yes it is part jealousy too!

- Response by A Married Girl, Female, 36-45, London, Transportation

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