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Why would he tell me he likes me, then ignore me?
Sex & Intimacy / 2:40 PM - Saturday June 12, 2010

why would he tell me he likes me, then ignore me?

JUST TO CLARIFY: im not looking to get into a relationship, i just want to know why this whole thing has to be so complicated.

heres the situation: john and i both recently broke up from our relationships, mine was almost 2 years, his was 3-4 on and off. i figured it was all about the sex, and i was fine with that since im still not over my ex. he has this habit of treating me like his girlfriend when were together. and not just us two alone, even when were out with friends/coworkers. hes acting cutesy, coming up behind me to hug me, kissing me randomly, picking me up so im sitting on his lap, getting me shorts so "i can be comfortable" when were bumming, tickling me, etc.. he also keeps telling me that he likes me and tells me that im just using him for sex. even at work [we work together] he flirts with me. but when were not together, he barely returns my texts and im clearly not a priority. i told him he doesnt have to sweettalk me, were both getting what we want. he just responds by telling me he really likes me.

whats his deal? why does he feel the need to tell me he likes me when were together, but once were apart i dont exist?

also, i want everyone to realize: im looking for a no strings attached kind of thing. im still not over my ex and this guy is just great to look at and the sex is fun. and what better way to get over someone by getting under someone else? i just dont understand why he feels the need to sweet talk me and tell me he likes me, then ignore me if hes with his boys, if i tell him thats not what im looking for.

- Asked by julieintheskyywithdiamonds, An Alternative Girl, Female, 26-28, New York, Who Cares?

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I think your problem is not with the fact you want no strings sex, the fact is that he wants more than just sex. If it wasn't that then he wouldn't tell you he liked you or act like your boyfriend out in public.

- Response by psychoticbabe1, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Other Profession

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best thing is to sit his little butt down and find out from the horses mouth.
he has all the right answers

- Response by amandasboy, A Father Figure, Male, 66 or older, Atlanta, Retired

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I don't understand. You seem to enjoy the sweet talk, flirting and playing, as well as the sex, yes? Your complaint seems to be that when you're not together then he's not demonstrating that HE wants more? That is, he doesn't answer texts, and ... well, that's all you gave us: "he doesn't answer texts".

It seems like YOU want more. If so, you should probably take the time away from him to heal and get over your ex -- or talk it over with the new guy and tell him what you DO want.

I don't see the problem: "fails to return texts" is a pretty low-order crime in my book. That is, if they're not texts of an emergency nature or plan for "where should we eat tonight" or something.

- Response by regnadkcin, A Father Figure, Male, 56-65, Boston, Artist / Musician / Writer

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You're his boy toy. He plays with you at his convenience. The "no strings" is exactly him not being attached enough to care if you feel ignored. I don't necessarily believe the best way to get over someone is by getting under someone else. How's that working for you? Time & focusing on making yourself happy apart from your ex is really the only way you'll finally let go of your ex. Just enjoy his sweet attention when you get it, after all that is what you are saying you only expect.

- Response by A Thinker, Female, 29-35

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