Thank you for your many years of support. We want to share the news with you that after much consideration, will cease operations in its present format on October 15th. We appreciate your meaningful contributions over the years.
Back to Home

Active Questions

Why do so many women go after bad boys and overlook the nice guys
Dating / 3:01 PM - Friday June 11, 2010

Why do so many women go after bad boys and overlook the nice guys

Why do I keep reading horror stories about convicts in prison and on parole for violent crimes with women throwing themselves at their feet? I'm always hearing females say they want men who treats them well, yet everywhere I look I see the exact opposite. They go after guys that beat them up and bring them down. I'm starting to believe the old adage "Nice guys finish last?" I'm a clean-cut Mama's boy with no baggage, yet I haven't been in a serious relationship for six years now. Do these women honestly think the bad boy will come rescue them from despair before they ride into the sunset in his muscle care with the convertible top down? Has it ever occurred to any of them how selfish he is; that he's probably telling other women the same thing; or that 99-percent of time he's a coward? I used to assume any female with enough brain cells to drive a car, operate a cellphone, tie her shoelaces, hold a fork to her mouth, and brush her teeth would know this, but now I'm not so sure. Often, I end up attracting the damaged goods who learned the hard way "bad boy" isn't an oxymoron. Either that, or they have kids and they're looking for a meal ticket. The rest just split after I disclose I have Asperger's Syndrome. Just because I don't drive a Harley, have enough tattoos to form a mural, or enough body piercings to activate the metal detector doesn't mean I don't know how to defend myself or provide for someone. Nevertheless, I'm not that desperate for a relationship, either. Can somebody explain to me all this?

- Asked by daugenstine, A Career Man, Male, 36-45, Teaching

Read more about the Rating System

Losers will stick with Losers, and that is Fact.

- Response by A Guy Critical, Male, 56-65

Rating Received:

The OTHER side of that coin:

The women who DO NOT go for "bad boys?"

Are usually (not always, but USUALLY) not very pretty, not at all attractive (to you), or somewhat (or extremely) overweight.

Can't have it all.

You want a skinny, curvy, beautiful modelesque beauty with the soul of a goddess who will see the real you and love you to pieces.

NOBODY looks at the plain little thing over there in the corner who thinks bad boys are idiots and stupid and longs for just ONE GUY to pay attention to her. And NOT JUST TO GET TO HER PRETTY SISTER/FRIEND/COUSIN/RO OMATE either.....

All you men talk about wanting a good woman who will see you for who you are, but you all - to a MAN - go after the beauty queen with baggage and IGNORE the real woman standing right over there - to the left - no, not her, HER, the one in the ill-fitting dress who looks like she don't belong here.....

sad but true.

The REASON all the women you want want BAD BOYS is that you are attracted soley to women who only LIKE bad boys. You think, like most girls, that "my love will change her, if only she'd give me a shot."

AND - you figure you DESERVE somebody beautiful and talented and desireable. So you ignore the not-so-pretty/downright FUGLY girl over (there) who could very well, given the chance, be your soulmate.

Ick. An ugly/fat girl. No thanks. I want *HER*

sorry. she wants the biker dude standing BEHIND you.

- Response by hnygrl, A Career Woman, Female, 46-55, Managerial

Rating Received:

Community Rating: Community Star

much more women today seem to be attracted to the LOSER type of guys, why is that? that shows you how STUPID women can be going after the guys that are so ABUSIVE to them, and treat them ROTTEN. but then again, GARBAGE ATTRACTS GARBAGE.

- Response by A Guy Critical, Male, 56-65

Rating Received:

Yes, I can explain it. Go to no more mr nice guy dot com and find out for yourself why nice guys finish last.

Nice guys whine and puke all over women. They despise alpha males and work hard to be "different" from most other men. When in fact they are just different versions. Do nice guys not want sex as much as any other man?

Women, in general, prefer strong, healthy athletic, intelligent, competitive, and decicive men. The more edgy the guy is, the more women realize he will stick up for her and her/their children.

Unfortunately, too many alpha males are also assh*les, so a woman cannot tell the difference until it's too late.

Man up and stop whining. How has that worked for you so far?

- Response by kopfjaeger, A Career Man, Male, 46-55

Rating Received:

Women like fixer-upers. They only go after them for the thrill then try to change them, then when they cant, they find new reasons to try harder. They eventully realise that bad boys are a lost cause and that they are not going to be their knight in shining armor.

- Response by mistypeaks, A Hippie Chick, Female, 26-28, Edmonton, Body Work

Rating Received:

Nomoremrniceguy(dot)com , and the book No More Mr Nice Guy! are the best places to start finding answers, but you don't seem to agree. That's too bad.
The internet is awash these days with pickup artists and dating guru programs, all designed to banish your inner Nice Guy, and teach you to be-- NOT a Jerk/Bad Boy/Outlaw Biker-- but a genuine "Integrated Male", or "IM" for short. Say it like I AM.

- Response by chesterdad, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 66 or older, San Francisco

Rating Received:

The women you speak of normally suffer from low self esteem and other various stupid ass issues. I personally prefer clean cut men, with jobs, goals, and a future. I think having a retirment plan is SEXXXY!!!! Thats cuz I have my sh*t together.
My own rule of thumb is if a guy keeps saying he has had crap g/f in the past, I tend to NOT date him as normally it is YOU that continues to make poor dating decisions.
As for single moms, I dont know any that are willing to put up with a crappy man just for some bill money, so I would chill on that assumption.
Basically sweetie, it is YOU that continues to go after unavailable women, are you the type that like the obvious fake blondes, the party girl types with the tramp stamps?
Or it could be your not as nice of a guy as you assume that you are, how would you know? When's the last time you were your own girlfriend? Just food for thought.

- Response by misssparkle, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Atlanta, Administrative

Rating Received:

i bought my ex No more mr Nice Guy.

we was like a doting grandmother. so after a while, i obviously didn't want to have sex w/him.

- Response by isotope, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Science / Engineering

Rating Received: