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WTF is up with men thinking a woman is getting "used and abused" when she is having sex with a man
Sex & Intimacy / 5:56 PM - Tuesday June 08, 2010

WTF is up with men thinking a woman is getting "used and abused" when she is having sex with a man

ATTENTION UPTIGHT MEN!!! I just read an answer to a point where a lady was thinking about a threesome with two guys (Cool) One of the men answered some horseshit about she's gonna get used and abused. That crap makes me so ANGRY. You cannot use and abuse a willing participant!!! Being used and abused is when a guy acts like he likes you then quits talking to you after you have sex...or an extreme like rape. When three people decide to get together and have sex, its not USE or at least not the way some men make it sound. If he's using her, she's using him...to get off. I am not being used when I am in a sex relationship with a man, unless they are not being honest about not wanting a relationship or something. Handsomefromdetroit or whatever the frig his name is, and you close-minded old-fashioned meanies need to wake up. WOMEN CAN HAVE SEX AND ONLY SEX WITHOUT BEING USED!!!!

Update: June 09, 2010.
Some of you were confused about what post I was talking about. This girl was talking about her best guy friend and his friend and her getting together. She didnt say anything about feeling used or wondering why he would want that, just that she was nervous. Someone else brought the stupid "you are being used" into it. I was just saying that if you know what everyones intentions are and your okay with it, YOU ARE NOT BEING USED. its obviously concentual sex. And for the woman who said women should have sex outside of marriage or even masturbate, go back to church honey, you are on the wrong site

- Asked by dahlia22, A Creative, Female, 36-45, Other Profession

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The majority of men around here are SO full of shit! Since the beginning of time they couldn't have cared less about women geting used and abused as long as it benefited them in some way so we're supposed to believe the issue of threesomes is different? LOL

The real problem is that they are threatened by women who take control over their sexuality and actually enjoy having sex. A lot of men see sex as something women should just shut up and do like any other chore. God forbid we explore our wants and desires without fear of being persecuted, huh?

- Response by houseworkmakesyaugly, A Married Girl, Female, 36-45

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B---R---A---V---O !!!!!!!

give 'em hell, dahlia!

- Response by two469, An Alternative Girl, Female, 18-21, Seattle, Science / Engineering

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I completely agree !!! I would also add to the same category, the women that slam strippers and say how it "degrades" them and all women. Total BS !! The same applies here, when done by choice its the men that are being taken advantage of [usually by choice also] for their money.



- Response by singledad281, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, Houston, Hospitality

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I so agree with you on this. Why is it ok for men to do damn near everything and they're called "stud" or something similar and when I want to get laid and do something about it, out come all the derogatory remarks.



- Response by rayannem86, A Hippie Chick, Female, 29-35, Hospitality

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Could he mean some times when you are doing things to try to please some one you wind up feeling used and abused.Like if it is something you normaly wouldn't do but your doing it for them.

- Response by frenchkiss49, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Tampa, Who Cares?

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amen to that!
im finding everyday more and more "old-fashioned" thinkers are coming out of the woodworks and just need to start shit up on here...i just have to ask why?

shes allowed to have sex with 2 guys and not feel used. If she's on board for it and wants it how is she being used and abused?

- Response by mistypeaks, A Hippie Chick, Female, 22-25, Edmonton, Body Work

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I would find two women with their attention focused on me as hot so I can see why a woman would think the same thing about two men.

That said I think the bf's value of his gf if he's willing to share her *could* be a valid point.

- Response by newnumbersguy32, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 36-45, Financial / Banking

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My answer stands. The woman didn't think she wanted to do it, (or gave that impression that it wasn't HER idea), she was doing it "for him". It will come back and bite her in the butt. There IS still a LOT of women that will have sex with two guys, and be labeled because of it. Double standards reign supreme.

- Response by roaminginsomniac, An Alternative Girl, Female, 46-55, Law Enforcement

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Hear hear!

- Response by stoney07, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 66 or older, Who Cares?

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Right you are. I have no idea where that crap came from. Sex only works when both men and women are giving as much as they get, and getting as much as they give. He uses her, She uses him, it works out well for both.

- Response by greenwind, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 56-65, Construction

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a woman can consent and truly enjoy something and still be used and abused.

My wife wanted to try a two guy threesome and I reluctantly agreed. So we were in a hotel room, I was in boxer shorts and she was in this incredible lingerie and heels. We were sitting on the end of the bed kissing and she told me how much she loved me and sppreciated me doing this and that after tonight she was going to make love to me every night until we made a baby.

The other guy arrived and he was nice and respectful and in just a few moments my wife was sorking her way around trying to suck on his considerably larger dick while I started to go at her doggy style. After maybe 10 minutes of watching her lick and slurp and struggle with this big thing, the guy asked if it was a bit much for her, in a very lustful voice my wife said it was fucking huge and didn't know if she was going to be able to take something so big. Embaressingly I came at that moment. Right after that I eased back and sat down on a chair and started to remove the condom I had on.

That's when this other guy got really rough and hard with my wife. One second she's screaming it's too big and the next for him not to stop, she's screaming it hurts too much and the next for him to fuck her harder. The guy went nonstop hard and rough for over two hours before he finally came. My wife had her legs wrapped around him and her arms holding his body in tight against her as he did, saying how much her pussy (I had never before heard her use that word) hurt and how she'd never been fucked so good.

He pulled out and pulled my wife up to suck him and he asked if she liked the taste of his cum and her pussy on his cock. That's when I realized he hadn't worn a condom. My wife just moaned and sucked. Then he turned her over and got on top of her. She said she thought she was going to be too sore and he just laughed and pushed it all the way in hard and fast. She screamed and I jumped up saying hwat the hell. I didn't expect his backhand and it knocked me over more from surprise then the actual force of his blow, But by the time I was back on my feet he was pounding hard and fast and she was screaming that she was going to cum.

What we thought was going to be an hour long evening, turned into several two hour sessions ging trough mid afternoon the next day. Each time my wife protesting more and more about how sore she was and each time he seemed to get rougher and she was begging him for more.

After that night it was more then two weeks before we tried to make that baby she wanted, no amount of lube mattered she was too sore for me to rub her clit or give her oral let alone make love. Even after that I was using condoms because we were waiting on std results since after the first time he came inside of her she figured the harm was done and wanted him to cum inside fo her each time afterwards.

She said she might have asked him not to stop and she might have enjoyed it but she had never in her life felt so dirty and filthy and used. And he body had certainly been abused.

- Response by A Mr. Married Guy, Male, 36-45, Self-Employed

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Ya know... there are an aweful lot of women on here daily talking about how some asshole guy used them... for your opinion to be completly true. Sure, a woman can have emotionless sex, just like a man. But, that is not to say a guy can not play on a womans feelings for him to use her for what he wants and then leave her. The girl in that post, also indicated that she felt she might be getting used by her boyfriend as a sexual object... are you pissed at her as well?

You really need to get the sand out of your vagina... it effects your thinking...

- Response by eequalsmcsquared, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 29-35, Medical / Dental

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No. The only time a woman should ever have sex is when she is in a serious long term relationship with a man. If she is not with a man, she is not sexual. Period. That means no masturbation either, otherwise she is abusing herself.

- Response by terhunsa, A Father Figure, Male, 36-45, Tampa, Hospitality

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