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1 month at new job and nobody talks to me!
Career / 8:58 PM - Sunday June 06, 2010

1 month at new job and nobody talks to me!

Tomorrow will be one month since I started at my new job and still 4 out of the 5 other people who sit in my section have yet to say one word to me. They never even introduced themselves to me. The 2nd day there I almost ran right into the girl coming around a hallway corner who sits directly behind me. I said "oh I'm sorry, excuse me" to her and all she did is look at me with almost a dirty look and not say a word. The one girl who has talked to me seems a little stand-offish to me now. She was gone on vacation all last week. When she comes in do I dare ask how it was only to basically get a one line response?? Then I guarantee you when someone else comes over to ask her she'll go on for 15 minutes about how great it was. Even when I do try to be friendly or funny all I get is a weird look like "I barely know you, why are you trying to be my friend"? Then the people who are in my dept. are all on the other side of the partition so I feel alienated from them and the only conversations we seem to have are with the office IM system. When you have a question that seems to be the way to address it, even though if I stood up and looked over the partition I could just as well ask them. I almost hope to run into someone coming out of the bathroom, if only for them to say excuse me to me so I have some interaction with people! If anyone else in my section sneezes there's always someone who says "bless you". When I sneeze, nobody says a word. That same girl who I practically ran into in the hallway brought cupcakes for everyone else in our section and she totally bypassed me and didn't even ask. Okay maybe you brought them for your dept. but I sit there too and it made me feel like crap.

I almost wonder if it's because I'm a contractor and only there for a year that people treat me this way? I mean there are so many meetings that my dept goes too yet I have no idea what they are about. I can go for 2-3 days without my supervisor ever saying a word to me other than IMing me even though if I stood up and looked over on the other side of my cubicle I could talk to him. I have no idea if the work I do in a week is too little or if I'm really cutting through the work quickly. I get no feedback about anything! I feel as if I am just a body filling up a chair doing work until the next contractor comes in to take my place. I've gone from working in a company of about 30 people where everyone was nice to each other, to working from home and am now working with a company of 1500. I don't know if it's the big company mentality or is I am just coming across as some weirdo because I'm kind of shy and feel very awkward.

Tomorrow a new contractor is supposed to start with the dept I sit with and then later in the week another contractor in my dept. is starting. I am very interested to see how they get treated. And if people are interacting with them and making them feel welcome then I will know that they all think something is wrong with me.

- Asked by Female, 36-45

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I undertand. I remember when i got my first job traight fom college it took up to 1 year for people to warm up to me, and when when we were comfortable to joke and talk openly, they told me what they thought of me. I did not take the omments seriously, we actually have a good laugh about it because we had become friends. Humans have a tendency to be judgemental.

I hope there would be a breakthrough of hopitaly soon. Hang in there if you can. If the money is good why not and your motto should be "I will be out of there in no time!". It is not your fault, you have given a good decription of your attempts to fit in.

- Response by bbperfume, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Retail

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Sounds like you work with some very rude people. I make people talk to me because I never stop talking, but then I am very outgoing. Be the first to speak to these new contractors. Befriend them before anyone has a chance. It sounds like this office has a clique thats hard to get into. You never know, they could be this way to everyone for the first month or so. But really, you dont need their friendship. They sound like snots!!! Maybe you could bring some cupcakes and give them out one day. Just try to be friendly to them regardless of them being friendly to you. Good luck!

- Response by dahlia22, A Creative, Female, 36-45, Other Profession

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An office of cold people.How sad.I don't know why people act like that.

- Response by frenchkiss49, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Tampa, Who Cares?

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I was in a similar situation. I started working in my current position in Sept 2008. We officed in an Executive Suites floor so there were lots of people around that worked for different companies. It took about 5 or 6 months for people to talk to me. Not in our own company but all the others I would run into in the break room or walking down the halls. Sometimes I would say "good morning" and I would get looks like "WHAT? SOMEONE DARES TO TALK?". After about 6 months this one guy came up to me and said "That's the friendly girl that always says good morning!".

Move the story along....now almost 2 years later I have made many friends on the floor...some I see outside of the work environment. It just takes time...but you are right...it IS weird.

- Response by scooper, A Sportif, Female, 46-55, Dallas, Who Cares?

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You might be onto something about your being contracted from the outside, especially if it is a unionized company....you are a huge threat in a unionized company. It will be interesting to see what happens when other outside people are incorporated into the situation.

Don't worry about it overly much. Just be a ray of sunshine whenever you can and realized being surly is the problem of the surly person...not yours.

- Response by jkkatie, Female, 46-55, Buffalo

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I did this early on at my current place of employment and it seemed to help. I made three batches of mini muffins and left them in the community kitchen, and sent out an to our staff, letting them know that breakfast was on me. :) People LOVED it and it helped to "break the ice," so to speak.

Also, keep a candy jar on your desk. That sends people a message to come and chat with you. Sounds simple, but it really does work! I met a lot of people that way.


Above all, be yourself. If things don't get better in a few months (I've always heard that it take six months in a job to really learn the position and the culture of the company), start looking for a place that's a better fit for you.

- Response by A Trendsetter, Female, 29-35, Los Angeles, Who Cares?

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Brrrr! Sounds like a chilly atmosphere. I highly doubt anything is wrong with you. It's probably just a bunch of impersonal snobs. I think you will be able to bond better with the new contractors coming in. Is there a coffee shop nearby? Maybe offering to pick up coffee or ask someone to go with you? Not everyone likes the "office coffee"...or going out to lunch somewhere? Maybe getting your co-workers out of the office atmosphere may thaw the chill a little. Good Luck!

- Response by A Thinker, Female, 36-45

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i understand gal coz am facing absolutely same problem since years :-(:-(:-(:-(

- Response by hansumguy73, A Rebel, Male, 36-45, Kolkatta

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