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Why are men indecisive?
Dating / 8:13 PM - Saturday June 05, 2010

Why are men indecisive?

Why would he say he loves you one minute, pouring his heart out and everything he's ever been through in his life and then a month later when you tell him you love him he says ya and proceeds to say he feels like he's being "forced" to say it? No one forced you to say I love you first! So how could I be forcing you to say it when I merely said it myself because I was going to bed? I didn't even say it back to him when he first said it because it scared me. (I eventually did say it obviously though.)

- Asked by kitykat713, A Creative, Female, 18-21

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I am never indecisive, I don't think, well maybe, uhhh, I am not sure, oh yes, I am positive, well, maybe, uuh, not sure, can I get back with you on this?

- Response by phoenixbandit, A Guy Critical, Male, 66 or older, Columbus, Law Enforcement

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You need to tell this guy to come on AO. Then we can tell him what a gigantic pain in the ass you are going to be.

- Response by newyorkjoe, A Career Man, Male, 36-45, Lawyer

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Anyone can say anything to a person when they are highly sensitive or emotional. He poured his heart out when he was feeling emotional. But, he doesn't truly mean what he said. Now, that everything's cool, he doesn't feel the need to be as loving. Is this your boyfriend? You don't really get into what type of relationship this is. If you're fwb, please get out of it. Because, you're going to get your heartbroken down the road. You're a good person to have around for now. But, I don't see him taking you very serious at the moment.

- Response by thelovedovefor1, A Creative, Female, 46-55, Atlanta, Who Cares?

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I;d say the reason men are so indecisive is the same as the reason women are so indecisive. Truth is many men and women alike are indecisive. On some issues men are more so than women. On other issues women are more indecisive then men. Truth is the answer lies usually in one's own backyard so to speak. Figure out why women are so indecisive and you'll have a good idea why men are. To make a sweeping generalisation that most of us don't quite agree with isn't going to engender a workable answer. What you are asking comes down to the realm of human nature.

With that said let's look at the real issue here and that is why he has a hard time saying he loves you when you have an easy time saying it to him. The answer to that actually is quite simple, socialisation. Men are socialised to believe that showing or expressing deep emotions is a sign of vulnerability. What happened between you was that he did take the leap of faith early on and opened himself up to vulnerability and you did not reciprocate which caused him to close that vulnerable part of him. Now you are finally saying it and he has closed up his vulnerable side and is more protective of his feelings. I imagine what you are feeling now is pretty much how he felt when he opened up to you before. The way you are feeling now about it is what you put him through when he opened up. Not a good feeling is it? I know it's not a good feeling when the shoe is on the other foot but one does reap what one sews. All you can do now is give it time and let it all come naturally when it's ready to come. This should be easy enough to understand now that you've had a taste of it yourself too.

- Response by canajun, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 56-65, Vancouver, Self-Employed

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