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What do you get for a woman who has just lost her husband of only 6 weeks?
Sex & Intimacy / 1:36 PM - Thursday June 03, 2010

what do you get for a woman who has just lost her husband of only 6 weeks?

long story short...
there is a new manager at my work who is also newly married. last Saturday she was the manager on duty and left early because her husband was in a car accident. Two of my other managers came to bring her to the hospital he was at because both her and her husband are from out of state and have no family here. The next day at work I heard that her husband had in fact passed away from a motorcycle accident. What makes it even worse was that I'm pretty sure he passed before she made it to the hospital so she was never able to speak with him again. A bunch of people at work are signing a small sympathy card, but i wanted to get her something myself. She is not much older than I am and I worked with her frequently and started to develop a sort of friendship with her. She is one of those really likable people with a small town innocence. (her sister and I also have the same name) I know a lot of this stuff doesn't really matter, but the small time that I did know her I felt very connected to her and my heart breaks for her and her family. I want to show her that I care and whether or not she chooses to stay in the city (which I'm doubting she will) she has a friend in me. What should I give her? I'm going to send her a card, but what do you say to someone who loses their husband of only 6 weeks unexpectedly? Thanks for the help guys! please send your thoughts and prayers her way!

- Asked by francesca128, A Sportif, Female, 26-28, Student

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That if she just needs to talk, hang out, or cry with someone, she can call on you at any hour....

Perhaps take her out for dinner, to get her out of the house. Let her know that you would like to become friends, that you care about her and her family, and she can call or stop by anytime, that she can trust in you....anyone who has lost someone knows all too well that you can never have enough support and friends to count on...

- Response by iowaczechartist, A Thinker, Female, 46-55

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What you get her right now isn't as important as being there for her down the road. Send her a card or flowers. Call her. Tell her you are there for her. After the funeral is over, make sure you keep in touch. Chances are she won't be back to work right away so make it a habit to call or stop by every other day. Take her for ice cream to a park or a movie. I admire your thoughtfulness.

- Response by socialbutterflye, A Hippie Chick, Female, 36-45, Financial / Banking

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Will send prayers her way. I think you treat her the same as if she were married 5 or 20 years. Flowers, in addition to the group card, would be nice. People say they appreciate the phone calls from people who say they are just checking in and don't mind either way if she wants to talk or hang up quickly.

- Response by maryea, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Retired

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Wow, horrible story. The only advice I can give is to find something that conveys your emotions truly, whether it is a card with heartfelt sympathy or some other vehicle. Think of what you would want to hear and say that

- Response by sexytony617, A Creative, Male, 46-55, Boston, Consulting

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I'm not real good with gift-giving, especially woman to woman, but I would think a bouquet of colorful flowers might be nice. Dont worry that you've only know this person for 6 weeks. She is grieving, you want to reach out to her, that's all that matters. Bless you for thinking of her.

- Response by betterbird, A Creative, Male, 46-55, San Francisco, Administrative

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well my friend I am a former Paramedica Firefighter and I can tell you that everyone processes traumatic events like that differently. I think knowing a bit about her spiritual life or lack thereof can be helpful. sometimes the best thing you can do is offer a sympathitic ear rather than material things. I hate to say it but most just wont find solice in any material posession at that time. in fact a teddy bear or solmething like that can even backfire if its something that brings up emotions she shared with him etc. Its a hard question to answer because the exact opposite can also be true. the teddy bear could go over well who knows. thats the point and thats why I suggest your tithing be in prayers and support right now at work. your willingness to cover shifts or help lift work related burdens are probably the best gift you can give her. good luck, sorry for your friends loss. god bless, Sam

- Response by itsamanbaby, A Career Man, Male, 36-45, Minneapolis, Executive

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Give her your phone number , and an empty certificate for a get together . You could make a list of things or just say if your feeling alone you don't have to be. Or something like that. I think having you around would be the greatest gift.And you do not have to say or do anything right just be there and listen
with a box of tissue and lots of hugs.

- Response by morningdust, A Creative, Female, 56-65, Self-Employed

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