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How often should your potential boyfriend call you?
Dating / 10:52 PM - Monday May 31, 2010

How often should your potential boyfriend call you?

I've been dating this guy for a few months and we're pretty sure we want to make it official the only problem is sometimes he's close and really affectionate then I won't hear from him for 2-3 days. Is this abnormal? Could he be playing games? I need to know what course of action to take and how often I should expect to hear from him. I understand that I can call too but sometimes I know guys want to do the pursuing. Help please!!

- Asked by Female, 36-45

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2-3 days isn't much, especially in beginings. People get busy with their lives, on occasion.

Youngin's text all the time through this stuff, but us older folks don't...always. And I think we tend to worry more. :/

If you're not hearing from him enough, and you two have agreed to make it official...call him.

He might be very happy to hear from you. :)

The trick is, getting enough communication in both lives to make it work.

Sure...there's all the saying that men want to pursue, and that if they want you, they'll find the time...but in reality? Sometimes....one just gets busy...and time gets away.

A man also wants to know that his woman wants to talk to him. That she will check in when he doesn't.

Do what works for you two, in your situation, and forget the "norms". I wish you both the best! :)


- Response by mamom04, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 56-65, Phoenix

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He's definitely playing games...

It's softball on Saturday morning,
and I think tennis Sunday afternoon.

- Response by fehkarfight, A Couch Potato, Male, 46-55, Who Cares?

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No he is not playing games. Constant communication early on indicates "needy". "controlling", or "Stalker".

The questions you should ask are;
Does he call when he says he will call.

Does he show up when he said he would show up.

When you are together does he share his schedule. That is does he let you know his plans so you can plan. "Dear I have a softball tournament this weekend......."

Since you are not living together, daily or multiple calls daily should not be expected.

He is seeing you, aka dating you and his buddies know it. If you have already met or been mentioned to family you are dating. That is you are the defacto girlfriend.

To many women ruin a situation with the "talk" to make it official. Accept what is there. Otherwise the guy will feel pressured and he may run.....

At the one year mark (or thereabouts) you are allowed to ask what is the "future" in non-demanding tone and terms. If your clock is ticking early on you can ask what he thinks of kids, family, etc.. Do not do it in the interrogation room style, do it casually with oblique questions.

Good luck

- Response by archerchef, A Player, Male, 56-65, Vienna, Who Cares?

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