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Is he just trying to get in my pants?
Sex & Intimacy / 9:32 PM - Saturday May 29, 2010

Is he just trying to get in my pants?

I've been seeing this guy for a little over a month, and I'm wondering if he's just trying to get in my pants. We haven't had sex yet, I told him I wanted to wait (because I'm unsure of his motives) and he was respectful and said he would. He's amazingly sweet but says things that I feel he would only say to a girl he's just trying to have sex with. "I'm craving your kiss" "I can't wait to see your beautiful face, that beautiful body" etc. When we do go out, we don't always make out right away. We do have conversation and he calls me and texts.

So, my question is this. What is your opinion on my situation. And are their signs that a guy is just trying to get in your pants?

I'm going to talk to him about it soon, but I'm already falling head over heels, and I want to protect my heart as much as possible. Thank you in advance :)

- Asked by Female, 22-25

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Yes, there are signs and he's held every one of them up to you. It's only been a little over a month and you're already talking about falling head over heels? Everything about his conversation suggests that he's directing things to a more physical relationship. I mean, what else of substance is there about this guy that you like? You don't mention it here. You're talking about sex, so that's what it appears he's patiently waiting for. But, just know, just because he's waiting with you, doesn't mean he isn't already getting it from others.

- Response by thelovedovefor1, A Creative, Female, 46-55, Atlanta, Who Cares?

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I have always held to the 90 day rule. 3 months. Period. has never failed me. Catherine Zeta-Jones held off Michael Douglas for over year and a ring... Give it up too easy, and you get what you are most afraid of.

- Response by A Career Woman, Female, Who Cares?, Guadalajara, Self-Employed

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Any guy who asks you for a date wants to get in your pants. We don't date girls we don't want to fuck. We've already decided you're fuckable before we ask you for a date.

So... hey you're the one who calls the shots about when and if it happens. If you don't put out in the first few weeks and he's still asking for more dates then... well yes he's into you.

- Response by tfsustfu, A Life of the Party, Male, 26-28

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I think men get confused about this issue.
what would we think if he didn't say those things?
then I would wonder if he wants to kiss me or finds me beautiful? on the other hand some times I too wonder if that's all they are after when they say those things.
maybe it's the way they say every thing and the timing of it, but I don't think most of them know what to do to get the message across with out insulting us.
one of us women need to write a book I think, do you think so too? :)


- Response by allie112, A Trendsetter, Female, 46-55, Who Cares?

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"I told him I wanted to wait (because I'm unsure of his motives)" equals:

"He hasn't shown me anything of himself that is mutual to me; and thus trustworthy."

"Sweet" is NOT a personality trait, but the taste of sugar. In order for the whole tongue and palette to enjoy a good meal, both have got to savor the bitter, tart, sour and sweet tastes, equally. The bitter and sour are the life experiences in his history that are bitter and sour but that have shaped everything positive in his personality today to a sweet tartness that complements all the same life experiences or personality traits in you.

But for this guy you say you've been dating for a month as the potential marriage prospect dating is--which; judging by your age bracket, you haven't been taught, there is no mention you and he have bonded over any life-affirming shared experience(s) that have proved you both right for each other and equally lacking in doubt. Instead, after thirty days of communication however you've done it, you don't know what it is about you that had caused him to ask you out initially because you never asked him. Which again, equates to you having given him a month to fill you up with sweet nothings of "I'm craving your kiss and can't wait to see your face and body" and no substance of any shared and mutually fun bonding experiences with him have blown his mind, you insist in your end paragraph you've already fallen head over heels for. Yet again, of this guy you said in your second line you don't trust because he has not told you the truth you've not asked for in your choice to read his mind through signs obvious in a read between the lines, your last printed line ends: "I want to protect my heart as much as possible."

Which again equates to:

"HE'S "NOT" WORTH THE GAMBLE TO ME."

- Response by thedaimler2006, An Alternative Girl, Female, 56-65, Atlanta, Self-Employed

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"I told him I wanted to wait (because I'm unsure of his motives)" equals:

"He hasn't shown me anything of himself that is mutual to me; and thus trustworthy."

"Sweet" is NOT a personality trait, but the taste of sugar. In order for the whole tongue and palette to enjoy a good meal, both have got to savor the bitter, tart, sour and sweet tastes, equally. The bitter and sour are the life experiences in his history that are bitter and sour but that have shaped everything positive in his personality today to a sweet tartness that complements all the same life experiences or personality traits in you.

But for this guy you say you've been dating for a month as the potential marriage prospect dating is--which; judging by your age bracket, you haven't been taught, there is no mention you and he have bonded over any life-affirming shared experience(s) that have proved you both right for each other and equally lacking in doubt. Instead, after thirty days of communication however you've done it, you don't know what it is about you that had caused him to ask you out initially because you never asked him. Which again, equates to you having given him a month to fill you up with sweet nothings of "I'm craving your kiss and can't wait to see your face and body" and no substance of any shared and mutually fun bonding experiences with him have blown his mind, you insist in your end paragraph you've already fallen head over heels for. Yet again, of this guy you said in your second line you don't trust because he has not told you the truth you've not asked for in your choice to read his mind through signs obvious in a read between the lines, your last printed line ends: "I want to protect my heart as much as possible."

Which again equates to:

"HE'S "NOT" WORTH THE GAMBLE TO ME."

- Response by thedaimler2006, An Alternative Girl, Female, 56-65, Atlanta, Self-Employed

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"we don't always make out right away"

Well, how often and how long do you MAKE OUT with this guy?

Actually, this is something that you should not be doing at all, if you are serious about not wanting to have sex with him. Kissing, moaning and groaning, etc., and then not allowing him to go further is unkind and many women have been physically hurt over it. It is not a nice thing to do to a man. They might consider it extreme teasing.

I asked how much time you spend on this activity because if it is A LOT, that would be a sign to me that he is after the OTHER thing.

- Response by randyl, A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?, Los Angeles, Who Cares?

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This fellow seems a little awkward with his communication, but I think he's sincere. The question is, how long are you going to make him wait?

- Response by betterbird, A Creative, Male, 46-55, San Francisco, Administrative

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