Thank you for your many years of support. We want to share the news with you that after much consideration, will cease operations in its present format on October 15th. We appreciate your meaningful contributions over the years.
Back to Active Questions

Active Questions

She doesn't know what she wants....
Dating / 9:35 AM - Wednesday May 26, 2010

She doesn't know what she wants....

When a GF says she doesn't know what she wants in regards to a relationship, she has a kid, studying at college, and a job....what should I do? Should I just make her mind up for her and walk, or sit and wait for her to decide?

I have been with her for 7 months, and we both say we love each other.

- Asked by Male, Who Cares?

Read more about the Rating System

holy crap it's way too early. 7 months??? come on. you sound like an 18 year old girl.

- Response by beanielou, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Who Cares?

Rating Received:

Community Rating: Community Star

It depends what you mean by not knowing what she wants. What do you want? To live together? Marriage?

If she were in love with you, she wouldn't hesitate, if you were in love, you wouldn't be thinking of ''walking'' after only 7 months.

She is a one-parent family, making her way through college. Its possible, that looking after her child she isn't able to socialise as much as she would like to and needs to in order to be able to know what she wants?

7 months really isn't that amount of time to know a person enough to know if you want to spend your life with a person. Do you stay in most nights with her because its not easy to get a baby sitter? How well do you know each other, how you react in different situations, etc?

Just to love someone isn't always enough, for either of you or for anyone. Being in love, is different.

I think you should really communicate with each other, no one can really advise you what you should do. Why should you be pressing for an answer after only knowing her for 7 months? This is putting pressure on your relationship.

- Response by heatherjune123, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, London, Who Cares?

Rating Received:

Sounds like she has a lot on her plate... If she says she "doesn't know what she wants" I wonder what was the question? It may just be too much pressure for her to make ANOTHER big decision especially since all decisions she makes involves a child and with all her obligations (school & work) she may not want to feel she has the time to commit to you any more than she already has - with the little info you posted I suggest you chill out back off and admire her for her accomplishments... girls like that. =)

- Response by A Sweet Sarah, Female, 36-45, Boston, Financial / Banking

Rating Received:

What she is really saying is that she will sit back and allow you to do everything, but with this statement she is taking any responsiblity away from her. She feels that by making this statement that she is off the hook for leading you on. I think the best thing for you to do is move on. If she wants to be with you and can't make up her mind after 7 months. This is just her way of getting what she wants and not making an effort on her end. Tell her when she gets her life together to get in touch, but you don't have time for her. May women if the shoe were on the other foot would say that she was wasting your time. The same goes for you. She is wasting your time but not making a commitment. This is a bad sign. You should dump her and move on with life.

- Response by juandontbeg, A Career Man, Male, 36-45, Self-Employed

Rating Received:

Okay pretty simple ask her to marry you she will either say yes or no..........IJS

- Response by seasons4, A Sportif, Female, 46-55, Financial / Banking

Rating Received:

She doesn't know what she wants, but she knows it's NOT YOU.
It's just like when my last ex said "I need time"... ie, to wind things down between us.

- Response by chesterdad, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 66 or older, San Francisco

Rating Received: