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Recently I found out that my husband erases everything off his cellphone before he gets home. Why?
Married Life / 1:13 PM - Friday May 21, 2010

Recently I found out that my husband erases everything off his cellphone before he gets home. Why?

He is in the Army. Every time he comes back from a deployment he is more and more different. I had to use his phone one evening and I noticed there was nothing. So I did ask him and he said "Oh I do that all the time to start fresh for the next day" I left it at that, but he still gets calls and text messages after he gets home. He locks himself in the bathroom for thirty minutes or more and says he is playing a game on his phone. "He has no games on his phone" He is so protective of his cell phone. What is going on?

- Asked by Female, 46-55

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He's talking to someone he doesn't want to share with you. So sorry. Best wishes. (Put your ear to a wall outside the bathroom if you can and listen in).

- Response by stoney07, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 66 or older, Who Cares?

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Community Rating: Community Star

Clearly you already know the answer to that questions. But yes, I agree with you.

- Response by hubbyochris, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, Cleveland, Executive

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well, being that's he's in the army, maybe he's involved in some very top secret missions that requires him to delete his phone records and at the same time not alowd to tell you about his top secret mission.

- Response by guy5432, A Mr. Married Guy, Male, 36-45, New York, Who Cares?

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the results are probably NOT GOOD. If I have nothing to hide... I don't try and hide it. It is possible to play games on a phone without having a game actually on your phone, but this would eat up internet time and could be seen on the phone bill. So if you notice your phone bill sky rocketing with game playing, he could be telling the truth. If the bill shows none of that... well, then he is lying and most likely texting in the bathroom and then deleting it.

- Response by A Creative, Male, 46-55, New York, Fitness

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Check online. you will be able to see his calling records. And notice if one number pops up all the time. call it from a pay phone and see what you see.

- Response by bellabyrdie, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Who Cares?

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First off let me say I was a military brat; my dad was in the Navy. My brother is in the Army and he served in Iraq. With that being said. I know a lot of men either before or due to the military become what you could call a type A personality. The military life style changes a person a lot. How they change depends on the person as well as many factors. I'm referring to this A type personality due to the fact he says cleaning out his phone allows him to "start fresh for the next day." So like you said I can somewhat leave that as is and take him at his word. However, all the other little things that don't "add up" the getting texts and calls and locking himself in the bathroom make me wonder. If it makes me wonder as an outsider that's not a good sign. If you find yourself justifying things and make excuse this is never good. I don't want to jump to conclusions but we both know what it looks like. The military also makes it ever easy to cheat and can make it easy to grow apart. The military (as I'm not telling you anything you probably already know) is difficult at times on a family and a marriage, with long hours and deployments (along with other things). As for you talking about a deployment that is such a hard thing. They don't come back the same. I would suggest counseling for the both of you even if there is "nothing (apparently) wrong". It's hard to say what's causing him to act this way. I wouldn't suggestion jumping to a conclusion however don't be naive and stupid. I wouldn't be on his case all the time, but don't be afraid to ask. Let's say nothing is going on (no cheating) you still feel distance and like he's not communication. You must or you wouldn't be on here questioning it or you would just take him at his word and drop it, but something has you wonder and question. Call it your gut feeling intuition whatever you never want to NOT listen to it!! I would ask questions. Tell him you feel distant, and then me, I would check up on things on my own. If it's nothing then you see and there's no need to bring it up. I would defiantly get counseling either way like I said. If you love the man which you must have at some point I think you should try to work through this and find out what's going on. I believe you don't fall out of love it was there at one time you can get back to that point if you try (don't get me wrong sometimes things can't be fixed, I'm just saying for people that don't try and say they fell out of love).
If it is something you need to collect as much proof and a plan (if you would leave if you did catch him cheating). You need to understand and do your research. What happens if you all slip? The military works different it's a whole other world? If you live on base how do you move where do you go all those things? And that just if if if if.
I hope this gets you thinking about everything. I hope maybe something in this helps! Take Care!

- Response by meganlw, Female, 26-28, Therapist

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Well put simply, he's obviously hiding something. He would not do this or have any reason to do this if he had nothing to hide. Sorry, to tell you this but he's probably cheating. He's talking to someone he doesn't want you to know about, and hides it from you--this only can really mean one thing.

- Response by A Creative, Female, 29-35, Denver, Medical / Dental

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There is only one reason: Inappropriate relations with other women.

I have noticed that army wives tend to get fat, are angry, nag and are lazy and chock full of problems. It wouldn't surprise me if nearly all of them were up to no good while their husbands were away for a year at a time. Army guys tend to stay in better shape so they would have an easier time getting one night stands. They are also the types of guys who want a career where they can spend large amounts of time away from their wives. Put all of that together and it's a recipe for unfaithfulness.

- Response by A Guy Critical, Male, 46-55, Technical

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he doesn't want u to know who he is talking to

- Response by bigcurt, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 56-65, Pittsburgh, Self-Employed

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First thing that comes to my mind, he is scared what you may find.
If he is taking a crap for thirty minutes, he may be talking to someone that he does not want you to know about.
Can't you read between the lines?

- Response by amandasboy, A Father Figure, Male, 66 or older, Atlanta, Retired

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