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Why can't he just tell me he doesn't love me?
Dating / 4:02 PM - Friday May 14, 2010

Why can't he just tell me he doesn't love me?

That's what pisses me off the most about our breakup. I feel like all I need to hear to get the closure I need is that he doesn't love me, but he won't say it. He tells me he still cares for me, loves me, but differently. I asked him to clarify if it's more like love for a family member? He responded saying "I love you..but you need to move on." Why is this one thing pissing me off? He also said it would hurt him to see me with someone else, but at the same time he would be happy. I'm so confused. Why can't men just be blunt. Do you think he's trying to string me along just a little?

- Asked by leslierose97, A Hippie Chick, Female, 26-28

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i think he's trying NOT to hurt to you more by admiting that there is someone else he loves more than you.

- Response by guy5432, A Mr. Married Guy, Male, 36-45, New York, Who Cares?

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Here's my opinion...the closure that you need is already there sticking infront of your eyes! He is just playing it safe. He never realise though that by not saying he doesnt love you anymore hurts you more! But the fact remains he said he wanted you to move on is a big sign that he doesnt love you anymore. He was just trying to feed your ego by saying he will still get hurt seeing you with another one, just to make you feel important still but he is just full of it. I been into that situation before and trust me, I closed my eyes and moved on without looking back its not worth it my dear!

- Response by asianlovely13, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, London, Managerial

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I don't think he is stringing you along. I think he is trying NOT to hurt you. He wants to break up with you, but is trying to do it nicely. Your closure needs to come from the fact that he is breaking up with you. He doesn't want a relationship with you. It doesn't matter how he says it, he is saying it. His actions are also saying it. I know it hurts but, he is just trying to be decent about it. I think that is all it is.

- Response by iamboo2, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Charlotte, Therapist

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Why expect that, he already said it "you need to move on" that is the closure, that means he cares as no ill towards you but he has someone else.

Move on he is not trying to do anything besides break up.


- Response by vitamin, A Life of the Party, Male, 36-45, Mexico City, Financial / Banking

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He feels no connection with you anymore, but he thinks you are a good person. He'll be happy if you move on because you deserve to be happy. He'll be jealous because he WISHES he had that connection, but he just doesn't. He does not love you anymore. Sorry.


- Response by myndseye711, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Vladivostok, Technical

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At some point you must have given him the idea that you were slamming the door, turning the corner and hitting the road.....

And I am reminded of the platitude: If you love someone, let them go. If they love you, they will return. rek

rek

- Response by rekkonball, A Guy Critical, Male, 66 or older, Retired

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This man sounds like he love you enough to let you go and be happy. you know like in a love story when he knows he is ill but doesn't want to tell you to pretect you?
it may be nothing like that, but it just sounds that way, or I've seen too many movies.
he would tell you I believe if he didn't still love you.


- Response by allie112, A Trendsetter, Female, 46-55, Who Cares?

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In the nicest possible way for You, he was trying to tell you, that he loved you but he was NOT IN LOVE with you. There is a difference. Loving someone is NOT ENOUGH for a lifelong relationship and he realised that, and yes, when you have had a relationship with someone it would hurt to see you with someone else, if it didn't he would never have had any feelings for you. And yes, he would be happy for you.

He wasn't trying to string you along, nor was he playing games with you, he was telling you the truth, he did love you, he tried to explain as best he could. Being in love is different, ok? It is a depth of love that transcends all other which is unique to a couple when they're in love. This cannot be made to happen between a couple - it just does.

I hope you feel a bit better now? When the time and the person is right, you will find love, and when that happens it will feel right and you will be happy :)

- Response by heatherjune123, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, London, Who Cares?

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I do not agree that he is trying to string you along.
Here's why...he said: "you need to move on." AND...sometimes relationships don't work out for reasons regardless of if theu love is there or not.
You need to stay away from him for a bit..take some time and heal...you WILL meet someone else, but to be fair to that person you have to take the time to get rid of your emotional baggage youre holding onto.
I know, I know..it's not easy, but you can do it.
Focus on getting yourself where you need to be, and then remind yourself what you want in a man..you deserve EXACTLY that. Don't tell yourself any different.

- Response by jms504, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 29-35, Philadelphia, Technical

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Right now, he has "mixed emotions." But, obviously, he still wants "out" of the relationship. So...just let it go.

Yours is not to reason why....let him go bye-bye, pick up your marbles and go home. Tomorrow will be better even though it doesn't seem like it right now.

- Response by pushkins, A Thinker, Female, 66 or older, Miami, Who Cares?

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