Back to Home

Active Questions

My ex-wife is sharing a bedroom with our 6 year old daughter when she is with her. Although I'm
Family & Parenting / 8:27 PM - Sunday May 09, 2010

My ex-wife is sharing a bedroom with our 6 year old daughter when she is with her. Although I'm

unhappy with the situation (we also have a 14 y.o. son together who has his own bedroom there), but I felt I needed to pick my battles and I'm not sure what I could do legally about that anyway. Regardless, I recently found out that her boyfriend is staying with them also and is sharing that same bedroom with my daughter. This idea is unfathomable to me and I intend to talk to my attorney tomorrow, but I wanted to get some opinions on it as well. I discussed the issue with my ex and her bf and they are just oblivious. I don't think a 6 year old girl should be sharing a bedroom with any adult man, period. Obviously, its even harder on me considering its my daughter. Does anyone think the idea is not just horrible?

- Asked by A Guy Critical, Male, 36-45

Read more about the Rating System


Get a lwayer immediately. If this was me I'd have taken this guy out behind the barn by now for a Texas-style ass-whoopin'. And your ex wife is just as much at fault here. 6 is too old to share a bed with anyone, let alone a strange man. Let me know how this goes. This kind of thing really bothers me.

- Response by doctorphil, A Guy Critical, Male, 56-65, Los Angeles, Celebrity

Rating Received:


I think it's very irresponsible of your ex. If she insists on living with her BF, she needs to get a 3 bedroom place so that the children at least have their own rooms. No court would approve this arrangement, either.

- Response by 1junebug, A Cool Mom, Female, 36-45

Rating Received:


I think you have every right to be mad about it, I mean she is YOUR daughter and she is soo young. I think it would be okay is it were just your ex wife in the room, but seeing that he boyfriend is there, that's really weird. You just can't trust people nowadays. Talking to your attorney would be the best thing to do and I believe you should be concerned.

- Response by janebear007, A Hippie Chick, Female, 22-25, Artist / Musician / Writer

Rating Received:


If they were married, it still would be totally wrong, let alone here's some here today, gone tomorrow bf she's doing that with! Sounds like if she doesn't have room for her, your daughter needs to reside with you! Very unacceptable situation!
Talk to your lawyer & strive to get custody of her.

- Response by syncaset, A Creative, Male, 46-55, Dallas, Artist / Musician / Writer

Rating Received:


The courts will agree.

Most judges will REQUIRE that the child has his/her own bed.

My suggestion....keep emotion out of it. Do some research and cite studies that say this is wrong.

I would have a freak fit about this. I completely agree with you.


- Response by myndseye711, A Cool Mom, Female, 29-35

Rating Received:


Hi. As a man of God I have to totally agree with you. Not just for your daughters sake but your former wife as well. She is probably having sex with her boyfriend. God says sex outside of marriage is not acceptable in God's sight. I believe you have legal rights concerning this matter. Start a chain of events file keeping track of the dates and times your wife is sharing her bedroom with her boyfriend. This will be something you can have your attorney take before a judge and possibly get full custody of your daughter and possibly your son as well. Your former wife would be deemed as an unfit mother while acting in this manner. I have always found we can't go wrong when we stand on God's principles. I hope this helps. Stay blessed in God's loving peace. Reply if you like or have further questions.

Yours in Christ Jesus
Al

- Response by mralwhite, A Father Figure, Male, 66 or older, Retired

Rating Received:


File for custoday of her. Your EX doesn't have very good judgement....It would bother me to have a 6 yr old in the room with a man....If you don't want the child, call DCS and tell them. She needs to be living in a bigger home. Maybe she can get into an Income based rental apartment if she can't afford it on her own. I would have the daughter out of that home tomorrow if I was you.

- Response by kmf1, A Life of the Party, Female, 46-55, Minneapolis, Who Cares?

Rating Received:


I wouldn't see it a such a big deal if it was just your daughter and your ex in a room but the boyfriend too? Oh hell no. That would be a big problem for me too.

- Response by misskitty420, A Cool Mom, Female, 29-35, Student

Rating Received:


I don't know what others on here will say, but in my own opinion, I think you have a right to question this and do something legal about it.

- Response by pushkins, A Thinker, Female, 66 or older, Miami, Who Cares?

Rating Received:


that not right to have the child in the room regardless of what they are doing or not doing. i just hope that they are not doing anything will she in room. do what it take to get your child where it safe. i understand your ex wife dont to be single or whatever but there a right way to handle that and there a wrong way to handle that and she is do it the wrong way.

- Response by hotbabygurl23, An Alternative Girl, Female, 29-35, Who Cares?

Rating Received:


Talk to your ex about it first. If she can't understand why it bothers you and refuses to change the sleeping arrangement, file in court.

I sometimes have naps with my 6 year old niece and 1 year old baby in the bed (which usually end with no one sleeping and her playing or reading the baby a story), but we are blood related and both girls.

I know she's old enough to be shy around my brother in law, so your daughter also likely feels shyness around this boyfriend.

Occasionally, my niece has a sleep over and sleeps in the same room as my other sister and her husband (the cool uncle), but their bed is small she's sleeping on a mattress on the floor-and this is a once a year party.


I wouldn't jump to any conclusions, this guy could be perfectly decent and your ex just has no clue that this arangement for anything frequent is totally unnaceptable. I would personally feel extremely uncomfortable if it were my niece. Tell her it has to stop now. If she won't, go to court.

- Response by milla, A Thinker, Female, 36-45

Rating Received:


This is just a comment. I had a girlfriend that used to share her bed with her 18 year old son every night. That didn't really freak me out until I saw them kissing each other on the lips. I can't tell you what my friends were saying about that!!! That's when I realized I was in a uncomfortable situation.

- Response by guitarplayer2010, A Creative, Male, 36-45, Artist / Musician / Writer

Rating Received:


I think you are right...and the fact that you have spoken to both adults and they reacted the way they did. Stay calm and try not to go into a rage, because I know that I would be pretty pissed. I wish you the best.

- Response by michellekia, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, St.Louis, Other Profession

Rating Received:


I am just going through a separation with my wife, and our 7 yr old daughter will sleep in bed with my wife on a regular basis. This is more of a compfort thing than anything else. however, when you add in the bf, it's just wrong. If I knew that a grown man that was not me, was sleeping in the same bed and my daughter, I would be pissed and definatly raise a big issue about it. How does your daughter feel about this?

- Response by candide, A Career Man, Male, 36-45, Milwaukee, Consulting

Rating Received:


That type of situation happened with my sisters husband his ex had a daughter that didn't like him and wanted her mother back with her father so her father put her up to saying some pretty bad things about him and the charges were filed and after the child realized what was going on and was taken to talk to the district attorney personally he refused to drop the charges and he spent time in prison because of it. I've seen them all a few times myself at BBQs and anytime the conversation turns to something remotely about it she just keeps apologising for it even tho she wasn't really the one to blame. Bad thing is that honestly I think she has a better relationship with him than her father because of it all.

I suppose the point I'm making in telling you this is make sure she is the first and foremost thing on your mind and keep in mind shes watching all of you and she won't forget.

- Response by A Rebel, Male, 29-35

Rating Received:


Agreed.

Nothing else to say really, there is a chance that this guy gets his jollies from young children.

- Response by penguinboi, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 26-28, Student

Rating Received: