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What does it mean when your girlfriend hangs out with mostly guy friends? Is that normal?
Dating / 9:41 AM - Thursday May 06, 2010

What does it mean when your girlfriend hangs out with mostly guy friends? Is that normal?

My girlfriend spends a lot of time hanging out with other guys and says she can't stand girl drama. She's had two male roommates in the past year as well. But all the guys she hangs out with are all googley-eyed around her and want talk to her as if she is single. I hardly know any of them so sometimes it's hard to trust the people she's around? What should I do?

- Asked by A Guy Critical, Male, 22-25, Student

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Either deal with it....or move on.

As I've always said....relationships are whatever you can stand. So if you cannot stand it....get out.

- Response by drumboi2, A Guy Critical, Male, 56-65

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Get over it and find a girl who doesn't "hang" with guys.

She's looking for attention and she'll do it with all guys until she "grows up." You wanna wait it out? Sounds like you could have more going for you if you found a girl more "settled" who doesn't need a bevy of males surrounding her.

- Response by pushkins, A Thinker, Female, 66 or older, Miami, Who Cares?

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Male friends I can understand...sometimes guys are easier to talk to w/o all the drama...room-mates, though? sounds like she's not ready to settle with only 1 person.

- Response by candyred06, A Creative, Female, 36-45, Houston, Home Maker

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Not only your gf finds comfort in hanging around with male friends but she obviously loves the attention they are giving her. If shes desirable I am not surprise there are guys who really want to hang around with her. Nothing wrong with the attention seeking as long as she doesnt go overboard with it and not leading them on. You got to try to tell her too that you are not that comfortable with it and just trying to protect her from future problems that she might encounter, luckily, the guys that she hanged out must be just really good friends of her :)

- Response by asianlovely13, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, London, Managerial

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well i just gotta say im in a relationship but im the girl with all the guy friends and no girl friends and it is easier to just hang with guys cuz they dont make a big deal out of nothing...
my man is pretty cool with it, ask to meet some of them sometime. That was the thing that made it easier for my boyfriend to get used to the fact that im not a hang-out-with-girls kinda girl. Theres nothing going on between any of us its just a more relaxed feel to hnagout with boys
you dont have to dress up and can act however you want.. i would just try to be open to hanging out with them and seeing how she acts around them i guess.
hope that helps

- Response by mistypeaks, A Hippie Chick, Female, 22-25, Edmonton, Body Work

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I'd have to completely agree with one of the other responses on this....sounds like to me as well that she likes the attention. For whatever reason girls do this when they want attention and the " too much drama" by hanging out with other girls, is just the excuse they give themselves to feel better about wanting male attention/companionship all the time. Sorry to be harsh.:)

- Response by A Creative, Female, 29-35, Denver, Medical / Dental

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i do the same. i have alot of guy friends and i also do have my close girl friends as well. sometimes i really prefer hanging out with guys because thet r more relaxed. with girls there is so much dramma sometimes and its really unnessassary. if she is roommating with some guys then im sure if she wanted to b wih them she would have. but she has u. so obviosly those guys r just her friends.

- Response by A Thinker, Female, 29-35

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i do the same. i have alot of guy friends and i also do have my close girl friends as well. sometimes i really prefer hanging out with guys because thet r more relaxed. with girls there is so much dramma sometimes and its really unnessassary. if she is roommating with some guys then im sure if she wanted to b wih them she would have. but she has u. so obviosly those guys r just her friends.

- Response by A Thinker, Female, 29-35

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i do the same. i have alot of guy friends and i also do have my close girl friends as well. sometimes i really prefer hanging out with guys because thet r more relaxed. with girls there is so much dramma sometimes and its really unnessassary. if she is roommating with some guys then im sure if she wanted to b wih them she would have. but she has u. so obviosly those guys r just her friends.

- Response by A Thinker, Female, 29-35

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Bullshit. Women who say they have no female friends because of the "drama" are in denial. There is no "drama" in female friendships if you choose your friends wisely. Unless, of course, the drama comes from YOU. I've had female friends all my life, and never had any drama. I choose NICE women to be friends with, not catty bitches.

Women who refuse to have women friends are desperate for male attention, and male approval. They don't want any other women around, with whom they may have to compete to be the center of the men's attention. It's a sign of immaturity, of an inability to form healthy, totally platonic friendships, and an neediness for attention from the opposite sex.

IMO, a chick like this is not ready for an exclusive relationship with one man, because they're not willing to give up the need for attention and close interaction from other men.

- Response by justpassingthru, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Financial / Banking

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If that's the was she is, then you have to accept it and trust her because getting jealous will only push her away. I'm not saying that it is an easy situation to be in, but you have to decide what's more important...and...Can you really handle the way that she is. You have to sit and think about what you really want and if it's her, then you have to ask yourself...can I handle her always hanging out with these other men or will my jealously destroy me, and/or our relationship.

- Response by delightfuldelia, A Cool Mom, Female, 46-55

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I don't care what anyone says about the situation. I have always had more guy friends than girl friends. Most girls aren't into the same stuff that I'm in to. Most females won't go fishing and stuff like I do. They don't want to touch worms or get dirty lol. I do have a couple girls that I'll hang out with on occasion but I have more guy friends and my best friend is a guy. It's hard to find females who are chill and not catty.

- Response by misskitty420, A Cool Mom, Female, 29-35, Student

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I have to side with your girl on this. Girls in general are catty, backstabbing gossipmongers who revel in their own drama. I don't see a problem with wanting to hang out with guys so long as she respects your relationship.

- Response by seductivepisces9, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Who Cares?

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no it means she is cheating on u...u are wholly right to be suspcicious

- Response by A Hippie Chick, Female, 29-35

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Well, I can understand how you would feel weird about this. Some people are just like that though. If she is hanging out with guys one-on-one alot, I would be suspicious of that. Also, if she is hanging out alot with guys and she rarely invites you along, I would be suspicious of that too. Other than that, just try and keep cool.

- Response by howjm, A Guy Critical, Male, 29-35, Managerial

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Well, i'd say there is nothing wrong if she has male friends, instead of girls...because I think the same thing..."no drama" and plus I hate shopping...lol...anyway s, as I said there is nothing wrong with it, however, she should let the guys know she's with someone and they should respect her....Unfortunately, it seems that she is not ready to settle with you alone....but it will be your choice...at least u can talk to her about this and let her know how this affects you...if she doesn't make u feel comfortable, then just move on....otherwise u can still try!!! good luck!

- Response by babelasweet, An Alternative Girl, Female, 26-28, Student

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Red flag.

From what I've seen, usually the girls that say they "can't handle girl drama" are the ones who are a huge source of the drama. Maybe your girlfriend has been hurt in the past from her female friendships, but she most likely played a role in why they haven't worked out and now she mostly hangs around guys.

Moreover, it sounds like she likes the attention she's getting from her guy "friends" and thats partially why she enjoys their company and prefers them to female friends.

I'd start to second-guess this girl if I were you. It doesn't sound like someone who can be trusted.

- Response by heavenonearth27, A Creative, Female, 26-28, Toronto

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Honestly, a friend and I were having a conversation about something similar to this the other day.
I personally prefer hanging out with guys rather than other woman for the same reasons your girlfriend does. Girls, especially around our age are young and stupid and frankly, just annoying. Nobody wants to be around them!
I myself have more male friends than girls, and I know alot of my girlfriends prefer the same thing. When a girl is friends with a guy for a long time, it is highly likely that the guy will turn to like her but it is highly unlikely for a girl to fall for the guy. From personal experience.. I have had a few very good male friends who have told me how they actually felt about me and I have more or less shut them down. It is very hard to develop feelings for a close friend like that. If they have never mentioned anything to her before about liking her or shown and 'serious' interest in her.. I wouldn't worry about it. Sometimes the way that guys joke around with friends that are girls is flirting. I wouldn't worry too much, but I can fully understand your concern. My advice, don't make a big scene about it just try hanging around these guy friends more and see how they act around you. If they are ass holes, they may actually like her. Or, maybe you will end up with some really good friends out of the deal.

- Response by ashleycountry, Female, 22-25, Hospitality

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Hang out with a bunch of your female friends and see who turns out to be insecure.

- Response by zacgabby, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 36-45, Self-Employed

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I think it depends on the girl. I have more guy friends than girl friends and it's because girls are B*tches. One minute they're you're friend the next they aren't because you didn't do something they wanted. My guy friends may be googly eyed but I'm not into them that way and they know it. Besides that I can hang out with the guys doing things like camping, video games, or just sitting around giving them advice on their girlfriends. With the girls its shopping, oh that guys checking me out no me, and is he cheating on me, I think he's cheating on me. Why's she wearing that, oh she's friends with her.

- Response by staceym2112, A Cool Mom, Female, 26-28, Medical / Dental

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It means she likes ahving them all flirt with her and she's probably had sex with a few of them in the past, might be ahving sex with one or more of them now, and will probably at some point in time have sex iwth one or mroe of thme again in the future.

- Response by A Life of the Party, Female, 36-45, Boston, Who Cares?

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