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Is choking during sex normal?
Sex & Intimacy / 1:40 PM - Monday May 03, 2010

is choking during sex normal?

I'm having sex with this guy (we're not dating) and he chokes me with both hands while we do it. He tells me to signal to him if I can't breathe though. Is this normal? He's also 10 years older than I am. I'm 19. And am I strange for thinking it feels good?

- Asked by Female, 22-25

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I wouldn't say that it's exactly "common", but it's certainly not unheard of. So no, you're not strange.

Just exercise some caution here. People have been known to die from this. David Carradine is a prime example.

- Response by piscesrising, A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?, Boston, Internet / New Media

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Community Rating: Community Star

no, this is common. however, not being able to breath really isn't the danger here. if he cuts off your blood supply to your brain you're not going to feel it before you pass out.

- Response by guy5432, A Mr. Married Guy, Male, 36-45, New York, Who Cares?

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Well.. its not the way that I would choose lol!!!! Although I've heard that some people do it...

- Response by heatherjune123, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, London, Who Cares?

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sorry, but this does not sound normal to me.
sounds like he loves hurting you and you enjoy it.

- Response by amandasboy, A Father Figure, Male, Who Cares?, Other Profession

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Choking is NOT normal, no matter whether it's during sex or not.

- Response by secret999, A Guy Critical, Male, 46-55, Los Angeles, Executive

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I hate to venture out onto the thin ice of "normal", but I don't think the practice of choking someone during sex is widespread.

But certainly not unknown either, and for the reason that you observed. It makes you feel good. As the brain is deprived of oxygen, it seems to enhance some sexual feelings. I have read somewhere that this is pretty well known.

But it is also dangerous. If you are enjoying it too much, or he is kind of in the middle of an orgasm, you might not get the signal through to him that you cannot breath, until you actually cannot breath and pass out. He would not notice until he was done fucking you and by then it could be too late.

There have been a few deaths from the practice. Advanced practicioners use a cord to do the choking, rather than a hand.

Like a lot of things, a little choking is good, then you need a little more or maybe to enhance the feeling and then more.

But you are probably not strange for enjoying it. I don't know what he is getting out of it, it may be strange that he wants to do it. And if you continue, be careful

Good luck

- Response by welloone, A Mr. Married Guy, Male, 66 or older, Retired

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Whatever floats ur boat!!

- Response by cocolover82, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 29-35

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if you like it then go for it..who cares what others think..just be careful..;P

- Response by eagerbeaver, An Alternative Girl, Female, 26-28, Who Cares?

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I'd say be careful. I suppose it kinda like the high kids get when they play the choking game unfortunately many of them die! Unless your s/o is aware of what's going on at all times then I would be afraid he would get caught up in the heat of the moment and end up killing you.

- Response by kdtxchic30, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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it's a fairly common practice. it's good that there is a "safe" word or signal that can stop this, or any other kind of sexual act between two people.

your age and his age are absolutely irrelevant.

- Response by two469, An Alternative Girl, Female, 18-21, Seattle, Science / Engineering

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There is just one teeny tiny problem with that one. I'm not gonna even TOUCH the "normal or not" thing.

The problem? Once the blood supply to the brain is cut off enough for you to lose consciousness?

YOU ARE NOT ABLE TO TELL HIM TO STOP!!!! YOU'RE ALREADY GONE!!!!

That's how that kennedy kid got in trouble, forget his name now as it was about 10 years ago.

He and this girl were having rough sex and had the same deal. "Tell me when it's too much and I'll stop."

Problem? He was choking her with both hands and HARD. Cut off oxygen to her brain, and she was GONE. SHE COULDN'T TELL HIM TO STOP BECAUSE HER BRAIN HAD ALREADY SHUT DOWN.

you won't.

But I pray you at least THINK ABOUT THAT ONE FACT.

By the time you want him to stop? Too late. YOU CAN'T TELL HIM to stop because you're already unconcious. And if he's really pounding you? And really choking you hard?

He will be so far gone sexually he won't even notice you're not responding till he comes.

- Response by hnygrl, A Career Woman, Female, 46-55, Managerial

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My partner loves to be choked during sex as did the last woman I was with. I can't bring myself to choke her hard. Fortunately she hasn't asked me to. The last woman I was with however wanted me to choke her much harder and to spank her and I had trouble doing both.

- Response by An Intellectual Guy, Male, Who Cares?, Who Cares?

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No it isn't normal. You should not be hurt at sex or choked..You should also not be having sex with people you aren't dating either...Yes you are strange for thinking someone choking you is good.. Therapy time. rosey

- Response by roseytalks, A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?, Tampa, Who Cares?

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If you're comfortable with it, if you enjoy it and if you're not harming anyone, then for you its normal. And no, you're not strange for enjoying it - lots of people do.

- Response by A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Los Angeles

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It is calling many things, including The Choking Game.

Go to this site to read about it:

http://www.associatedco ntent.com/article/16799 90/the_choking_game_fro m_sex_to_ecstasy.html

- Response by randyl, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Los Angeles, Who Cares?

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No way is this normal. A man near thirty should not be trying such kinky things on a young girl. Men have masturbated while trying to choke themselves by hanging, always hoping not to let things get out of hand. Especially young boys have been known to do this. Some actually hung themselves doing it. It supposedly intensifies their orgasm. Not necessarily true for females. TELL HIM NO..you won't participate in his kinky brand of sex. This is not your boyfriend or your lover so why take the risk of dying!

- Response by A Sweet Sarah, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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Your not strange at all as you have your own personal fetishes and stuff that you like. However I would think that this man is highly strange indeed, to be wiping out a choking move like that during sex. Your post doesn't indicate how long you have known this guy or anything before having sex with him. But I clearly think there is something off in his head for him to be doing something like this during a simple hook up (and I don't say that to cheapen you by any means). But it is just so weird to me that anyone would without that serious of a "kink" on someone he is newly having sex with. If you plan on seeing this guy again for more no strings sex, I think you need to talk about what happened and set some guidelines for when to be trying this manuver and when not to. Cause even if you have set up a signal, in a very intense moment he could very easily crush your wind pipe or even his hands could twist from the friction of sweat on his hands and your neck. Just really bad business.

- Response by CursedRomantic, A Thinker, Female, 26-28, Columbus, Student

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There was a girl in Charlottesville, VA that would tell you it wasn't normal.

- Response by etbass, A Creative, Male, 36-45, Executive

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As a man, even if a woman ASKED me to do such a thing, I'm pretty sure I would decline. I am a big strong guy...what if I get carried away and next thing you know, she is either severely injured or dead, and I get brought on murder charges.

I think it is playing with fire...if you are into dom and sub play, try spanking, using handcuffs or binding of the hands, or let him pin you down while entering you. There are many variations, but you should make sure it is someone you feel very, very safe with and of course you should have a "safe" word. But choking is something I would stay away from.



- Response by tomtomcat, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 56-65, New York, Teaching

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It's only normal if you think it is.

- Response by zacgabby, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 36-45, Self-Employed

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Normal means 80% of adults do it regularly.
So, NOT normal.
It is a deviant behaviour.
Causes heart atrack.
Enlarges the right front chamber of the heart (congestive heart disease...tansplant only remedy).
Damage to brain over time...no data. No research being done as is a deplorable act.


- Response by A Trendsetter, Female, 36-45, Vancouver

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