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What can piss off my husband's ex-wife?
Married Life / 11:07 AM - Monday May 03, 2010

What can piss off my husband's ex-wife?

hello, everybody.

Before I got into relationship with my husband i really didnt know what hell my life would turn into.I feel like his ex-wife can manipulate my life. I cant go even for a vacation not hearing from her. They have a child together, and she would bother for any stupid reason. And she knows I dont like and get a pleasure out of it. I cant take it anymore, it is too much stress on me. I just want her to be pissed off and get blue. How would she like it? Do you have any suggestions what can really piss off any ex-wife?Thanks

- Asked by Female, 29-35

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The best 'revenge' is to not let it bother you at all.

That will do two things:

1. Give you piece of mind.
2. Get her very frustrated because her tactics are not working.

#1 is most important, though.

It won't work right away but if you practice it long enough, it will do wonders for both of you ... and the problem, itself. =-)

- Response by cutypy5840, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Medical / Dental

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I know where you are coming from. My husband has 2 teens from a previous marriage and it annoys me to no end that I have to see the ex-wife alot. We even go to the same church for the kids sake. Our friends circle gets intertwined because of the kids. It is very difficult. If you do something to piss her off, keep in mind it will bite you in the butt... If she is pissed, then she will most likely take it out on your husband wich will hurt his relationship with his child.. not a good thing. On another note, I have felt that way many of times.. If you are really serious about pissing her off and can't let it go.. then take the route of being a good friend to the child. most likely she will not be able to handle a potentional step-mom having her child's attention and being her kids best friend. Be the person the child goes to when mom pisses them off...

- Response by seashiner, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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I can't give you ways to piss her off, even though I certainly would love to. Why not use this situation to your advantage?

This is a PRIME opportunity to learn a whole new level of strength you didn't realize you had. Instead of getting down and rolling in the mud with this woman, picture the most graceful, classiest way a person could possible handle this situation, then act that way. Your self-esteem will soar!

Oh, and by the way, your husband needs to grow a spine. This is HIS problem. He should be handling it, not allowing his SECOND marriage to crumble.

- Response by phillisn, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Self-Employed

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First of all, what does your husband have to say about all of this? For the sake of the child involved, you should all be trying to get along rather than finding ways to piss each other off. It just doesn't send a very positive message to the child and it puts the child in the middle of a situation that they have no control over. You both need to grow up and handle this situation in a more sensible and dignified way.

- Response by 3wiltedroses, A Player, Female, Who Cares?, Self-Employed

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Why would you want to lower yourself to be just like her??? How is that going to help anything?

Your husband needs to handle his ex-wife, not you. I would be madder at him than her that he allows her to continue to do this.

She is only doing this stuff to you because she's immature and jealous and can't let go. It's a horrible way for adults to behave and setting a bad example for the child.

I would talk to your husband and get him to take care of this. It's his problem and shouldn't be affecting you or your marriage.

- Response by mrscleaver16, A Married Girl, Female, 66 or older

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I am somewhat in the same position. I have been with my husband for 7 years and we have been married for 6 of those years. I have an ex-husband and we also have a child together. She see's him every other weekend and he use to call me all the time and most of the time it was BS and my husband would get mad and would say he was going to tell him something, But that will not solve anything. I think that if he only speaks about the child then I would not worry about it, because if you do something to piss her off then you will be making it hard for him and the child if she is that tpye of person. If he is entertaining her call other then the child then you have the issue with him, not her. I hope this will help you. GOOD LUCK.

- Response by tinsofla, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Other Profession

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You let her manipulate you and she is doing it now.
Pissing her off will not do anything but fuel the situation.
Try being kind to her...She wants you to retaliate!

- Response by lionhearted32219, A Father Figure, Male, Who Cares?, Tampa, Who Cares?

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Brush off your shoulder!!!Take a DEEP breath...Now,your husband is who you should be upset with.He allows her to have Too much control.I'd set some boundries.Cant come over without calling and asking first.Has specific times to call (after your both home)unless an emergency.He doesnt need to talk with her if alone- AT ALL!!!!
If this child is over 5yr.old...The child can call or the phone can be answered and handed to the child without you or your husband being on the phone.I'd be very involved in decision making.I'd have a wonderful relationship with their child.I'd take the stand with my husband and let him know.This is what rules need to be in place in order for me to be comfortable with this situation.He has to respect your boundries.Or you wont become comfortable with this situation.He needs to let her know of these new boundries and he needs to inforce them.He doesnt even need to be the parent talking to her...You can be the contact parent from your house.You live know whats going on with their child and your place as the stepmom gives you the authority to be involved!Set your boundries now!!

- Response by need2nobasis, Female, 36-45

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Kill her with kindness - just be as sweet as you can be, smile, ask how she is doing with each phone call, each interruption, brag about how good the kid is when with you and how much fun you are having. Just show her how much you are enjoying life with your husband and child.

Seeing someone's joy when you are miserable (which she apparently is) is the best 'revenge' if you really want it. And, if you decide to leave revenge alone (which is what you should do) really enjoying your life, your marriage and your family without even giving her a thought would be healthier for everyone.

- Response by momto11, Female, 46-55, Home Maker

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Jealousy is and ugly green-eyed monster. You have what she cannot have and she is jealous. As long as she treats you like shit, you are winning, even if it does not feel like it.

- Response by dambreaker, A Father Figure, Male, 56-65, Retired

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Act as if what she does doesn't bother you. It will drive her crazy to see you and your husband happy. Tell your husband when she ask for stuff or anything about the kids, he tells her that he have to check with you and get back with her. That will definitely piss he off

- Response by babeslawyer52, An Engaged Girl, Female, 46-55, Executive

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Can I ask you something?

If it were your child, would you want that child seeing you behave in such a vindictive, hateful and vengeful manner? Be careful what you are willing to show and even more careful with what you are willing to do.

- Response by 7zebras, A Career Man, Male, 36-45, New York, Financial / Banking

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The role of mom to his kids comes with a relationship to your husband. And here you are for petty ego reasons plotting to stir up problems with his ex and damn the consequences to the kids, your husband or if it even damages your marriage.

If you want your husband to take your relationship seriously and act responsibly then you have to be willing to do the same.

- Response by bailarenfuego, A Guy Critical, Male, 46-55, Technical

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