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Active Questions

Send a sympathy card??
Race, Religion & Politics / 12:40 PM - Monday April 26, 2010

Send a sympathy card??

My ex- husbands mother passed away recently, do I send a sympathy card?
They had a private service.

Would you feel weird getting a sympathy card from an X?

- Asked by seasons4, A Sportif, Female, 46-55, Financial / Banking

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Unless he specifically said something like "I never want to see or hear from you again", I would send it. It's a thoughtful gesture, and I'm sure he'll appreciate it.

- Response by steff81, A Hippie Chick, Female, 29-35, Teaching

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Not at all weird. I think it shows compassion and that is what is needed at a time like this. It will be a comfort to know that people are thinking of him in his time of need. I think it is a wonderful kind gesture.

- Response by bananajo82, A Married Girl, Female, 29-35, Other Profession

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This all depends on the relation you have to your ex.

My uncle passed away last weekend and even though my ex knew him, he chose not to send anything.

We had a short chat about what to do in this case and came to the conclusion that ... if one of our immediate family members dies (parents, sisters, ect - or any children) we'd definitely attend, or at least send something ... but we have children together and we maintain a friendship.

If this were just an ex boyfriend, I would probably send something if it were an immediate family memeber, but I may not if it were an extended family member.

It all depends on how close you were to the deceased, as well. =-(

- Response by cutypy5840, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Medical / Dental

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It would be a very compassionate gesture.

And for the younger doesn't matter how close you were or weren't to the deceased...funeral services and gestures of sympathy are for the LIVING, not the deceased.

The deceased is dead....he/she could really care less who shows up or sends a card.

- Response by drumboi2, A Guy Critical, Male, 56-65

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I would send one.

- Response by bobboy, A Life of the Party, Male, 66 or older, Retired

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I attended the funeral when my former mother-in-law died.

She was my MIL for more than twenty years.

She was the Grandmother to the two sons.

If you and your ex are on good terms and you liked your former MIL, yes, send a card.

If you and your ex hate each other -- have no contact -- and you hated your Monster-In-Law when she was alive -- no -- do NOT send a card.

- Response by utahmom, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Managerial

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I would send one out of respect for your ex shows you have class.

- Response by ddn1958, A Sportif, Female, Who Cares?, Who Cares?

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Depends how close you were to his family. Otherwise, if you were close you could send your respects.

- Response by hulagirl55, A Sportif, Female, Who Cares?, Who Cares?

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If you have no contact with the family I would not send an ex a sympathy card. Rosey

- Response by roseytalks, A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?, Tampa, Who Cares?

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If you were on good terms with the ex's family, it would not be distasteful to send a card of sympathy.
GO 4 it1

- Response by amandasboy, A Father Figure, Male, 66 or older, Atlanta, Retired

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I actually received a sympathy card from my ex when my dad died. She alleged that she "was a better person for having known him." How nice. She committed adultery at least twice and lied like a rug to try to get the judge to belive that the divorce was MY fault, but she's a better person for having known my dad. It still chaps my ass.

So take it from me, if you send your ex a sympathy card and you're genuinely sorry for his loss, be very carefuly about what you write in the card. Don't say ANYTHING about yourself.

- Response by 2wheels, A Creative, Male, 56-65, Retired

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When you were married to her son, you were family. Although your marriage was dissolved, it's difficult to erase your ties to his family. You may have shared a special moment with your mother-in-law or other members of his family. A sympathy card would go along way to ease their sorrow. When an ex-girlfriend's father died, I not only attended, I spoke during the remembrance. My ex's family welcomed me into their hearts when I dated their daughter, and for years afterwards.

- Response by rhunt0210, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 46-55, Other Profession

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no, I think it would be really nice - especially if you knew her.

- Response by ruffian, A Sportif, Female, 36-45

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If you were close to your ex mother-in-law, then YES, definitely send one. It is a heart felt thing, and the right thing to do. It shows that you are compasionate/humble and that you care enough, not only about yourself, but about others. It wouldn't be at all "weird."

- Response by jsduncan, Female, 46-55

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If she was ...kind to you, and wanted your rrelationship to workk...send a sympathy card, and why not throw in FLOWERS!!!

- Response by kismet331, A Thinker, Female, 36-45

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