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Why wont my boyfriend share his friend with me?
Dating, Friendship / 8:11 AM - Sunday April 18, 2010

why wont my boyfriend share his friend with me?

I have been with my boyfriend for over a year now and i feel that we have a great relationship, we are best friends as well as being girlfriend and boyfriend, and we spend most of our spare time together and share many of the same friends...and i usually tell him everything...except i dont know how to bring up my current question with him. you see he has this friend, his male best friend, which he has had for 9 years now. and he lives just down the road from my boyfriend. its obvious this friendship is important to him and he enjoys spending time with his mate but in all the time ive been with him he has never even introduced me to his friend. i thought when you were with a girlfriend you could spend time with both her and your mate at the same time and that it didnt have to be an exclusive thing? but it seems that when my boyfriend is with his mate it is "girlfriend free zone" and that when he is with me he doesnt want to spend time with his mate. i wouldnt mind getting to know his friend and i thought it would be a great way for him to spend more time with him (because we usually spend most of our weekend together and i thought we could all just hang out together sometimes) but i dont know how to discuss how im feeling about this with him...what should i do? is he not introducing me to his best mate because he knows he wont like me? or am i making too big a deal about this whole thing??

- Asked by Female, 26-28

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All anyone here can do is guess why he has kept you apart. I think I know quite a few women who would be flattered that he focuses on you when he's with you. The friend is obviously not a secret, right? I mean, you know he exists. So maybe he just wants, like you said, a "girlfriend-free zone" from time to time in exchange for devotion to you when you're with him. A time when he can belch and do other things you look down on. :)

I suppose there could be some sinister motive. Maybe he thinks his friend would hit on you. Or be mean to you. Or maybe "he" is really a "she." Or maybe it's nothing like that. If you can't raise it directly to your guy, maybe you can approach it a different way. Tell your guy you want to have a party and invite some of your friends and some of his. He'll almost have to invite this guy and you'll get a chance to meet him then.

- Response by mikehug, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, Cleveland

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He may be afraid his friend will REALLY like you.

- Response by chessplayer, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 36-45, Administrative

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Community Rating: Community Star guys we know which guy can communicate better which girls and ussually if u have yo girl u don't want her to meet him coz she might fall for him and then u left out of the pic.....or maybe yo girl flirts a lot she might decide to go for him and u kno she is prone to do such a thing.but it all boils down to insecurity.

- Response by charmingsparrow, A Life of the Party, Male, 29-35, Johannesburg, Artist / Musician / Writer

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How much do you know about this friendship? I ask because my husband has a friend who is like his brother and although I have met him and we all hang out from time to time there is no way in hell he would trust him alone with me. Background: when they were in college my husband went out of town and when he returned he found his best friend doing his girlfriend. Although they are still best friends many years later there is still an element of distrust there. So the fact that he doesn't introduce you may have nothing to do with you. Also maybe your bf has secrets that only this guy knows that he doesn't want revealed. Who knows but don't assume this is about you.

Now if you want to know what's going on then just ask. Commnication is key in a relationship and if you can't talk to him about this after a year together then it would seem that you need to work on this area in your relationship.

- Response by kdtxchic30, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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Maybe he is afraid of the stories he can tell.

- Response by frenchkiss49, A Thinker, Female, 66 or older, Tampa, Who Cares?

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I'm confused, isn't your boyfriend your mate??

- Response by shanegalang, A Rebel, Male, 46-55, Transportation

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