First, let me give you "KUDOS", Trendsetter for NOT giving high ratings to the responses. Yes, people are just giving their opinion.
Courteousness is hard to find these days & the whole "VOICE MAIL" thing can be a PITA!
Because I am curious by nature & also, I want to know just who IS calling me, many of which have no business in calling or are wrong numbers, I DO take the time to look at CID's, even when NO message is left & ESPECIALLY IF NO MESSAGE IS LEFT! I have gotten so many "telemarketing calls" & calls that I HAVE NOT OKAYED "WHEN RESEARCHING SOMETHING ON LINE, that I AGAIN POSTED ON "DO NOT CALL LIST". (It is now supposed to be "FOREVER" as of 1-2 years ago. So, if one hasn't REDONE THAT LIST, I would suggest that one does.
I get quite AGGRAVATED myself when SOMEONE CALLS & DOES NOT LEAVE A MESSAGE!! (That is ME!) I feel that IF IT WAS WORTH MAKING THE CALL, then IT IS WORTH BEING COURTEOUS ENOUGH TO LEAVE A SHORT MESSAGE, AT LEAST... & ESPECIALLY IF IT IS A WRONG NUMBER. LET THE OTHER PERSON KNOW, so that THEY ARE NOT WONDERING WHO CALLED.
I almost always RETURN CALLS THAT ARE "WRONG NUMBERS" BUT IT SEEMS THAT THE PARTY MAY NOT REALIZE THAT THEIR MESSAGE DID NOT GET TO THE RIGHT PERSON". I would hope that someone would do that for me. (Can't say that I have had that happen.) It is a courteous & helpful thing to do. (IF some of you don't think that you have the time for that, then "create your own etiquette, which is selfish & shows you don't have time for other people or give a rat's a$$.)
I SO agree with you, Trendsetter. It is QUITE ANNOYING when people call you, don't leave a message & later when you say that "I haven't heard from you in a while...", & they say, "Well, I've called you several times!". Argh!
Amen to you, "If you are courteous enough to call & leave a message why can't other people do the same?". But you can see why in the responses that you got. Too many people are so "self-absorbed" that it doesn't matter that you are a caring, courteous person. They are not.
We all pay for our phones & it is our RIGHT to do whatever we want... answer, not answer, leave a message, not leave a message, whatever, but that doesn't mean that it isn't annoying or discourteous to another.
I'd say to TELL YOUR FRIENDS, BOTH MALE & FEMALE WHAT YOU WOULD LIKE FOR THEM TO DO.... but I would also caution you, as I have lost friends doing similar things. They may make fun of you for being a considerate person & expecting the same, but then are they worth your time if they don't care about your needs. They should at least be willing to discuss it with you.
There certainly are times when leaving a message "may" not be indicated, but for ME, & it sounds like for YOU, that those times are few & far between??
As for the male thing. If I was a male, I would take offense to the messages posted. lol But on the other hand, a lot of males are "like that", as are a lot of females.
I met some folks who told me that they almost never read their emails OR check their voice mail. If you want to reach them, then you WILL HAVE TO LEAVE A TEXT MESSAGE. (Some truly are very busy, popular people.) So I GOT TEXTING ADDED TO MY PLAN... & LMAO, I STILL DIDN'T HEAR BACK FROM THEM!!! (Not until I called them on it!) At the time, I didn't have text messaging AND most of my calls I make from my home phone, so cannot leave a text.
(I used to HATE texts, but I now see a reason for them, as most phone calls end up very long, when all one needed to say was something simple, like, "I am running 15 minutes late"... or "I can't make it."... or "I am so busy, no time to talk, but wanted you to know that I was thinking about you. Will call when I have some free time.", etc.
And these days of "LEAVE A VOICE MESSAGE", I HATE! Because I call when I CAN talk & I may have several important calls to make during that same time period & I either have to wait for a return call, (which often doesn't come for a day or more, grrrrrr) or I make another call & they "blip" in & I miss their call, because IF THE OTHER PERSON TAKES THE TIME TO TALK WITH ME, I think it is DISCOURTEOUS TO ASK THEM TO BE PUT ON HOLD FOR THE 1ST CALL THAT DIDN'T HAVE TIME FOR ME! (Of course, there are exceptions, especially when it comes to business, but it is still annoying as many are SET UP FOR THAT, never intending to answer a call when it comes in!
So, I don't know you, but this is one of my triggers & I wanted to share with you. Excuse the next comment, but "Screw the "NEW" etiquette" & whoever posted that, show me the reference for that!
Trendsetter, ASK FOR WHAT YOU NEED, knowing that others may not agree, but at least they know how you feel. Ask for what they need, too.
- Response by drdintn
, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Who Cares?