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He doesn't tell me ahead of time what his plans are
Sex & Intimacy / 12:29 AM - Saturday April 17, 2010

He doesn't tell me ahead of time what his plans are

I have been dating my boyfriend for over 4 months now, he has never been married, he is 36 yrs old and I am starting to wonder if he is too much set into 'single' life.

Yesterday I messaged him in the morning and asked him to let me know if he is coming over to my house or if he is busy. He never replied til 7:30 pm when he said his friend just called him and he is going to meet with him, so he won't be coming over. I said 'ok'.

This morning he calls me and says he misses me, etc. and we were supposed to get together tonight. Well I have not heard anything from him all night and I called him and he is not answering... not sure if he forgot his cell phone at work or what but I am getting annoyed at this... is it too much to ask of him to let me know if he comes over or not, because if I know ahead of time that he is not coming, I make plans for myself?


- Asked by wampa, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Calgary

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He is an "independent boyfriend" and while they are the best kind, they do expect you to be an "independent girlfriend"...

Go ahead and make plans for yourself, and then he will know how to fit into your world. By being completely open to whatever he wants, you are allowing him to dictate what happens and not needing to coordinate with your plans, because you don't have any!

- Response by siouxzen, A Creative, Female, Who Cares?, Los Angeles, Self-Employed

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I don't think that'd be too much to ask, no. Why should you be at home, waiting around, while he's out doing whatever it is he's doing?

- Response by fortminor123, An Alternative Girl, Female, 22-25

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why are you putting up with him?

i dont sit around and wait for any one.

if you call/ text him at 9am and he doesnt answer back with his plans /schedule by 2pm....make your own plans. i certainly wouldnt have waited around to hear back from him at 730pm.

but then again...i wouldnt be dating/calling a person my bf if he was this rude and inconsiderate id be fishing for a better one.



- Response by galdeen, A Creative, Female, 36-45, Administrative

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Well, some people never had a meaningful relationship with either sex. Just one good relationship would change that sort of behavior, because the ignorant tends to learn from the wise and prudent. You have to sit down at a coffee shop, and tell him how you feel about this. Let him know it's important that he communicates with you in advance. This is important for ANY relationships, but it's especially important for women for many reasons...

- Response by wmtell, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 29-35, Denver, Financial / Banking

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he is just Not That Into You..
if he were CRAZY about you,this would not be happening.

sorry, its the honest truth...

You are his "plan B"..


sounds like HE is your "plan A".

find a man who treats YOU as #1 also,

he's got you on a back burner, per se.

- Response by discotrash, A Career Woman, Female, 29-35, Las Vegas, Other Profession

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Being inconsiderate is not the best way to think about starting any meaningful relationship and I would tell him so!

- Response by heatherjune123, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, London, Who Cares?

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