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My newlywed husband of 4 months just admitted to me that he has cheated several times...
Sex & Intimacy / 5:11 AM - Wednesday April 14, 2010

My newlywed husband of 4 months just admitted to me that he has cheated several times...

We were married on December 19th. Today he comes home from work all upset wanting to tell me something. He says he has met a girl named Becca at a local restaurant and has been hanging out with her and smoking weed and texting. He said he feels bad and guilty and wanted to tell me so we can put it behind us.

His admission of this "attempting to cheat" made me start questioning whether he has ever actually cheated on me. After probing, he finally admitted to three counts. Once a few months after we started dating, another time about a month or so before we got married, and then in February.

These were three different girls, and what he actually admitted. I have a feeling there are more.

We have been together since last July. I found out in December that I was pregnant, and despite my own thoughts (I wanted to abort the pregnancy since it was not planned and an unexpected side effect of antibiotics I took after having the swine flu counteracted my birth control), I let him talk me into keeping the baby and that everything would be ok.

I feel disgusted, betrayed, and tremendously disappointed. I think I am going to have the marriage annuled (it obviously never meant anything to him anyways) but now I am 24 weeks pregnant with his child.

I don't know what to do. I love him, I don't want him to leave, but I know I would be an idiot to let him stay. I know in my mind and my heart that he will do this again. He has a problem, but I can't help him with it. I knew he had cheated on girlfriends in the past, which was a red flag, but he swore he wasn't that person any more and told me the kind of man he wanted to be. I gave him the chance and fresh start to be that man, but he took the opportunity, my trust, and my love and shoved it in my face.

What would you do in this situation? Been married for 4 months, together for 9, and now this. I am just so upset right now. I found this out around 6:30pm, have tried to sleep some because I have to work tomorrow, but it's 5am and I'm up and can't sleep thinking about all this.

- Asked by hollaback63, A Creative, Female, 29-35, Charlotte, Administrative

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He's not going to change.

You're left with a difficult choice: stay with him and accept that cheating will be repeated or leave with your child and try to improve your situation.

I know what I think I'd do, but I'm 23 and have never been married or pregnant and I can't therefore give a truly considered piece of advice.

I think deep down you know what to do though. Try taking some time out and away from your family home with friends or your parents to evaluate your options.

- Response by alex86, A Hippie Chick, Female, 26-28

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Meh it's hard to feel sorry for you. When you lie down with dogs, you get fleas. You should have better taste and judgement in men.

Now you're asking what to do? You divorce his cheating ass and don't rush into your next relationship because you think you found Prince Charming. You get a good divorce settlement, joint custody, and make him pay child support. I really don't feel sorry for you at all.

- Response by A Player, Male, 18-21, Other Profession

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Community Rating: Community Star

I'm sorry this is happening to you. But it doesn't sound like he is going to change. He just can't get it out of his system. It's unfortunate and it's up to you whether you want to give him one more chance due to your child. Counseling if you want to make it work and he has to be willin; otherwise, consider raising this child on your own and be happier.

- Response by hulagirl55, A Sportif, Female, Who Cares?, Who Cares?

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Some promises are as valuable as half a gallon of cold cats wee wee. His prommise has that worth. D

- Response by duggers, A Guy Critical, Male, 66 or older

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Some promises are as valuable as half a gallon of cold cats wee wee. His prommise has that worth. D

- Response by duggers, A Guy Critical, Male, 66 or older

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Leave him. It won't change, and you deserve much better.

And don't get married again so soon.



- Response by stumpedgirl, A Thinker, Female, 26-28, Administrative

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You didn't really know him - 9 months isn't long enough to decide your future. You knew he had done this before.. I am not here to judge, we all make mistakes.. better to end this marriage I think, neither of you were adult enough at the time - I can't see that counselling can make these 2 pieces of jigsaw fit.. you are young enough to cope with this and still be able to find happiness, tough as it will be for you and your child but I see no other way.. I feel for you, take care of yourelf - better to find this out now than years down the line.

- Response by heatherjune123, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, London, Who Cares?

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