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He wants to tie me up.
Sex & Intimacy / 5:26 PM - Monday April 12, 2010

He wants to tie me up.

That's fine with me. He's done it before. He'll come right home from the office, whip off his tie and wrap it around my wrists.

What I wonder is, would it be better to use leather belts or silk ties? You know, the kind that go around your neck. And is it harder to escape from a belt? And if I've got my gag in, isn't it impossible to use the safety word?

that could be a problem. What are some other ways to use safety words without actually talking. Say your hands are tied up and you're gagged too. What's a good way to say "okay wait. stop"??

- Asked by hannasu, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 26-28

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If you are gagged you have to make sure it's something that he will notice and can't be overlooked. For example, a sharp pinch might be better than a foot signal that he might not notice if he is preoccupied, although it's hard to pinch if your hands are bound, so you might have to resort to a kick, which is not exactly a subbie thing to do! I like bondage just fine, but will not wear a gag for that reason. Once I was playing in a field where the wind was blowing very hard and loudly, and the guy didn't hear me use a safe word, and it was a terrifying few minutes. So I always make sure I can be heard now. I have a bondage necklace that I can wear like a gag but can drop out of my mouth if I need to speak. It has the same look as a gag, but I control it. You can fashion this out of clear plastic tubing fit over a short necklace of your choice. I like it better over a cloth corded necklace which is softer and you can buy at a craft store.

- Response by abitspoiled, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Who Cares?

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Belts leave bruises. Silk ties (as a rule) do not. Do you want marks or not?

If you use a gag, you need a Safe Word Signal. Or special grunt, or whatever. Decide IN ADVANCE what that will be.

Even with someone you love, negotiate a Scene BEFORE you are incapacitated. If your partner doesn't honor your Safe Word, DO NOT PLAY. It's as simple as that.

- Response by buffalothighs88, A Hippie Chick, Female, 56-65, Other Profession

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There's nothing wrong with you that medication and intensive counseling won't cure.

- Response by A Rebel, Male, 46-55

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the bottom/submissive is gagged or handicapped from speech in some other way, a safe "gesture"

tap foot 3 times. 3 fingers in the air. cross your fingers.

something you both know and recognize.

my best friend is a submissive and wears a gag. she is a fountain of knowledge lol

- Response by galdeen, A Creative, Female, 36-45, Administrative

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mmm Bondage always a good thing. I say trust is a big key with bondage. You just need to make sure the boundrys are known before things go to far. because i see it hard for you do saw anything with your mouth gaged and unable to move with your hands tied. mmm

- Response by slsmith0, A Mr. Married Guy, Male, 29-35, Student

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Hold a marble above a metal pot. *CLANG* is the safety word of the gagged... :)

And... do you really have to be restrained in a way that you cannot escape? The restraints are not normally there to actually hold you down beyond your will... so anything will work.

- Response by An Intellectual Guy, Male, 29-35

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