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Active Questions

If you think your friends are swingers, How can you tell for sure?
Sex & Intimacy / 5:23 PM - Saturday April 03, 2010

If you think your friends are swingers, How can you tell for sure?

My wife and I are friends with this couple we know. In the last few weeks we have hung out more with them. They are a real nice couple but we are almost sure they are swingers. They both make off the wall comments about sex, orgies, and swinging. Don't get me wrong we find this very interesting. Actually me and my wife both have thought and talked about if they were, and agreed they would be a great couple to have fun with. We want to talk about it with them, but afraid if we bring it up, there a small chance that they are not swingers and they will think weird of us. So how can you tell for sure without asking if a couple are swingers.

- Asked by Male, 29-35

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This is very easy question to answer. Please allow me to assist.......ok, here's the plan: Invite said couple over for whore-do-vers...ok?.... .while y'all are a'chompin down, you just CASUALLY say to the woman of the couple, "Hey babe, how's about a blowjob?"....if she looks at you askance with a cocked head that portrays a sense of bewilderment and wonder, you can rest assured that: NO, you will NEVER 'lay pipe in THAT trench'...capice?'re very welcome, my friend. Star please.

- Response by nameacarl, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, Who Cares?, Oostende, Self-Employed

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Community Rating: Community Star

Invite them to a hot tub party and don't wear any suits......

- Response by iowaczechartist, A Thinker, Female, 46-55

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maybe ask them if they want to play some strip poker some night and see where it goes

- Response by bigcurt, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 56-65, Pittsburgh, Self-Employed

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Just ask them; sounds like they probably are though.

Jeez, isn't it sad that you're only in your mid-to-late-20's and your sex life is so boring already that you think other people fucking your wife is the solution?

- Response by helayna, A Cool Mom, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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What's wrong when their talking about it that either you or your wife casually say that you both have thought about it and didn't know exactly how to approach someone about it, or the next time your wife and you are out with them when the other couple or your wife has to use the ladies room she should ask the other women if she has to powder up her nose and then when they get into the bathroom it's easier for your wife just to cum right out and ask if they are swingers and you and your hubby wanted to do it with someone they felt comfortable with. Swingers like newbies because they're able to explore new territories. Now give me my star!!!!!!

- Response by flyinghawaiian56, A Guy Critical, Male, 56-65, Transportation

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We've been in the swinging lifestyle for 3 years. Sadly there are no secret handshakes, tattoos, or decoder rings that we all use to identify each other.

On the other hand I know that most swingers are very open and flirty but don't usually joke about swinging exactly, because they are afraid to give away their secret. Unfortunately all you can do is ask them. Make a comment about the number of partners you've had and segue into find out out theirs. Or reference a movie like "Swingers" (not actually about swinging)or Eyes Wide Shut (terrible portrayal of swinging.

Let us know if how it goes and if you have anymore questions.

- Response by thecardz, A Player, Male, 29-35

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Ask if they've ever met any swingers and suggest it's something you've heard lots about but are not sure what it would be like. That may open them up.

- Response by hnimsoc, A Creative, Male, 56-65, Celebrity

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It's actually really easy. Ask if they are part of the LS, if they are swingers they are going to know what that is and say yes. If not that will look at you like "no what's that", then just tell them is some literary society. Easy Pesy.

- Response by funcouple4u, A Trendsetter, Female, 29-35

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Have a couple glasses of wine with them and then have your wife ask the other wife. Sort of, in confidence-- "Have you and so-and-so ever tried fooling around with other people?"

- Response by anie01, A Thinker, Female, 26-28, Teaching

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sounds like they're trying to let you know they're into it already with their off wall comments. IDK next time just say something like, are you guys into those things?

- Response by girlpower08, A Sportif, Female, 36-45

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Tell them that you and your wife are interested in swinging, and ask if they know any swingers you can contact.

- Response by greenwind, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 56-65, Construction

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you know... the best way to find out is to ask them. why ask here? a direct question will get you a direct answer, no doubt about it.

asking directly is sort of like sex. do both instictually,
and enjoy what you get in return.

- Response by two469, An Alternative Girl, Female, 18-21, Seattle, Science / Engineering

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If I had friends that were comfortable enough to make off the wall comments, I'd probably take the risk of assuming that they would be comfortable enough for me to ask the question directly. You don't have to ask in a condescending manner, just ask if they have ever been into the lifestyle. If they say no or act offended, just repeat one of their previous comments and make light of it. I joke about those things but don't engage personally...however, I wouldn't take offense to a simple question. If you don't ask, you may never know. For all you know,they may be waiting on you guys to bring it up!

- Response by quantumeval, A Thinker, Female, 36-45

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if there is a swinger's club in your area and you know that it is one, you could ask them if they've ever heard of it and if so what they know about it. of course this could backfire if you're wrong about them and then they may think you are swingers.

- Response by divadancer2, An Alternative Girl, Female, 46-55, Other Profession

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I think they're feeling you out. (HaHa.)

- Response by 1texappeal, A Thinker, Female, 56-65

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My wife was convinced these friends of ours were swingers, I just said they were open about being able to talk and joke about it.

So we had them up to our lake house early last summer. We were watching a classic movie, and me and my wife decided to head to bed, they said there were going to watch the end of the film. Once in the bedroom my wife was all over me, she stripped me down and tied me up and gagged me. She then told me she was going to find out about our friends.

She left the bedroom door open so that from where I was I could hear everything as she went downstairs, flirted, made out and played with the wife and then had sex with the husband. I was going crazy stuck there hearing everything and not being able to see.

- Response by A Mr. Married Guy, Male, 36-45, Self-Employed

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Say, "Uh...'swinging'...what IS that exactly?"

...That's what I was gonna ask, but decided not to.

- Response by stillagoodguy1, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 56-65, Political / Government

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Most swingers are fat and over 50. That's a little pointer for you.

- Response by spongecake, A Rebel, Male, 29-35, Who Cares?

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