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My Adult Kid's Just do Not get It! They Treat me So Bad & I Myself am No getting it either
Family & Parenting / 11:08 PM - Tuesday March 30, 2010

My Adult Kid's Just do Not get It! They Treat me So Bad & I Myself am No getting it either

I will deal with My daughter First She is 23 married 3 years they have a perfect little girl 8 months old, They live with us trying to save for a home,However we do ask them to help around the house which they rarely do and pay $100. month for rent and $100. month for child care to me . If they had to place my grand daughter in Day care it would cost $120.00 a wk. We only ask for we Do need the money and we also want them to learn Life is not free.
Well They feel we are wrong! Also when i told my Daughter she has to stop waking me every morning to hold the baby while she makes a bottle or to take care of the baby so she can go back to bed for she is to tired .I told her this is the real world and I will not be here forever. My daughter said she should not have to pay me anything for she takes her daughter with her when she goes to the store or to a friends or doctor's appointment I said I am the sitter for work only! A Mom takes her child with her every place as I had to.
I was at first getting up with the baby every night, I was putting the baby to bed every night, I pretty much had the baby 24-7. When I realized My Grand daughter Only stops crying when i held her I knew I had to stop and make My Daughter take over before My Grand daughter started to think I was Mom. My Daughter and Son in-law feel her dad & I are so wrong for charging them money and for no longer tending to the baby when they are not at work. They never clean up, never, do a dish not even take out the trash, I tend to their dog, wash the baby clothes & bedding ,bottle's . The only thing they do is wash their own clothes. They do not even clean their own privet bathroom. I do for they leave it in such a mess I have to . I have begged asked pleaded for their help around the house yet they do not ! We feed them, Cook for them . I watch the baby 4-5 days a wk for 5-9 hours a day. What I am asking is $200. wrong of us to ask ? Our Income is only $2,100.00 a month..
I am 47yr old my husband 50 he has a sever heart condition I have a spinal condition that leaves me in pain 24 -7 . Them making feel guilty makes me feel sad and confused. Are we wrong?

- Asked by A Career Woman, Female, 46-55, Retired

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Honestly? As painful as this is going to sound... Throw their lazy using entitled out on the street and make them fend for themselves and their child in the real world...

Do not worry about not seeing your grand daughter, they will be back when they have learned their lessons...

- Response by siouxzen, A Career Woman, Female, Who Cares?, Guadalajara, Self-Employed

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oh my gosh I wish you would adopt me! My mom was not able to help us, and we have a lot of kids - my mother in law ( a nice lady - yes I mean it!) came and helped me from time to time, but we were on our own - your daughter is sooo spoiled and so lucky!!! I wish I had someone I could trust watching my kids when I worked - that first day of work with a stranger in my watching my new baby was awfull. I think you should charge them more! However, it does sound like the situation is too much for you and your husband - you should not be taking care of them so much too - You need to tell them that it's just too much, and you will watch the baby, but they need to find their own living accomodations. I think for your husbands sake, and financially you need to do it - don't worry, it will be for the best for them too. good luck

- Response by ruffian, A Sportif, Female, 36-45

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Don't feel guilty.
You're being so kinda and they're being very unappreciative!
If I were you, I'd tell them to find a place to you.
You raised her now she wants you to raise her kid?! NO way.
Its time to enjoy your life. Tell them to move out.

- Response by redblue4u, A Creative, Female, 26-28, Montreal

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Here's what wrong. You are enabling your daughter and her partner. You are the one doing all the work so that they can purchase a house. You are the one allowing for this to continue because you believe that blood should do this. STOP. You draw up a 30 day eviction notice naming your daughter and a seperate one for her boyfriend. You take it to a notary of republic before whom you sign it. She will stamp it as official. You copy these for your own records. You file another copy with the local sheriffs office as stated in the letter. And then you send the originals each in seperates envelopes, one address to the boyfriend...the other to your daughter...via certified mail. It MUST be sent certified mail because you will be brought receipts that they have signed for it and therefore received it which is sufficient notice in a court of law. You tell them they are to get out on their own accord by that 30th day or on that 3oth day the marshalls will come and forcibly remove them and then they will have only another short period of time to get their belongings out before you are free to dispose of them as you see fit....and let them know you will donate them to the salvation army.
It's called tough love. After a trip or two out the door and on their own they both might wake up to how ungrateful their behavior is.
You are asking very little.

- Response by joybird, A Career Woman, Female, Who Cares?, Who Cares?

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If I were you, I'd kick my ungrateful daughter out! I know the grandchild is of concern, but your daughter and he no good husband are going to "break" you and your husband if you don't do something and soon.

First, if they couldn't support themselves, they shouldn't have had a child. And saying it was an "accident" is not a valid excuse. Secondly, tell that no good son-in-law of yours and your ungrateful daughter that if they don't like the "RULES of YOUR HOUSE", they can move out!

It is YOUR HOUSE and I wouldn't let my ungrateful adult children treat me with the disrespect they have to you. Stop cooking and cleaning for them. Don't lift a damn finger for them. Put a lock on the inside of your bedroom door to keep her out overnight. What you ought to do is, get you and your husband ready to leave the house for a few hours from moment one of them comes home. Hand over the baby and out the door you go. And let them figure it out for themselves dinner and anything else they need to do that evening and getting ready for the next day. Do this for a week. And have the cupboards and refrigerator pretty much empty. Have a friend help in accomplishing this. It should send a strong message to the "ungratefuls" although if they are that selfish and self centered, it may not and eviction is your next option.

And since they established a "tenancy" there, you'd probably have to "evict" them via the legal process to prevent them from suing you. That is, unless they are too stoopid to ever take that route. It's time to stop with the "sad and confused" state of mind and get the "angry and disappointed" attitude where you are not going to stand for this kind of behavior anymore. There are consequences for this type of behavior and it is called eviction in this case.

- Response by msadvise, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Transportation

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You are being much more generous than I would be. They need to take more responsibility. Life is not a free ride. Tell them if they don't like your conditions, they can figure out some other arrangement. They should be willing to do the basic things. No you are not out of line. You are doing more than most people would do.

- Response by dreamdancer, A Creative, Female, 36-45, Houston, Other Profession

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This is a tough question and I don't know. I'm only surprised by the difference in attitudes these days. When I was a kid, my grandparents helped out a lot because that's what families did. Nowadays, most grandparents seem to feel the need to teach their kids a lesson rather than help them. I wonder what changed? I suspect that if many women knew how little aid they could count on from their parents they might not have kids.

- Response by jadeiris, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Managerial

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Time for them to move.
Period
You may feel guilty and to top it off youre selfish daughter will make you feel guilty.
But once the drama is over with I hope she will be able to look back on this and show a true appreciation for what you have done for her!


- Response by seasons4, A Sportif, Female, 46-55, Financial / Banking

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