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When my fiancee gets drunk, he ALWAYS tells me that he hates me... Should i be worried?
Dating / 1:52 AM - Monday March 29, 2010

When my fiancee gets drunk, he ALWAYS tells me that he hates me... Should i be worried?

Last night we were all out having a good time, in the beginning of the night he would talk so sweetly about me and tell me he loved me every 10 mins. My fiancee got hammered up, && by the peak of his drunk, he began to tell me that he hated me and meant it... I asked him why, and he couldn't answer me, but continued to say it to me for the rest of the night until he passed out. He also kept saying that i wasnt his girlfriend anymore and that he didnt want me... Should i be worried?

- Asked by mysslyss077, An Engaged Girl, Female, 22-25, Columbus, Lawyer

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Should you be worried? Only if you care.


- Response by randyl, A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?, Technical

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TRUE LOVE does not HURT.

- Response by iowaczechartist, A Thinker, Female, 46-55

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yes you should worry....right now its just talk but who knows what if he developed a drinking problem and became aggresive after you too were married?

- Response by melissabubble14, A Sportif, Female, 22-25, Edmonton, Medical / Dental

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If he is getting drunk enough for you to post a question about this, THAT should be your first concern.

Secondly, if he is abusive when he is drunk, it's time to tell him to stop drinking or you are hitting the road.

I certainly would not want to marry someone who abuses me. Do you have a little sister or younger cousin? How would you feel if you saw/heard HER boyfriend talking to HER like this? You'd freak wouldn't you?

So why put up with this yourself?

- Response by myndseye711, A Cool Mom, Female, 29-35, Managerial

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I would be worried if you stayed with a man like this. Your young,smart and don't need to be hooked up with someone who can't appreciate you or the qualities you possess.
Am I making a snap judgement, perhap, but if I were you I would step back for a moment, acess the situation and go from there.

- Response by shyguy63, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, Other Profession

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I am a firm believer of the saying "a drunk man speaks a sober mind!" You need to ditch the loser!

- Response by cailinrua, A Life of the Party, Female, 29-35, Sydney, Teaching

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I dunno? You're the lawyer...

- Response by fehkarfight, A Couch Potato, Male, 56-65, Who Cares?

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Worried? No. Gone? Yes. I see a million red flags waving.

- Response by abitspoiled, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Who Cares?

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If he gets like this when drunk, and he really does love you, then he would stop drinking altogether. TOTALLY.

I just got out of a relationship like this, and believe me, it gets worse. It gets physical.

And yes, he is abusing you.

You have to love yourself more than you love him (this should always be the case) and take the self-respecting step of leaving him.

- Response by stumpedgirl, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Administrative

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i'd be very worried, and running very far! obviously he can't hold his liquor! this can only get worse with time. they say you say what you really mean when your drunk and really upset! your young, other guys are out there, enjoy life, date, live, before you settle down!

- Response by ineedamiracle, A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?, Toronto, Who Cares?

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DO NOT MARRY THIS MAN! Unfortunately your fiance has a drinking problem, or has a problem when he drinks. In any case this hate and anger will more then likely turn into abuse over the years if he doesn't get this under control and I sure as hell wouldn't marry the man until he gets some help. Does he remember what he said in the morning? Actually it doesn't matter because more then likely he apologizes to you, tells you he loves you and then the next time he drinks does the same damn thing! Stop the madness now.

- Response by kdtxchic30, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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Should you be worried? HELL YES.

- Response by confusedincanada, A Hippie Chick, Female, 36-45

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no worries, its perfectly a clown costume at a funeral kind of way...

- Response by kramer, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, Who Cares?

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YES!!! First of all it sounds like he got way too intoxicated!!! And usually the truth comes out when ppl are drunk....but by how intoxicated he could have been something like you talking to another guy....I think you need to slow things down and maybe reconsider the whole marriage honestly!!!!!

- Response by christinfusion22, A Hippie Chick, Female, 29-35, Who Cares?

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I would think so. Having grown up with a drunk asshole "brother" who would say exactly how he felt about everyone when drunk and show it in his actions too...not that it was any new revelation.. I would be concerned about it. He's obviously too afraid to say what he really feels when he's sober, but I've seen more often than not that the truth comes out in drunks because they lose the fear and inhibitions holding them back and will say what they really feel.

- Response by richsifu, A Rebel, Male, 46-55, Science / Engineering

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Are you seriously asking this??? Really, if this is the type of man you want, then stay. What it means is that he's great as long as he's not drunk, so be prepared for the mean moments that come along with his drinking. If he tends to drink a lot, then I feel sorry for you. Have a little self respect, if he doesn't have respect for you, then you have it for yourself and consider the possibility of giving yourself a chance to meet someone that truly loves you.

- Response by A Creative, Female, 36-45, Dallas, Medical / Dental

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worried.....hell YES

- Response by dzeusmitch, A Player, Female, 26-28, Hospitality

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you should be very worried. alcohol removes the normal walls of social behavior giving you a glimpse of the person behind the mask

- Response by nitely1, A Hippie Chick, Female, 29-35

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