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I hate to be ignored. So if I call you and you do not answer...it bugs me. Am I over-reacting?
Friendship / 1:23 AM - Saturday March 27, 2010

I hate to be ignored. So if I call you and you do not answer...it bugs me. Am I over-reacting?

It really is bad if they do not call back at all....I do not like to call ppl bc of this reason.....they tell me to call and then they do not answer?!? WTF??

- Asked by christinfusion22, A Hippie Chick, Female, 29-35, Who Cares?

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I agree that ignoring someone is really rude and hurtful. I think I'd rather have someone argue with me than ignore me!

It's a pretty passive aggressive/controlling way of behaving and that drives me nuts.

- Response by mrscleaver16, A Married Girl, Female, 56-65

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Tell you what...I'll PM you my number, then I won't answer, HAHAHA!
Actually, I don't like it when people do that. I give it one try, and if they don't answer or call me back, I wave goodbye to their number as it swirls down the toilet...

- Response by awsum1, A Life of the Party, Male, Who Cares?, Chicago

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Some days I don't answer the phone - not because I wish to be disrespectful to anyone but my mind struggles to form words to communicate and it's hard for me to follow what people are saying and responding, in time and appropriately. Some days I tend to drift off and say something that they don't expect and they get a huff, so just don#t asnwer the phone.

I've heard the same is true for many other people on the autistic spectrum - we prefer to communicate via email and text where there's a clear rule who goes first and when the other responds and we have time to think about the answer and reply in our own time, but with telephone and in person it's difficult.

Maybe, some of your friends are like that and don't mean to be rude - they just struggle.

If it's not the case, it would be unacceptable and quite upsetting really

- Response by rubyrednotdead, A Creative, Female, 29-35, Who Cares?

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Maybe you call when it isn't handy to talk.
Maybe your being a pest? I don't know.

- Response by shyrich, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 46-55, Seattle, Other Profession

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Well, I never answer my phone. I have it on two rings and it goes to voice mail. I then screen WHEN I AM IN THE MOOD TO TALK and only THEN, do I return calls.

- Response by randyl, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Los Angeles, Technical

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man
people have lives and it doesn't alway include picking up the phone to hear ur HOTY AIR
You sound real needy

- Response by tpass419, A Creative, Male, 46-55, Alternative Medicine

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people have lives !!
that means they don't always want to pick up the phone to hear your HOT Air
I recommend the book silent power
Best wishes

- Response by tpass419, A Creative, Male, 46-55, Alternative Medicine

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TBH cell phones are kind of a p.i.t.a. Before cells we could go to the store and check our answering machine when we got home. Now everyone expects for you to be at their beckon call. If I'm indisposed or not in the mood to talk I don't pick up unless it's my girls' school calling because then it's an emergency.

The not calling back thing is a whole different story. I give a day or 2 then just give up on them.

- Response by tessiewessie22, A Cool Mom, Female, 29-35, Celebrity

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My favorite are the people who lose a screw if they call and you do not answer, so they call over and over, never leave a message (so I don't know if it's an emergency or if they are just playing with me), and eventually say something like: well "I guess you are lost," or "you must be out of the country," or "I do not know why we can't reach each other....." but if YOU try to call and THEY don't answer, it is no big deal for them to NOT answer....

They do not see what the big fuss is all about...!!

~~~sigh~~~

Stupid telephone double standard....LOL

- Response by iowaczechartist, A Thinker, Female, 36-45

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Possibly, b/c i get so many telemarkets, all the ringers stay cut off except foe one downstairs. but i check caller I D and voice mail asap, when I come home or miss a call. and I always return calls from friends and family. and yes, I would return your call.:)

- Response by dreamspinner, A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?, Chicago

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It is rude if they don't call you back and don't have a good reason for it.Not every one is like that, just change friends or know people who know how to use a phone

- Response by electroman, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 46-55, Seattle, Science / Engineering

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I'm a person who doesn't answer and ignores most people who call me. I hate phones and probably have a phone phobia because they interrupt life so much. I am interrupted by a ringing phone while working, while reading to my kids, while eating dinner, while sleeping, while taking a bath, during intimate moments, etc. So I never answer the phone anymore. I screen all calls and call back the urgent ones (school, doctor, kids, elderly parents with a problem.) I do not call back my old friends who used to regularly keep me on the phone for hours on end and never stopped talking long enough to make sure I was still on the line. I have several friends like that, and if I let them, they would take up every minute of my spare and not so spare time. I tell them to use email where I can respond at leisure. I work from a home office and friends assume that means I don't have a real job just because I don't have to commute. I don't call anyone unless it's important and I keep it brief. I go into more detail in email because it's not a disruption like a shrilling phone. And I only use my cell phone for vehicle emergencies unlike my 17 year old who seems to have it permanently attached to his body and can't breathe without it. I could live happily without a phone and just rely on email.

- Response by abitspoiled, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Who Cares?

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i dont think your over-reacting, i learned to adjust with people like you my boss and husband is like that... quite demanding =)...

- Response by tornanddevastated, A Married Girl, Female, 29-35, Technical

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You will get used to it.Some times they are just not home.Or where they can answer.

- Response by frenchkiss49, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Tampa, Who Cares?

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I get a bit crabby when I don't get an answer when I call but I have to remind myself; people have phones for their own convenience not mine so if it's inconvient for them to answer then I'll call back.

- Response by bigdog52, A Father Figure, Male, 56-65, Oklahoma City, Science / Engineering

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im the exact same way!

- Response by unbreakablesilence, A Married Girl, Female, 29-35, Medical / Dental

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I've had the same thing happen to me, and I've also been on the other end - where our phone will ring and ring (and eventually go to voicemail), with a call I've been expecting, but there are times when I'm either in the bathroom taking a shower, outside for a couple minutes checking my mailbox, upstairs doing something, and for some reason don't hear the phone upstairs... However, there is one time we do not answer the phone and that's when we're eating dinner, as we just don't like to be disturbed, especially by telemarketers. I must say, though, that there are people that don't answer their phone, no matter what, even if they are expecting a call - just like my brother - he never answers. He lets it go to voicemail and calls me back - on his time. It can get frustrating!

- Response by suzyscorp, A Trendsetter, Female, 46-55, Who Cares?

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dios a mio, there is NOTHING more infuriating than being ignored! i hate that shit!... at least get back w/ someone if you can't answer right away. yow-mean! ;-) which, apparently you do! ;-) ... p.s.... i'd return your calls... :-P

- Response by dudemcguy, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 36-45, Detroit, Student

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I don't think you should automatically assume that you're being ignored. There could be many things that make people unreachable. It's ok to be bugged by it, but don't let it show.

- Response by poolfish2, A Career Man, Male, 66 or older, Who Cares?

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If you call me and I don't answer then know there is a reason. If you are a friend of mine you will already know about what it going on with me and know about when to call to catch me. IF you're my friend you know I will call you back as soon as I get a chance. If you are not my friend and just want to sell me something don't bother. Likewise if you're calling for donations for something. I do my own charitable stuff and won't do it over the phone because someone called and bothered me. I figure you're talking about just friends calling and if they don't answer then you can assume they're busy and can't talk. IF they never call you back then they aren't your friends and you aren't losing anything by never contacting them again. If I really want to talk to one of myf riends and they don't answer the home phone I call the cell or text and ask them what's up.

- Response by tootcat, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Retired

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Generally I have my phone on vibrate all the time since I'm working more often than not. If it's that important, leave a message, that's why I have voicemail and I'll call you back. Now, if I tell someone to call me and I know they'll do it when they're not just bored and have nothing to do then I may answer.

- Response by lioness21, A Player, Female, 29-35, Consulting

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You have my ear, Christin, and I hear your anger, frustration and hating to be ignored. All I can offer is for you to consider that you not add the thought that you are over-reacting because that may simply add shame, more anger and the feeling of unworthiness to the mix. When someone tells you to call and they don't answer, its not about you, Christin, so my want for you is that you don't take it as a personal affront of who you are. Does that make any sense?

- Response by wiserman, A Creative, Female, 46-55, Who Cares?

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Ah, cell phones. Gotta love them.

I love that if when someone calls when I can't talk (I'm at work, I'm talking to someone else, on the phone or actually in person), they can leave a message. I'll call back when I can.

I won't answer in traffic, so leave a message. I'll call back when it's safe.

If I don't call back, call me in a couple of days. I like knowing someone cares that if something happened to me, they'd at least check on me.

Sometimes, I'm busy. So email, too. I will get back.

The important people in my life are dialed into my phone already, so I know who's calling. Sometimes I just dial back a missed call without going to a message first. Sometimes the phone's not on me, if I don't hear it, I dial back the missed call.

I don't answer calls that are "Unavailable", or numbers I don't know. Those people have to leave messages and I'll call back the ones I want.

The beauty of screening calls. I will not talk to telemarketers any more, because they no longer have control over my life this way.

If I don't like you, I won't call you back. If I do, it will be brief, and on my schedule, because you affect my life in some way. Most people get a clue. Men are like this, time for women to learn how to use their phones, too. Sometimes it mean NOT using them. That is to the point, isn't it?

Love the cell phone.


- Response by naiveladyquestions, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Other Profession

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it's always possible that whoever you're calling isn't right by the phone, is in the bathroom, has a dead phone, an off phone, or is simply someplace where they can't answer or where it would be rude to answer. Actually, this just happened to me, earlier today - I called a friend of mine, and even though she'd answered texts just a few minutes prior, she didn't answer. It turned out she'd gone upstairs and left her phone downstairs and never heard it ring. So you're not necessarily being ignored. As for not calling back, it's a little rude, but they may not remember that you called, may not have gotten a voicemail or a missed call message from you, or something like that. A good friend of mine has trouble with her cell service and doesn't get text messages sometimes until a couple days later. Try to give people the benefit of the doubt.

- Response by 23rosess, A Hippie Chick, Female, 29-35, Medical / Dental

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I was in the potty, sorry lololol

- Response by hotair, A Father Figure, Male, 66 or older, New Orleans, Transportation

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That's just plain rude.

- Response by stoney07, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 66 or older, Who Cares?

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No, sometimes people aren't phone people.. Have to understand this person may have a hectice schedule and a very bad memory.. I get phone calls all the time but forget 2 call back.. Jus when u call leave a text message with it letting him kno u called. If he's doesn't call back after a few incidents jus refrain from calling... If he asks why jus explain without goin off.

- Response by mrnoitall, A Jock, Male, 26-28, Student

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ha ha...Chill..... Thats a lil bit of Over reacting.... But if they ignore you..... take em out!

- Response by boxer1, A Guy Critical, Male, 36-45, Self-Employed

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Sorry, Ms. Pickle, I didn't know you were so sour! Haha! I don't have people calling me if I don't want to talk to them in the first place. I don't want to waste their time and more, mine. Unless, my legs are broken or I've expired, you'll get a joyful and resounding HELLO! outta me. I hate when people dont get back in touch. I don't like to be on anyone's pay no mind list. As for you, chin up. Smiles.

- Response by mortaune, A Guy Critical, Male, 29-35, Student

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If they are definitely ignoring you then yes that's rude.However in some cases like if they have a land line, they could not be home to get the call or sleeping, in the middle of business, or in the shower/bathroom etc depending on when you call. If they have a cell it's pretty obvious they are ignoring but like with me, I have land line and my caller ID is screwed up so if I miss a call I can't call back until I either get another phone or they call me again.

- Response by staceym2112, A Cool Mom, Female, 26-28, Medical / Dental

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Most all women hate to be ignored, what else is new. If you call once and they don't answer, leave a message and they don't get back to you once... no biggie.. or is SHOULDN'T be at least. If it happens more often than not, then that would be cause to start getting annoyed.

Overall I'd say your over reacting most of the time.

- Response by richsifu, A Rebel, Male, 46-55, Science / Engineering

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Same here... and I am feeling the same right now. What the hell with them. It makes me so mad!!!

- Response by lovehim1234, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Indianapolis, Retail

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Ugh, no but most men think so. I have a problem with one individual who takes forever to get back to me. He does it to his friends too and I ignore it but still it's a pain in the ass when it comes to last minute plans.


I just teach him a lesson, and thats what he gets if I am busy. He is cool with it though, but still PAIN IN THE GOSH DAMN ASS....

- Response by ashmcawesome, An Alternative Girl, Female, 29-35

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I think it's rude, even if they don't reply a text, then they try text you 2weeks later and expect you to be there for them .....???? Oh when you call some one then they text you after 2weeks , I'm sure they could have done that earlier. Sometimes I just end up ignoring those kind of people cause they are selfish. They expect you to be there for them when they need someone but when you need them they aren't there then 2weeks later you feel likeits aready too late what do you want now....

- Response by musical85, A Career Woman, Female, 29-35, Student

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I understand both sides of the coin. As for me, I hate phones with a passion. I mean... I HATE phones of any kind. Sometimes I like to communicate, and sometimes I like to be "in the batcave" and need just quiet times... Mostly because of my job being so demanding. Now at work... I want the phones answered by a person every time and always fast calling back if we could not get to it. But it is in imperfect world and as such we must live with some imperfections. I'd say just loosen up and don't sweat the small stuff... in the end it just is not worth the aggravations or frustration.

- Response by timeforanoverhaul, A Father Figure, Male, 36-45, Managerial

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well you need to find something to do I guess. Seems like maybe you pressure them into hanging out or something so they're just being polite when they tell you to call..then they dodge your call. Maybe try getting a hobby and stop being needy because people can sense that and it annoys them.

- Response by luckyinkentucky, A Cool Mom, Female, 29-35, Who Cares?

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I don't see why I HAVE to answer the phone when it rings. Seriously! Someone wants ot talk to me, ok. So what? Doesn't mean that I can talk to them at that point, that I want to or whatever. You assume that people will stop anything they are doing to answer you. Get over yourself. Lots of people have better things to do than answer the phone.

I for one don't always look at it more than once or twice daily. So if it rang while I was in the cellar or at work or with my hands in paint or whatever, well... too bad.

Normally, I try to call back, but I have to say I don't always do, because face it, life it busy and sometimes I forget. I always figure, if they REALLY want to talk to me, they'll call again.

So get over it, it's not because they're ignoring you, but because they don't have the time or have something else they're busy with. I'm not tied to my phone.

- Response by A Career Woman, Female, 29-35, Student

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I don't quite understand people who act like I must talk to them if they call me. Its my cell phone, I can answer if I want and call back when I get ready. Why do people act like I must answer to their every call? I don't think its rude because again, its MY cell phone.
I especially hate it when people sit back and call me over and over. My cell phone isn't for them, it is simply for me. I decide who I want to talk to; I pay the bill, not them.



- Response by bts4life20, A Trendsetter, Female, 26-28, Self-Employed

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If they call me back within the day, that's ok.

What I hate is when I miss a call (didn't get to the phone fast enough), then immediately call back, but they don't answer. Where did they go in those 5 seconds???

- Response by howjm, A Guy Critical, Male, 29-35, Managerial

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NO ,IT DRIVE ME NUTS TOO. LOL

- Response by misdestar, A Creative, Female, 29-35, Self-Employed

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cut people off...some folks are like that, but when they are calling you, they expect you to answer the phone...ignore them*

- Response by osieboo, A Thinker, Female, 56-65

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yup you are over reacting. I wont be telling you to call me.
you can call and I might answer. it depends on what I am doing at the time and who I am with if any one. the thing is I pay my phone bill...not you. So I will be answering it when I feel like it. I have to tell you that it is just too bad if you dont like it...because I am not changing my position.

- Response by sirkermittsg, A Guy Critical, Male, 36-45, Dallas, Transportation

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I myself think its very disrespectful, especially if its a friend on the level mine is, I always answer or reply to his texts no matter what and I only expect the same in return. If I text him and he is busy all he has to do is take a few seconds to tell me he is busy and he will holla later. But its very hurtful and direpectful to me. He ignored me an entire 7 day week a few weeks back, after the third time I got the hint, he didnt wanna be bothered by me he was busy with his "real" friends. Im the friend who always has his back and will drop everything to be there for him including a 1100 mile round trip drive to get him and bring him home but yet he treats me like he does.

- Response by breezyfan, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 36-45, Artist / Musician / Writer

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You never know, they may be busy or unable to answer the phone.
If it is something that happens between you and the same person all the time, then you may be ignored. Although it could just be your timing of your calls.
Dont take it personally. The other person may be busy, not wanting to talk, or even dislike talking on the phone or calling people back

- Response by careyprice31, A Sportif, Female, 22-25

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