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Do you tell the wife the details of her cheating husband if you are the "other woman"?
Married Life / 4:27 PM - Wednesday March 24, 2010

Do you tell the wife the details of her cheating husband if you are the "other woman"?

She knows he is not truthful and does not trust him. She text the "other woman" and asked why was the number text so much by her husband and also stated "just to let you know - you are not the only one" She asked for details....should the "other woman" give her details and proof? They separated a month ago and the husband is now trying to beg wife back, pleading that what she does know "other woman" off of facebook, he deleted his dating website, etc... Please answer whether to show her proof or not?....

- Asked by Female, 36-45

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No. Stay out of it.

- Response by myndseye711, A Cool Mom, Female, 29-35

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Show it to her...she needs to know the truth since her good for nothing husband won't tell her.....you could save this woman years of unhappiness...GL!

- Response by christinfusion22, A Hippie Chick, Female, 29-35, Who Cares?

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She might be wanting the information to use for a divorce proceeding, but I think in most states now it is no-fault divorce and the infidelity is not grounds anymore. It is completely up to you whether you tell her or not. Personally I would not get involved in passing tales to her. If she knows he cheats, she ought to be able to figure it out herself.

- Response by dreamdancer, A Creative, Female, 36-45, Houston, Other Profession

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Husband and wife should arrange their own problems. If the other woman, the lover, texts or calls, she is only showing the cheap kind of person she is, which can make the wife feel better ( in a way).

- Response by sailormoon, A Creative, Female, 36-45, Other Profession

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I think it is bad enough she did a married guy so she should stop at that

- Response by bigcurt, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 56-65, Pittsburgh, Self-Employed

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If she asks, tell the truth. Don't tell lies to make the situation worse, hoping that it will bring the marriage to an end so that you can be with the deceitful liar.

Tell the truth. If she asks. It's the only decent thing to do.

- Response by lovesglow, Female, 36-45, Self-Employed

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As a woman whose husband cheated on her, I wish the other woman would be truthful with me. You start to feel like you are going crazy. Everyone covers it up for my husband and I know that he cheats but everyone acts like he doesn't. Even his girlfriend covers up for him. "The truth shall set you free" pertains to the wife knowing the truth and also to you as the other woman. I think that it takes more strength to tell the wife the truth than it does to cover it up. If it comes with an apology, it is a priceless gift and allows you, the wife, to know that you aren't imagining things and that you aren't over reacting. You can then move forward instead of being stuck in this place of pain, suspicion and denial. I would respect my husbands' mistress and try to see things from her perspective. After all we have shared more with each other than we have shared with most people. We can learn a lot from each other and the experience that has occurred. Growth can result for everyone.

- Response by A Sweet Sarah, Female, 56-65

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The truth is, ur just about in the same boat as she. What she is enduring is HELL! She is hearing lies upon lies from the MAN SHE TRUSTED and in her pain and desperation, she is reaching out to the ONE PERSON SHE WISHED DIDN'T EXIST to access the TRUTH! Ultimately, giving it to her will help to bring CLOSURE on BOTH SIDES!!! After all, NOT knowing is much more torturous than knowing everything.

Good Luck. ;-D

- Response by bluuenova, Female, 29-35, Teaching

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I would show her, she has a right to know,I would want to know...

- Response by brown5, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Financial / Banking

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In all honesty, if I were in the shoes to show proof, I probably wouldn't because I would probably end up being the one who was 'blamed' for breaking the relationship up and if the wife isn't believing what she is hearing from others, why would she believe it from this person...sometimes it's hard to really know what to do in a situation like this because you feel that it's the wife's right to know but if she 'suspected' before and hasn't done anything, telling her could/might only cause problems for the person who does show her proof...JMO...:D

- Response by fastball, A Cool Mom, Female, 36-45, Edmonton, Self-Employed

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I wouldn't say anything. It it between them two. Even if there was someone else. She obviously doesn't need details, she's already aware that he is not truthful, she may not want to see things for what they are.

- Response by A Creative, Female, 36-45, Dallas, Medical / Dental

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I told his wife what was going on. ..then realized that my horrible cruelty was going to kill ME. I am not sure I would change anything....but she deserved to know what he was doing. Now she kicked him out I realize that I do not even want a man who would cheat on his wife. Sweet irony.

- Response by nightnurse06, A Cool Mom, Female, 46-55, Medical / Dental

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I told his wife what was going on. ..then realized that my horrible cruelty was going to kill ME. I am not sure I would change anything....but she deserved to know what he was doing. Now she kicked him out I realize that I do not even want a man who would cheat on his wife. Sweet irony.

- Response by nightnurse06, A Cool Mom, Female, 46-55, Medical / Dental

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Show her the truth....

- Response by thekissbandit, A Thinker, Female, 29-35

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After reading that thing yesterday where the wife sued the mistris and one 6 million dollars....I wouldn't be showing shit....

- Response by lab01, A Father Figure, Male, 46-55, St.Louis, Other Profession

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My vote is 'No'. Do not tell the wife of your former lover any information. Do not contact her. Do not respond to her. Ignore her.



- Response by A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Managerial

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I understand you got yourself knocked up by a married man but this gives you no right to further cause havoc on their marriage. You have done enough by your actions and to be honest are better off keeping your mouth shut. I guess you have never seen the wrath of a scorned wife have you? You are better off leaving this one alone unless you are just wanting more drama in your life. Take it from me I made the other woman's life a living hell and in the end divorced my husband anyways!

- Response by kdtxchic30, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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What if you were the other woman?
Why would you want her to know?

- Response by flwoodpecker, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 36-45, Other Profession

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if you like having sex while the kids are in their rooms...do it.
why be a prude.


- Response by flwoodpecker, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 36-45, Other Profession

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Honey, what goes around, comes around. Why would you want a cheat and liar. Unless, you have a sick self image ?

- Response by helencookssometimes, Female, 56-65, Baltimore, Executive

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Did you hear about that woman who just won a $9 million settlement from the "other woman" for breaking up the marriage?

If you're the "other woman" in this story, I'd check to see if there are alienation of affection laws on the books in your state. If there are, I'd suggest you be real quiet.

- Response by pandorasfault, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Teaching

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a woman scorned will murderize you.
why do you want her to know.

- Response by amandasboy, A Father Figure, Male, Who Cares?, Other Profession

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