Why are so many women weak and stuck-on-stupid when it comes to men?

Self-esteem always comes from somewhere. And it is usaully shaped since you have been a child, so a lof of influence is comming from your parents, the way your father (as a man) let you relate to himself and the way you used to relate yourself to him. This is actually my situation I can say, and this is what I am just learning now. My father was never emotionally available and I remember trying my best to make him give me some attention, which would reward me and give me a feeling of SELF-WORTH. So women like that learn to validate themselfs through relationships, and keep repeating the pattern from the past until they are conciously aware of that and then have the power to change it. So yes, it comes to self-esteem, it comes down to self awareness and recognising what is behind my way of relating to others.
I belive you might have been lucky then, having a happy and healthy childhood, healthy relationship with your parents. Some unfortunately are not that lucky, and I guess the situation would be getting even worse as the amount of divorces and relationship issues are increasing so much. So the number of people comming from disfunctional families is rasing...
I guess we need to all start looking after ourself first, before we can really learn to love others.

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That's pretty scary, I agree. I think in general people (men and women) tend to have low self-esteem. Some think that unless you're in a relationship, there's something wrong with you.

I wish people would find happiness within themselves and not hinge their self-worth on what others think of them or who they're with.

This is especially upsetting to hear from young women .. I thought things had changed since I was younger. But it looks like many young women today (with all the opportunities available to women now) -- are still obsessed with having a man in their life. AND seem to put their own feelings aside in order to keep them.

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I often wonder the same thing, and agree with you! I lose interest in a man instantly if he doesn't treat me well. Many of my friends seem to be turned on by that, and go after the guy more if he mistreats them or lacks interest in them. I don't get it at all.

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Mat Boggs - Crack the man code and find everlasting love.

I listened to an interview with Mat Boggs and he spoke of some


natural chemistry that goes on between a man and a woman.

And one thing that I found interesting was the woman when they

are attracted to the males pherimones become addicted to the

male.. The addiction is that pain the feel when the relationship

ends even if they ended it they are experiencing that addiction

to the male and it last's for two years....He offered a lot of

information based on scientific research that explains this

"weekness in woman"

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I'm divided on this. After all, I've seen plenty of attractive women who have enormous self-esteem. They let guys take them out, pay for their social life and then dump or reject them as soon as they get bored. Most girls that I know or have dated will break up with a guy if he so much as scratches his nose, and they'll reject most guys who come their way.

In this day and age, women are not dependent on men and have the freedom (for the most part) to choose their own mates. The way I see it, if a woman chooses to stay with a bad guy, it's her own choice. Maybe she wants to be abused, maybe it's something else. But low self-esteem? If you're a hot woman, you get validated all the time and can get anything you want.

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Yes, there are alot of us women who have low self esteem. I thought that I did but, I realize that, when I look in the mirror, I like what I see. I don't think I'm "perfect" and I want to go down 2 sizes but, I don't understand why a good looking man wouldn't find me attractive. But...you know what? If they seem to find me attractive it's ONLY for "one thing" and THE ONLY MEN who seem to want an actual relationship w/ me are the ones that I, unfortunately, DO NOT find attractive in any way. (and trust me, I've never wanted "perfect pretty boys") That type of thing starts to make me feel that the only reason a man would want to be w/ me is because I was the absolute last resort. Then...(and I know you girls know what I'm talking about) you end up seeing one of the men that you were attracted to, whom wouldn't give you the time of day, w/ a woman who is NOT more attractive than you. Or you see the same man w/ a woman who is so smokin' hot that she should be in a swimsuit mag. When you go thru that over and over, you tend to wonder and think that there is obviously something wrong w/ your looks. Those men never got to know you at all so, it's not about your personality. That lack of self worth that you feel usually doesn't have to do w/ home life and parental teachings etc. It's straight from the "life lessons" that you learn from your experiences. Those feelings are not healthy but, when it seems like it's so obvious that it's like 1+1=2, well...you tend to believe it. Thankfully, it has never caused me to hold onto an abusive or malfunctioning relationship though. Holding on to those unhealthy relationships would probably be the part of this topic that can be due to what you witnessed on an every day basis at home while growing up. You see alot of moms that stayed in abusive relationships that have daughters that do the same. That also goes for the fathers who were abusive and have sons who do the same or the fathers who never stood up for themselves to the bossy wives whom have sons who do the same. When it comes to "why women want their partner to like them" well...I have to agree w/ "brighteyed". It, most of the time is alot harder for men to truly understand the giving, caring and nurturing part of a woman. Alot of the times, we want to know that we are "liked" not to boost our self worth but, to have the satisfaction of fulfilling the wants and needs of the person we love. Women want to know if there is anything that they can do better to make their loved one happy and content. Men seem to usually not care. They think of it more so like "if you don't like it, then oh well cuz I'm not changing" They think of it as more of an attack rather than realizing that both sides have to make compromises and meet in the middle for a healthy relationship. Men are more worried about their own needs and not the happiness of the woman so, they can easily leave relationships over and over again. Trust me...women aren't weaker than men, they have different priorities. Unfortunately, the priorities that women have in a relationship can tend to push their needs to the side. Women have to learn that since the men are not naturally programmed to say to the woman "hey, your doin' way too much to make me happy so, why don't WE focus on you for now" they will have to be able to assess everything and know when they themselves need to be the one whom is made happy by their "man".

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I am a very strong, independent and kind woman. I get so discouraged trying to make female friends. They all seem so pathetic to me. They only care about having a man, and somehow seem that having one is some sort of badge of honor. They are SO very NOT interesting. I wish I could meet more interesting and worldly women for friendship, but there are hardly any out there.

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very clueless, obviously.

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There are just as many weak-minded men, unfortunately. I don't get it in either gender. You have one life. Why waste it?

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I don't think it's that women necessarily have low self-esteem (though yes, some do), it's that it MATTERS to us what our men think of us. If I'm with someone, I want him to honestly think I'm awesome! It's all well and good that I think of myself as awesome, but it matters to me, and I think it matters to all women, that their partners think so too. If a man puts up a front that he doesn't care what his woman thinks of him, then he either doesn't care about her or he's hiding the truth.

So I think it goes both ways in a relationship where both partners really do care for one another. We want the other person to think highly of us; of course we do. And I don't think it has to mean we have low self-esteem just because we want to hear how awesome the other person thinks we are. Hehe. That's love!

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