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My husbands adult sister sat on his lap in front of me, this was not only disrespectful it was weird
Family & Parenting / 1:53 PM - Friday March 19, 2010

My husbands adult sister sat on his lap in front of me, this was not only disrespectful it was weird

What do you think about this, I know she did it to start confusion. I did not say anything while she was present. I waited until she left, how ever she accomplished what she sat out to do, start mess between me and her brother.

- Asked by sha3388, A Thinker, Female, 36-45

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so if you know she was doing it to get to you, and you let it.. isn't that kind of dumb? just ignore her.

- Response by weekendbrew, A Jock, Male, 29-35, Miami, Technical

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Community Rating: Community Star

It's weird and gross, but what do you expect him to do? It's his SISTER, not one of your friends. It's not like she's trying to get in his pants. Just let it go.

- Response by myndseye711, A Cool Mom, Female, 29-35

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Then you let her control the situation, and you. You yourself said that she accomplished her mission.

- Response by seductivepisces9, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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So what. What is your malfunction? You sound like a nut.

- Response by clueless37, An Alternative Girl, Female, 46-55, Celebrity

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I have a sister, and that's weird. What's weirder is you thinking beyond that.

- Response by thecorrectanswer, A Guy Critical, Male, 36-45, Toronto

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Next time let her set in your lap.....

- Response by lab01, A Father Figure, Male, 46-55, St.Louis, Other Profession

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Only weird if they were not wearing any pants at the time.

You let her accomplish her mission by getting upset.

- Response by A Creative, Male, 29-35

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Whoa, now this sort of thing boggles my mind for sure. I mean it is one thing if it is a younger sibling with a big brother and they are kids. But to have everyone be like in their 30's or something and the sister is playing these sort of games with her brother and he allows it. That would seriously make me think their family has no boundaries whatsoever. As for it being disrespectful to you, I can't really say it was really disrespectful more likely highly disturbing and something that would make me question how "close" of siblings they really are. Cause no adult siblings should ever park their behind in each other's laps. Laps are intimate territory and not meant for every and anyone.

- Response by CursedRomantic, A Thinker, Female, 26-28, Columbus, Student

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Yes. I think you are being weird and rude.

- Response by greenwind, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 56-65, Construction

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There is nothing for a sister to show her affection to his brother. It is not weird, they are family. Please grow up.

- Response by int24h, A Career Man, Male, 36-45, Alternative Medicine

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I do not think anyone could ever break the bond between me and my sister so every female I have ever been with would never even think of trying

- Response by bigcurt, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 56-65, Pittsburgh, Self-Employed

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i sat on my brothers lap, but only to fart on him. lol

- Response by misdestar, A Creative, Female, 36-45, Self-Employed

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Nothing wrong with that. Why would it get to you ? Let it go.

- Response by helencookssometimes, Female, 56-65, Baltimore, Executive

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My God.. Most of you women live in a world of total Jealousy, ASS-umption and delusion!! You "KNOW"..yeah.. how do you "KNOW".. is that because you women THINK your all "psychic, Intuitive" and that your feelings tell you the truth "100%" of the time??? Please...feelings and emotions LIE most of the time, NOT tell the truth..and you think that other women are always doing those things because since YOU live in a state of total jealousy all the time then that much mean OTHER women do to. That is the case a lot of the time, but to varying degrees.

It's also a FACT that when done without any evidence...and feelings, emotions and ASS-umptions DON'T count as "evidence" as you women love to believe... and you accuse someone else of something out of the blue, your only accusing THEM of what YOUR guilty OF!!!.

This fact is SO universally accurate and true, something that I discovered myself decades ago and have never seen it fail yet... that you can bank on it!! It's no different than someone who admits their own guilt through denying something too fast when faced with a question about their behavior. It's SO automatic and unconscious that unless you have long training to counter it, people incriminate themselves ALL the time because guilt is a HUGELY powerful motivator.

Whether you have a brother and would like to sit on his lap or not doesn't matter as much as what your ridiculous accusations are revealing about what's going on in your own mind! Usually it means that YOU have done something that your guilty of and thus, projecting this onto the sister, or you have serious insecurity and jealousy issues and are looking for a reason to start trouble. I've dated several women like that over the years and they're impossible to have any relationship with because it's one perpetual ridiculous fight and argument after another and you only come off convincing your bf or husband that your NUTS!!!

- Response by richsifu, A Rebel, Male, 46-55, Science / Engineering

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I just trying to figure out whats your problem for god sake, ITS HIS SISTER. or is the problem deeper with you?

- Response by hotair, A Father Figure, Male, 66 or older, New Orleans, Transportation

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It's probably how they would show love in the family, but I agree that it is somewhat odd now as adults, if they are not incriminating themselves to something past.

There needs to be some adjustments. Talk to your husband and he should be able to nudge his sis into not doing it ever again.

All the best!

- Response by delacreme, A Creative, Female, 36-45

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Of course its weird! Sounds like there may be some tension between you and the sister, and if so, this is her way of showing you who the alpha female is ... and it ain't you. your best response is to wind your neck in and ignore her.

- Response by hermionecar17, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Los Angeles

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That is gross, maybe they have incest when they were young?

- Response by pazl, A Jock, Male, 22-25

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I always sat in my dad's lap and my brother's lap, and we didn't find it weird. Didn't mean anything unseemly was going on. She knew it would cause a reaction in you, so that was at least part of the reason she did it. Now that it worked she will do it again. I would just ignore it and not make an issue of it, and then she will probably pick something else to set you off. Sounds like she is jealous of sharing her brother with you. But that doesn't mean sitting in his lap meant anything.

- Response by dreamdancer, A Creative, Female, 36-45, Houston, Other Profession

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that shouldnt be a problem. there brother and sister. i have grown kids that do that. its normal in my eyes.

- Response by campy1, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 56-65, Retail

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I noticed you didnt give anyone a star for answering your question. So with that I saee people were giving you answers that I thought you would like because their thinking was similar to yours and yet they didnt recieve a star, then there were the smartass ones that probably pissed you off even more. So my question is what makes you angry when she acts like this and is it just you that thinks she's doing this to piss you off? I would say I think it's not unusual for siblings to do this but if it bothers you then say something to your husband and if he loves and respects you then he shouldn't let her do it, or maybe when she does come to visit beat her to the lap first and play her game if you need to, or you could try and explain to her that you wish she wouldn't do that and think of a good reason before you do so you don't look like your jealous over sibling affection,,,,,,,, now give me my star,,lol

- Response by flyinghawaiian56, A Guy Critical, Male, 56-65, Transportation

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I'm just LMAO at some of the answers here. Obviously some people did not have close affectionate relationships with their siblings and cousins. Lots of people would behave in this manner if they are close and affectionate. I gather that you are uncomfortable with familial demonstrations of affection especially between members of the family who are of opposing genders. You really should get over that. It is a rather uptight pinched view of life.

- Response by joybird, A Creative, Female, Who Cares?, Therapist

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It depends on there relationship its hard to come to a conclusion well really an assumption about it when there's not enough info explaining how they are with each other For those of you who automatically assumed this woman has jealousy issues while that may or may not be true there is not enough information to simply assume that is the case

- Response by A Rebel, Male, 22-25

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Word of advice... You need to rethink your position in the dynamics of the family! I have been on both sides of the coin you are tossing. I AM "that" older sister. My baby brother is 7 years younger than me. I took much care of him growing up because my mother worked full time and went to college when we were very young. There is a "mother/son"-ish bond between us. There have been girlfriends that have come and gone from his life, but the quickest way to the door was to try and cause division in the established thread of our family. He is married now to a wonderful woman who I consider as close as a sister to me. How did she survive? She learned her place within the family! We respect her position in his life, and she respects ours! On the other side, when I came into my husband's family, I had grand ideas that I would be the ultimate supreme being... (He has a twin sister!) I was wrong, and it caused a lot of unnecessary turmoil in my marriage and almost caused a divorce between us! I also had to learn my place within his family! There are more than two people involved when a couple decides to get married. If you didn't get along with his family and feel you can't make the adjustment, you probably shouldn't have married him!

- Response by mommy0308, A Married Girl, Female, 29-35

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