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Why does my Ex hate me so much? He dumped me!
Dating / 7:53 AM - Thursday March 18, 2010

Why does my Ex hate me so much? He dumped me!

My ex boyfriend suddenly ended things with me a few months ago saying he could not see a future with me. Within a week he was showing off his new girlfriend to family and friends (which he never did with me), and declaring proudly that they were a couple. Again, knowing how hurt I would be. We have mutual friends who I met through him and who have still remained friends. But he hates me for that and has told me a number of times to stay away from his friends. I am hurting so bad. I was with this guy for 3 years on/off and put up with a lot and cannot believe I meant so little. But he sent me an sms today saying he "wished he never met me". Why is he acting this way. I am the one that got dumped! I am the one sobbing into a pillow alone while he takes out his new girlfriend! How do I react to all this anger?

- Asked by serendipitygirl, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 36-45, Tampa, Other Profession

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Wow. That's horrible. If I were you, I would thank my lucky stars that you're rid of him. He has some real issues if he thinks it's OK to treat you or anyone like this.

Chances are he'll do this to his hew conquest too. He is her problem now.

You can now move on and find someone who appreciates you and treats you the way you deserve to be treated.

- Response by mrscleaver16, A Married Girl, Female, 66 or older

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Community Rating: Community Star

It's time to take off the blinders of your emotion and look at him through clearly-focused lenses.

He was never proud of you. He enjoys hurting your feelings. He is mean-spirited and vindictive.

And you still want him... WHY?

Move on. Let go of him completely. When you have, nothing he does or says will affect you or hurt you. He is who he is. Let him BE that. You can't change it, so move away from it. Build your OWN happiness, and if that includes new friends you made when you "knew him," then so be it.

If you encounter a problem such as one of your friends saying, "Bob sure hates you" or "Bob is pretty upset" or "Bob said you were blah blah blah," then all YOU need to say is, "Well, Bob has issues, I guess. Fortunately, that's no longer my concern. Who's up for pizza?"

Best wishes in your "new" world!

- Response by media4u2, A Father Figure, Male, 66 or older, Pittsburgh, Teaching

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After your done with mourning the relationship (to be honest no one can tell you when to stop doing this) you will really see him for what he was. It is not the fact that he hates you, its the fact that he was a jerk anyway. yes you loved him, yes you were with him for 3 years, still the fact remains he is a jerk.

Obviously he is selfish and doesnt think about anyone else but himself. He is no longer your problem, he is hers.

As for you, take care of yourself. Spend time with your girlfriends, take a little trip, get away from things that remind you of him. That is what is most important right now, taking care of YOU.

- Response by chemengin, A Career Woman, Female, 29-35, Science / Engineering

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Your post says the relationship was on and off and you put up with alot. This doesn't sound like the guy has treated you well in the past either, and enjoys hurting you. Wipe your tears and find yourself a man that will love being with you and treat you better. Stop being a victim of this man and lose his number. rosey

- Response by roseytalks, A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?, Tampa, Who Cares?

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move on,some things dont have a happy ending. we've all been thru some break up where things are left a mystery. things happen for a reason. you have a future in front of day at a time.

- Response by campy1, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 56-65, Retail

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I think you're in part denial here due to your pain. If you were "on and off" for 3 years, this relationship was never stable or secure in the first place. Therefore you can't say it 'suddenly' ended. It just ended again...

Consider that you didn't meet his Family in all that time. You really think he was as serious about you as you were about him? Heck no. You put on the Blinders---happy when you had him, bawling when you didn't and now that it seems to be at a final end, you're bawling again. It's time to let this go girl.

If your "mutual" friends were HIS friends first, leave them alone. It's keeping you connected to him and you're keeping up with his life which is just twisting the knife in your wound. Why do that to yourself?

He's clearly moved on and doesn't like you for whatever reason (not your concern) and he's asked you to leave his friends alone. He's acting this way b/c apparently you're not doing as he asked and moving on like he has and maybe now he is angry.

This is done once and for all. Be glad so that you can heal and find someone that's more fitting for you.

- Response by thottienc, A Career Woman, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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The only way you are going to start feeling better is to accept that he is no longer a part of your life and to leave him alone. He will continue to hurt your feelings if you keep contact with him. As hard as it might be, you need to move on.

- Response by js0629, A Career Woman, Female, 46-55

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this is an old post but i thought i'd comment since the same thing has just happened to me, we'd been together a while and i genuinely thought things were going somewhere he told me how much he loved me and how i was everything he'd ever wanted and how i treated better than anyone else then out of the blue he dumped me by text with no explination he then went on a mad anger spree calling me every name as well as naming every fault i have. i was mature to not lower myself to his level but instear say i was hurt it ended so badly and that i wish him best of luck for the future and left in there. So obviously i wae completely heart broken and humiliated to then find out that he'd cheated the day before dumping me and within 3 days of us finishing he was in a relationship with this other girl posting as many pictures as possible to rub in my face he then blocked me and decided to write status's on fb about me with his friends making me lool the bad one so i couldnt defend myself. All this has happened within the last week but as heart broken as i am i know i deserve someone a lot better than him and someone who isnt so immature im three years younger and im so glad i can say i was mature enough to not lower myself. It does get easier i promise it just takes time??.

- Response by A Thinker, Female, 18-21, London

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Sobbing into a pillow is blackmail. Stop it.
To all the blokes, guys, fellers
ont let them blackmale you

- Response by duggers, A Guy Critical, Male, 66 or older

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It's easy for us to say "move on" but that's truly the only thing you can do. Who ever knows what's in the heart of others? Who cares if he doesn't like you anymore? Block him, don't have any contact with him, and within a few months you will feel better. He sounds very mean.
Oh, go on a dating site or something and start thinking about other men.

- Response by paulinern, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Toronto, Medical / Dental

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Stop using the word hate, It is harsh and not nessessary

- Response by duggers, A Guy Critical, Male, 66 or older

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