Having gotten 3 out the door in good shape, I think that one thing you need to remember to do - as we teach our kids - is use your words. Let them know how you feel when they are being selfish - how does it make you feel to see it happen. Also, let them know what you are seeing - being rude, abrupt, unkind, etc.
Trying to expand your 'emotional vocabulary' is important because so often they don't really realize how they are acting and how it makes others feel. Gently reminding them is key. In addition, make sure you note when they get it right - no need for huge applause and banners flying but just a 'thank you' or 'that's great' go a long way. Again, life is tough and we all know how good it feels to be noticed when we get things right - make sure they know.
In part, it is a phase but one you need to parent them through or they'll end up on the other side impossible to live with (who would marry them if it continues) or employ (who wants to hire w/out good personal skills).
- Response by momto11
, Female, 46-55, Home Maker