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How do I get a white girl to like me?
Dating / 5:33 PM - Saturday March 13, 2010

How do I get a white girl to like me?

Growing up mixed has it's own set of challenges. I'm mixed half black, half white. When I was younger I didn't really fit in with black folks my age because I don't "talk black enough". Everytime I meet somebody new I always get the comment "You talk like a white boy". Yet when I was younger I didn't fit in much with whites mostly because of my skin color. Growing up most of my friends and girlfriends were mexican. As an adult these problems are much smaller now. Adults are much more accepting than teens.

Now I can't lie that I love white girls. I just find them to be so beautiful and easy to get along with. However the only white girls that ever seem to like me are the crazy and wild ones, or the white girls that try to act like they are black. I am not attracted to that. I want a mature and fun white girl who is not ghetto or attracted to guys who are ghetto. But when I am around these white girls they are usually closed off to me without ever giving me a chance. Almost like I am someone to be afraid of. I joined an online dating site and every white girl I have sent messages to never even replies. Then all the messages I get are from black girls. Whats it gonna take for me to find a good white girl who will like me?

Update: March 16, 2010.
Yeah I didn't expect this post to get so many replies, and alot of people were actually trying to say stuff about me being close minded or racist which is ridiculous. This post was just a light-hearted one. I do like white girls, but that doesn't mean that I dislike any other skin color. I just think white women are especially sexy. Also a stereotype is a stereotype for a reason, unfortunately people often live up to them. I grew up in the ghetto and I get pulled over and searched just because my skin is brown and i'm wearing a hoody. My neighborhood is full of mexican gangbangers and black drugdealers. It's because of them that some white people judge me without knowing me. I actually have goals and I am going to leave this place to a place I will not have to deal with that anymore. While all them fools gonna be dead or in jail. So that one girl that was tryin to snap and say that i'm racist needs to calm all that down.

- Asked by towwffc, A Creative, Male, 26-28, Chicago, Self-Employed

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theres no way to get ANY girl to like anyone. but, there is a way of finding those girls that are open to you to like you. first of all, if you like white girls, then i'm sure there are white girls that would like you. i've always been open to dating any race, any color. i've dated from the darkest black to the whitest of white. however, some people are very picky about something as insignificant as skin color. and no matter what you do, you can't get those girls.

so, with that said, just be yourself. also, give yourself time to find the right girl. date as many as you possibly can (not all at the same time either, or you may just end up with none). as you said, adults tend to be a little more open minded then kids. and kids typically mean 25 and younger.

then ask some of the white girls you like, but haven't dated, what could you do to win their hearts. i'm sure they'll all say pretty much the same things: treat them like a princess, have a good job, show them respect, be considerate of their needs and so on. with your mindset, you WILL end up with a mature lady...i'm SURE of it. you seem to have your ducks in a row, know where you are going and know what you want. most women find that VERY sexy, as that is confidence. continue looking, and realize what you are wanting is there...maybe just not in the age range you are looking. so, either wait or consider dating older then you. many ladies 25+ might find you very mature for your age and would love to have that kind of man. best of luck!

- Response by pizzatroll, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 46-55, Science / Engineering

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Some of the most gorgeous girls I see out there are NOT WHITE!

- Response by rafiki910, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, Who Cares?, Boston, Body Work

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Community Rating: Community Star

Regardless of race you shouldn't have to DO anything to get someone to like you.

- Response by kaffroake, A Thinker, Female, 36-45

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Crud, I've been trying to find that out for years, and I'm white myself!

But what's wrong with black girls? I'd take one, if she were right for me.

- Response by thundermist04167, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 46-55, Who Cares?

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Be yourself, and don't hold anything back. Dating sites are so superficial anyway, just keep on and you'll find someone for you!

- Response by A Thinker, Female, 29-35

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I'm speaking from personal experience - I'm not white, and I've dated lots of white girls, and like you, I'm a lot more comfortable with white girls, or latinas, but can't seem to get the attraction going with asians or black girls.

Go to live in a neighborhood that's liberal, and middle to upper-middle class. Regardless of the ethnic mix, people tend to be more forward-thinking and open in an educated community.

Get into new hobbies. Dancing (ballroom, salsa, west coast swing, lindy hop),or even hip-hop - can be a great way to meet girls from all types of background. Or you can try other stuff like hiking, or get on to a running team. Anything 'challenging' will put you in the company of an ethnically diverse group of people. Oftentimes, people who challenge themselves to try new things tend to be very open-minded also.

And if you don't have a college degree yet, get one. Not in a community college, but go to a University. It will open up friendships with people from all of the country, and even international students. Over time, it will open up opportunities taht can take you anywhere. I have a grad degree, and a really great career. When I meet people (girls) and tell them about what they do, they look past my skin color (and the stereotypical associations that come with it), and try to get to know me first.

- Response by An Intellectual Guy, Male, 26-28, Seattle, Technical

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My bf is black and he's the first black man I've ever been with. Funny thing is that I have always been attracted to black guys. Kinda like you! I grew up where most people were white and all the black guys were too "ghetto". I think black men are more attractive and fun to be around and talk too.

The thing is, most girls are crazy in general. So finding someone who is down to earth is not easy. I have heard plenty of white girls say they like black guys, they are out there. You should also focus on what you like personality wise too. Look for someone who you can be real with and get along. And remember having someone you an talk to is key. I am sure you already knew those things though.

White girls are everywhere and you are young. My best advice is to "not go looking"! You can meet someone anywhere. In the super market, on the street, the park. The most normal people are doing normal things!!!

Good luck!

- Response by prettyladylady26, A Trendsetter, Female, 22-25, Food Service

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Sounds like you have a problem with your image... girls are perceiving you in a way which leaves only the crazy and black-acting girls interested.

It could be something really small, try asking your friends what image you present (and get them to be really brutal) and see how that differs from what you want to be.

Chances are deep down you're perfect for some nice, normal and sane girl (whatever her colour or race) but you just don't project that perfection!

- Response by alex86, A Hippie Chick, Female, 29-35

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It's going to need to be a white girl who's OPEN to interracial dating/marriage. Not all white girls want to date outside their race. And yes, you are mixed race but they don't see it that way. they see you as black because your dominate feature are black.

So, you have to search for dating sites that are for those who don't care about race and asking the right questions of those girls you are interested in so you don't waste your time and to keep from continually being rejected. Good luck to you.

- Response by msadvise, A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?

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I don't know how you dress, how you carry yourself or how you come across to others, but this is probably it, because as humans, we can't help but form opinions about others on first impressions and some are quick to stereotype others too, rightly or wrongly.

So, the kind of girls you want to attract probably assume you're too 'wild' or too different (as in nothing in common) based on how you look or how you come across to them. That's why they don't even give you a chance. I mean if you don't think you might get along with someone, why bother, huh? And this is probably also why you get hit on by crazy wild girls too, because they assume you have something in common.

Now, this is not to say that you have to change yourself to fit in with some white girl's 'ideal'. NO. Please do not ever do that. People who judge you without even getting to know you or who don't even give you a chance are NOT worth it. But if you want a mature and good girl, you have to be mature and good yourself too. Like attracts like.

As they say, patience is a virtue. Hang in there. All in good time. Confidence is a key too. Maybe you are still conscious of the fact that you don't fit in anywhere in particular and you're not comfortable with yourself?

- Response by cool7, A Hippie Chick, Female, 29-35, Who Cares?

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dont decriminate, be open when looking for true love. who said your soul mate was white, she could be black or asisan. just be yourself and try forcus on personality rather than skin cause you never know......good luck!!!!

- Response by musical85, A Career Woman, Female, 29-35, Student

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Hey...I am nice...good girl!!!! I am white!!! But for some reason I am only attracted to ppl w dark complexions...if you need some advice let me know!!!! You have to have a little game and there is more....just pm if you want so more help!!!!

- Response by christinfusion22, A Hippie Chick, Female, 29-35, Who Cares?

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Be the person that you are looking for in terms of personality.
And make several trials, one of them will work. Probably you will not end up marrying the first one!!! but you will learn fron the experience and next time will be better.

Opps! I failed in all my relationships.

- Response by A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Other Profession

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I'm not mixed race, I'm as white as they come, yet I have been accused of having a thing for the darker ladies (my ex wife and my current g/f are both black), although I see it as just being opened to whomever happens to strike my fancy, and I have certainly, in my life, dated white girls (and Chinese, Latina, and even one Jewyorican girl).

I don't face the challenges you face, but it seems you are bit hung up on race nevertheless. This suprises me when you live in a big city, which ought to be fairly diverse. I live in NYC, and there are certainly plenty of sophisticated white girls who would not shy away from dating a black or mixed race man. Maybe you are waiting around looking for the "right signals," while they are waiting for you to ask them out.

It sounds like you need to broaden your horizons a bit, too. why would you rule out being with a fine looking sister? Last I checked, times are changing and HAVE changed. Where I live, there are plenty of blacks who are well educated and highly successful. Most that I know would be appalled at the notion that the way they speak is considered "talking white."

- Response by tomtomcat, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 56-65, New York, Teaching

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If theres anything else but the reflection of a man looking back at you in the mirror then you're beyond help. If you're like the rest of us then youll just pursue the woman you want and if she digs you then she digs you and if she doesnt then leave her be. The problem is that theres more than one kind of woman in the world and if youre really looking for good in a woman, color is the last thing to count.

- Response by mortaune, A Guy Critical, Male, 29-35, Student

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They are out there...keep looking. It's a shame it comes down to skin color. You should be wanting a good girl reguardless of color. If you don't like the site you're on find another site. Look around where you live. Good luck with your quest.

- Response by lasttrueromantic, A Creative, Female, 36-45, Teaching

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I sense self hatred.
You're not Black and you're not White. You're a beautiful mix of the two.

Unfortunately, your perception of "Blackness" is warped. You're clearly a sponge who has sucked up all the negativity fed into pop culture by the media.

You've tried so hard to segregate yourself from the Black community, that you've dated the closest thing to White skinned people; Mexicans. I'm not knocking you about who you're attracted to, I'm just totally against your reasoning.

As a Black woman, I'm offended by the fact that you're of the opinion that once you're dark skinned you're "Ghetto" and not good enough to date. This is not true.

Its very unfortunate that the Black people seen on tv (Which accounts for a VERY VERY small percent of the World's Black population) gets to represent us and there by define what "Blackness" is.

I've been told by people (non-Blacks) that I don't act or speak like the Black people they see on American tv. I've also been called "white washed" and I take great offense to that term.
What that term means is that a well spoken, well dressed and educated Black person must be "Trying" to emulate a White person why they are the way they are. Not true.
Its my upbringing. Every Black person I know acts and speaks the way I do. The Black people on tv doesn't represent me, my family or my friends.

Young man, emancipate yourself from Mental Slavery. None but ourselves can free our minds.
Love your yourself before anyone even a White woman can love you.
Good luck and take care.

- Response by redblue4u, A Creative, Female, 29-35, Montreal

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You gotta keep looking. Nothing you say or do will make someone like you.

- Response by seductivepisces9, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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I feel your pain, being mixed myself. I have to agree with the other responders though. Don't worry about getting a girl to like you.
It says you live in Chicago; being in a big city there are plenty of open-minded people willing to accept interracial relationships, so just give it time.
Do your thing, be yourself. The moment you stop caring so much about how people view you is the moment you'll start attracting the girls you like. That's what happened for me. Good luck.

- Response by howjm, A Guy Critical, Male, 29-35, Managerial

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All you have to do is talk to them, eventually you will find someone who is interested in you. It's really that simple.

- Response by thecorrectanswer, A Guy Critical, Male, 36-45, Toronto

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Hi I am a white girl from a very proper and prominent family and I am sure that you will meet a mature white girl who is down to earth and calm. You sound very normal and intelligent and it just will take time to meet the right people so maybe you can just put yourself out there more because maybe its not you that is the problem but maybe it is that you are not at the right places at the right time. I never judge guys on their skin color and have dated guys of all races and I am the pinacle of proper mature white girl so don't you worry we are out there I promise! Honestly it is so much more interesting to me to date out of my race because it is fun to explore each others backgrounds. The only negative if I could think of one is that sometimes I do wonder if my family would look down on me for not dating one of my own race although they say the are happy with whoever I am with no matter the color of their skin but the thought is sometimes in the back of my mind.

- Response by A Sportif, Female, 26-28

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I feel for you, bro. I'm half black and half white too, and I'm in the same situation as you, except i learned that there is a point of compromise. If you can't find a white girl that loves you regardless of race, maybe you should stop being hypocritical. You only love white women, they only love white men. I wish people were more open minded to other races as well, but if you aren't willing to be open minded with other races, you're the same as well. Experiment with black and latina girls, and then learn something about love. Then maybe you'll be able to get a white girl who cares for you

- Response by crazynails, A Creative, Male, 22-25, Miami

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I understand where you're coming from towwffc. There are a lot of racial profiles and the hardest one for you is what you are trying to overcome. It's sad that lots of people are calling you out on using racial profiles when the reason you are posting is because you want to know how to get past yours. While ther are a lot of sites that tell you <a href="http://niftydatei et-a-girl-to-like-you.h tml">how to get a girl to like you</a>, I think with this case it is extra special. You need to become the best friend to girls that you like. There are a lot of girls that are looking for a prince charming to sweep them off their feet. I would advise taking that route. Make a girl feel like she is a queen and be the guy that puts her needs first in everything and that will make her want to hang out with you more. Most people will look past the racial profile that they might find scary if you show them how unscary and caring you are. Good luck.

- Response by adviceman123, A Career Man, Male, 36-45

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SInce you are black and white and in america that means black, Obama will never be called white even though he is half white and raise by whites, he will always be called black totally disrespecting hi mom grand dad and grand mom who actually raised him. It shows more than anything how racist this country is not to even recognize that are president is no a black president or Afro-American president alone he is also a white president.

The problem is many white girls will see you as not black enough and will take a pass, other white girls will see you as not white at all like America sees our president and they will take a pass also, black women we see you as black but full of self hate and say isnt a black girl good enough for you.

So no matter who you try to date you will possibly been seen as racist yourself or others will ignore you or be repelled from you because you are not black enough or not white at all.

But there is good news, to every girl that you find attractive and intelligent strike up a conversation, try maybe two girls a week try to get phone numbers, keep a diary with good and bad points, soon you will have the girl that you desire it may take months even a year, and you will have to go on many dates, Dont change yourself or your desire for an attractive intelligent white girl that would love an intelligent attractive man that just happens to be white and black. just make sure intelligence beauty and likemindness and respect and love and honor come before race and sex and you will be fine.
Please write back and let us know.

I have been in a similar situation and there is light at the end of the tunnel. Put God First. God Bless you.

- Response by A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 29-35, Milwaukee, Technical

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Hi mate I can see where your coming from. I am also black and my advice to you is just be yourself and try and not use the past experiences to ruin any relationships in the future. Trust me there are really cute black girls they are all not ghetto. also I have had alot of white girlfriends and alot of black girlfriends. The way I look at it is you may have been unlucky with white girls in the past. Just remember girls are girls no matter if there black or white. mingle with people from different cultures so that way you can meet any type of girls if u want. also u have to remember as horrible as it sounds some girls have a preference just like you so you may be nice but not there just not into you. most girls will be polite and say I am not interested. thats fine just move on be polite but if u show ur personality and make them laugh and ask them confidently and nicely they will say ok sure. My advice too you is to not think about it too much and chill if u like a black girl go for it get to know her simple if u like a chinese or white girl go for it flirt also to let her know ur interested to its all practise u will find someone :).

- Response by A Jock, Male, 22-25, London, Student

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I really feel for you bro,since my friend who is Asian faced the same problem with white girls.The hard truth is you cant afford to be picky when ur dating interracially.Since you are half black ur most likely gonna look like a black person and since majority women of any race prefer their own(90% of white american women prefer white men)your chances of getting an ideal ww is very slim, even after making a big assumption that all the remaining 10% like you(which may not be true) and ur ideal girl exists in that small no. Having said that I'm sure you can get ur dream girl.I would highly suggest you to go to the UK and have a good job there,since white british women love classy educated black/mixed men a lot over there.Interracial dating is much more common there and the chances of you finding ur ideal girl would be much greater there.So get a good degree,a good job and travel to the Uk.I'm sure u'll be successful.But having said all that I did right now, never diss women of other races. Be friendly and respectful towards all women regardless of race,appearence.

- Response by jamesgordon, A Creative, Male, 29-35, Frankfurt

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I have excatly the same problem. But I live in a place where there is a small population of good Afro-Americans, and most populations are latins, natives, and caucasians.
They are excatly as you described them. But since I am young college student, I have planty of time to look around and find the one. So those girls you are looking for are there, you just have to look a little bit harder.
And BTW you said that you live in a ghetto neighborhood right? Try to leave this area, because what is the benefit you get from living there?

- Response by ismaill, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 22-25, Student

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ill just agree with girldownunder
the fact that you are only focused on one race is kind of sad and close minded

- Response by brifon16, An Alternative Girl, Female, 22-25, Los Angeles, Student

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Wow, you dislike it when people categorize black men as "gangsta" types, right? You dislike people going for black men and then being disappointed because not all black men are gangstas?

Well, how do you think white women like it when they run into people like you who seem to think of them as another species, with its own peculiarities and tastes?

You should be stuck with the people who put you in a box and nail the lid down--you do it to others, so why should I be sympathetic about anyone else doing it to you?

- Response by electragold21, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, New York, Teaching

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- Response by brifon16, An Alternative Girl, Female, 22-25, Los Angeles, Student

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