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What do guys think of a girl making the first move?
Dating / 8:26 AM - Saturday March 13, 2010

What do guys think of a girl making the first move?

Does it make her look desperate or maybe even sleezy?

- Asked by Female, 36-45

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In this day and age, I think it's ridiculous that anyone would still make those kind of assumptions. And, many do. Because, unless a woman is acting or behaving desperate or sleazy, why think they are. I've made the first move in order to get to know a guy. I've made the first move for sex. I've made the first move in asking uncomfortable questions. And, I'm not desperate or sleazy. I'm pretty confident and I'm 44 years old. The concept of sitting back, waiting, while hoping is ridiculous to me. Because, life is short. Grown adults don't make judgments about a person before they get to truly know them, simply because they show interest first. What are you comfortable doing? What do you believe about it? That's what's important.

You don't know when you'll have that opportunity to communicate what you want to someone you're interested in. A lot of people have missed out, because of focusing on what gender should do what first. Now, if it's the guy that shows interest. He should be man enough to initiate things. Not, put just enough out there and then think you're going to run after him. But, it all depends on how you carry yourself. Believe me, men know the difference in a confident woman that isn't afraid to show interest in what she likes, and a needy, desperate, woman that's willing to do anything in order to get someone. That is, unless, they're arrogant, egotistical, and superficially conceited enough to believe they're the best thing since the creation of the internet! And, think any move a woman make is indicative of them being desperate or lonely. And, that's just plain stupid. Men like that, I wouldn't be remotely interested in if that was their attitude.

- Response by thelovedovefor1, A Creative, Female, 46-55, Atlanta, Who Cares?

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Who plays chess with girls?! ;)

- Response by stillagoodguy1, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, Celebrity

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depends on a lot of factors like age and what you look like..if someone i want to approach appraoches me, im ok with that

- Response by A Career Man, Male, 46-55, New York, Who Cares?

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typically, yes. however, most classy ladies can make it seem like its the guy making the first move, without coming across as manipulating or sleezy or desparate. there is an art to it.

- Response by pizzatroll, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 46-55, Science / Engineering

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Desperate?...no.

Sleazy?....maybe. But that's OK. I dig a little sleazy.

- Response by drumboi2, A Guy Critical, Male, 56-65, Retired

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It has never troubled me in the slighest. However, some men with less confidence in themselves may find it threatening or challenging.

- Response by 2wheels, A Creative, Male, 56-65, Retired

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You know, I could never figure out why it mattered so much. If two people are attracted to each other, then why not approach him. As long as you are straight up, why would that make you look desperate or sleazy. Maybe the dude doesn't know how you feel unless you approach him. Worse yet, the one you are attracted to may get away. Go for it!

- Response by masterbody1, A Guy Critical, Male, 46-55

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I find that if the girl makes the first move he thinks that he is gonna get sex and wants to go to his car and play

- Response by A Thinker, Female, 26-28, Who Cares?

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it can be very sexy

- Response by bigcurt, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 56-65, Pittsburgh, Self-Employed

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some men love a woman who is interested in them. i say if you want to show interest in a person go for it. dont lose the oppurtunity.

- Response by campy1, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 56-65, Retail

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It is hard for a DECENT guy to make the first move as they can be afraid the woman will shoot him down and he may lose his chance with you. So by first move if you mean the first hug, hand holding, or kiss then I say let the guy know you are into him!! It will either make him relax and know you DO like him or if he is not into you like that you will know!! If you mean as in sex, just letting him know you like him will open the avenues for that BUT didn't jump too soon if you want to keep this one as you don;t want him to think you are loose and sleep with everyone you meet. Fine line there so I always opted for waiting so he would know I was a keeper!! :^)

- Response by ladyhawkmrock, Female, 56-65

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yes...yes it does :/

- Response by cristyquartz, A Creative, Female, 18-21, Managerial

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My wife made the first move. I see nothing wrong with it. I think it shows the woman is confident and comfortable with herself.

- Response by redbone, A Career Man, Male, 56-65, Food Service

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it's AWESOME when a woman makes the first move! :-) i'm single, come make the first move on me! :-D

- Response by dudemcguy, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 36-45, Detroit, Student

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I LOVE IT!!!!! I usually fall back and let the women make the first move anyway, it makes everything else fall right into place!!!

- Response by guitarplayer2010, A Creative, Male, 36-45, Artist / Musician / Writer

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It's about time...and totally appropriate, especially since guys are often blamed for putting the moves on a woman and only wanting one thing, and all that rhetoric. They are also supposed to be experts at reading the signals as to hat the right time is.

- Response by tomtomcat, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, New York, Teaching

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This whole concept of who should make the first move is really some social stigma, in my opinion.
Whether you're male or female, if you have feelings for someone, then simply make that move - does it really make any difference. It shows you're human and want something in life.

Obviously, you'll see 'signs' of interest in the other person and need to approach that 'move' during conversation so as to gauge the other person's interest. If it's there though, make the move, for goodness sake!

- Response by aussiemale42, A Life of the Party, Male, 46-55, Sydney, Internet / New Media

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Make it. It makes her seem willing to pursue what she wants in life.

- Response by mortaune, A Guy Critical, Male, 29-35, Student

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"works for me"

- Response by hotair, A Father Figure, Male, 66 or older, New Orleans, Transportation

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I'm all down with that.

- Response by usarmy24id, A Mr. Married Guy, Male, 36-45, Celebrity

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A woman who's assertive enough to make the first move is a maaaaaaaajor turn on for me. I think the passive "wait for the guy to come" mentality most women seem to have is pretty outdated, and boring. Happy hunting :)

- Response by rockerking, A Creative, Male, 26-28, Ottawa, Artist / Musician / Writer

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Read most of the male answers, read the "however" and "but" carefully.
They wish actually but just to see if they are still in demand and just to be more confident when they move to the next woman.
They may have sex with the woman that made the first move but they don't take her seriously.

UNFORTUNATELY

Though I agree with the guy who said it shows you are human and you know hwat you want but very few men think like this. Also even if they see it OK on theory they don't in practice.
Actually, I posted few weeks ago that I met a man in public that I am very interested in him and asked for advice what should I do next. I was under attack that I am psych and desperate.

If a man was in the same situation, he would just say to the woman can we have coffee together or dinner! on Saturday!
I didn't get such advice!


- Response by A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Other Profession

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That makes her a keeper

- Response by gilpill, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, Chicago, Internet / New Media

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