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How often should a guy call?
Dating / 6:17 PM - Friday March 12, 2010

How often should a guy call?

I am new at dating... I was married for 16 years and then was on a 1 year relationship after that. That guy called me everyday, very short call, email me every day but short, we got along well and enjoyed each others company. Now I just met this new guy, have been on dates 4 times, he seems very inetersted BUT he doesn't call every day AND when he texts he says "Call you later" and doesn't! Since I really not care much I let it go but did mention it to him last time, he said he knew he had a problem with that and that he'll try to call more often. Well he does a couple of times but still he continues some times to say "Call you later" and doesn't. Now it is bothering me. I think it is disrespectful.

Also my friends tell me they talk to their BF for hours at night.. so maybe I am just comparing.

Do I have it all wrong? What do you think?

- Asked by Female, 46-55

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I hate talking on the phone. I can count on one hand the phone conversations I've had with my sweetie in the three years we've been dating.

Daily phone calls do not make or break a relationship.

What happened to the one year relationship guy? No longer dating him?

Does the new guy (other than not calling) possess all the other key factors which are required for you to be happy and satisfied in a relationship?

I encourage you to read the book "Finding The Love Of Your Life" by Dr. Neil Clark Warren.

- Response by utahmom, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Managerial

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If he isn't going to call, he shouldn't text you that.
However...I don't think that a guy needs to call every day. And, for your friends who talk to their B/F every day for hours...what the hell do they talk about when they get together? I can't think of a faster way to burn-out a relationship than talking on the phone for hours every day. That gets real old, real fast. "What's new?" "In the last 10 minutes...nothing!"

- Response by awsum1, A Life of the Party, Male, Who Cares?, Chicago

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I wouldn't worry as much about the lack of daily calls as his commitment to call you later and not doing it. Of course his "call you later" might mean later that day or another day.

How does this man treat you otherwise? Is he polite, respectful, considerate? Does he have the values you seek in someone special?

4 dates is certainly a start, but not soon enough to really tell if he is right for you. So, be open, have a life outside of him (friends, family, hobbies, interests) and see where it goes.

I like a call daily from someone I care about, but it isn't carved in stone. See where it goes.

- Response by lasuz, A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?, Administrative

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If you have already brought it up and he doesn't care, I'd make sure you clear this out before establishing yourself BF & GF. If daily calls is what works for you, you should make that clear form the get go. Good luck!

- Response by ready2xl, A Trendsetter, Female, 36-45, Financial / Banking

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i'm trying to work through this too but, what i really think is that you two are just starting out and he had a life before you.. and though he may like you, life doesn't stop or change just because you're now in his life. It's all new.. when it starts to get less new you'll be a bigger part of his life, hopefully. the him saying he will call and him not is a problem though. that makes him unreliable and thats a bad trait that will translate into other situations... no beuno.

- Response by meganrocks1322, A Thinker, Female, 22-25, San Diego, Student

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