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Active Questions

How do you not let other people affect your day?
Friendship / 7:49 AM - Wednesday March 10, 2010

How do you not let other people affect your day?

I've been having some really good days lately, but I always seem to let how other people treat me affect my day and my moods. I really dislike this about myself that I am so sensitive. I shouldn't care what anyone thinks about me or let their demeanor affect me any way... How can I become immune to other people and just be myself no matter what?

- Asked by klynna82, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 29-35, New York

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Think of it this way: How someone treat you reflects on THEM, not on you. Just as your behavior reflects on you alone.

A person who is rude or unkind to you has some other compelling factor that has NOTHING to do with you. They could be going through something, or they could just be a nasty person, or maybe they are crazy! You just don't know their reason, so don't personalize it and make it about you when you've done nothing wrong.

- Response by 1junebug, A Cool Mom, Female, 36-45

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It takes practice. I can be this way sometimes too but have found over time that if I practice not letting people get to me and focus on more positive thoughts, it becomes easier over time. It's hard not to care at ALL what others think of you but what you think of yourself should be more important. If you don't think too highly of yourself, that's something to work on so that what others think becomes less important and less of an influence on you. I find that the higher your level of self-esteem and self-confidence and the happier you are with your life, the less you care what others think. Also, remember that other people have their moods and issues too and try not to take it too personally if they don't treat you as well as you'd like. As long as you value yourself and you have others who value you for who you are, it doesn't matter so much what others think!

- Response by citygirl006, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, San Francisco, Other Profession

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find peace with who and what you are yourself. Then you will know that other people have thier own issues and problems and you are best to just leave them to thier own. When people treat you badly dont be mad like they want, feel pity for them being so petty and angry in themselves.

- Response by hoopsjunkie, A Rebel, Male, 46-55, Indianapolis, Self-Employed

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I have this same problem sometimes, and I too believe that I am too sensitive. It's easy to tell someone not to let other people's behavior affect your mood, but it's harder to do. If someone does or says something to make me feel bad, I ask them what the problem is. Sometimes they may not realize they have hurt or offended me and they apologize, then I'm good. If they don't, and I see it's just them being an asshole, then I just get over it and let it be and ignore them.
I don't believe any of us are completely "immune".

- Response by lavender, A Hippie Chick, Female, 46-55, San Francisco

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But,Darlin,it's a rare and great person who can see themselves the way that others see them.,

- Response by cocoon, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, New York, Alternative Medicine

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Get an I don't care attitude.

- Response by Ghostrider8t0, A Guy Critical, Male, Who Cares?, Technical

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First off you should just have to learn not to care what others think off you. If you are dealing with people who don't know you then why bother letting them get to you. They don't know you and why should you care. You worry about yourself and yourself only.

- Response by womanv, A Career Woman, Female, 36-45, New York, Self-Employed

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I too am sensitive and people get to me all the time. I was thinking of different ways to handle this so that I stop torturing myself when half the time it has nothing to do with me. I feel like sensitive people tend to make everything about them. Try in this situation to think logically and never, never assume that it has to do with you until you are told it has to do with you. In other words don't worry about it until you have to. In the grand sceme of things who cares if someone isn't happy with you, who are they. Sensitive people also tend to make everyone else more important then themselves. You have to remember that you are as valuable a person as the next guy.. No one deserves to be on a pedastal no one...

- Response by A Thinker, Female, 46-55

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I ask myself to state only known facts. Simple example; I came in, got my coffee, wiped the counter down, threw away paper towel, went to office. They came in, muttered, slammed the cupboard, stormed to their office. Typically I would list 100 doubts about what I did...but now, I retrace, find no error, (or if there is one address it) and move to what is real, in front of me. My peace has moved up a few bars and I notice I am happier with the things I do because I don't feel guilty or angry every 15 mins. My new favorite question to ask someone coming at me, "What exactly are you mad AT?" Remember, The Problem is the problem, not the person.

- Response by A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Home Maker

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