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How can I push his "emotional hot buttons" to get him back?
Dating / 11:46 AM - Friday March 05, 2010

How can I push his "emotional hot buttons" to get him back?

I love this guy with my whole heart.... He is with his ex girl friend because he said she won't leave him alone and it kills him.... He set and cried on me one night saying he loved me and that he didn't want to let us go... He keeps telling me I deserve better then what he's giving but I still can't move on because it's him that I need. I need him in my life because he made me so happy, everyone keeps telling me that I will find someone else but I have tried dating but none of them compare to him..... I havent eat or sleep none since we broke up and there's no way I can move on.... I need some help..... How can I get my man back??? I know he loves me just as much......

- Asked by Female, 22-25

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No, he doesn't. Stop being a fool.

All of that was a well orchestrated show by a very gifted manipulator. He's with his ex-girlfriend because she won't leave him alone? Come on...you can't possibly be that gullible.

At your age, NOTHING makes a person be with someone other than them WANTING to be.

He is using you for a fall back plan, for extra attention.

Move on and find someone that actually gives a damn about you.

- Response by vabyss, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 36-45, Who Cares?

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Sorry, don't want to sound mean, but if he was SOOO in love with you, he wouldn't put his ex first.

You really need to move on.

- Response by catscratch, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Executive

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I don't mean to be cynical, but if he wanted to be with you instead of her, he'd be with you instead of her.
You say 'she won't leave him alone' but lots of guys deal with stalker ex-gf's without throwing in the towel and giving into the ex. Honestly, if he loved you just as much, he wouldn't let anything on earth would come between you.
You can't 'get him back.' You can't make him love you more or make him choose you.
Sounds like this guy doesn't know what he wants. And until he matures and grows a spine, it will always be heartbreak and disappointment.
Best of luck, chica.

- Response by falsehammer, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 29-35, Kansas City, Consulting

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have you tried not contacting him at all after this?

- Response by lucy3236, A Thinker, Female, 36-45

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You can't push any emotional buttons, the guy is with the other girl because she is the one he likes to be with, it is not an EX since they're still together. Wake up and move on!!

- Response by perla, A Trendsetter, Female, 29-35, Milan, Other Profession

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He's LYING to you. Good lord, girl. Use your brain, now. He is with her because he loves her. If he actually DID love you, he would ignore her, and be with you. He's Lying, and keeping you around, just in case she leaves again. And, he would be with you til she comes back again.
So, let's re-cap, he's lying to you and using you.
Get a backbone and leave. He will NEVER be with you.

- Response by roaminginsomniac, An Alternative Girl, Female, 46-55, Law Enforcement

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I'm sorry, but your mentality is a bit off here. Most men (in most situations) do not really have "emotional hot buttons" that can be pushed to get them back. That particular weakness is characteristic of women, and believe me they pay the price for it. Unlike some other posters, I am quite willing to believe that your guy is sincere, though as I man I admit the primal appeal of having more than one's fair share of women, which is something most women seem not enough aware of. Be that as it may, the only way out really is not some sort of indirect maneuvering (of the sort women love) but rather the straight power play: stop having sex with him. Make him choose. That will either work or it won't. Yes, you are at risk of "losing the relationship" if you do that. But you have not really got the relationship anyway. Just make sure that if he agrees to dump the other woman he really follows through, with no contact.

- Response by unluckyloveatfirstsighter, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, Artist / Musician / Writer

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