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How do I keep my relationship moving forward, even if I am not ready to move in with him?
Dating / 11:43 PM - Thursday March 04, 2010

How do I keep my relationship moving forward, even if I am not ready to move in with him?

My boyfriend asked me to move in with him and I told him that i wasn't ready. He said that after we have been together this long ( 2 years) that moving in together was the next logical step. MY view of things is that I'm not ready to get married, so why would I be ready for a fake marriage? so how do I keep my relationship moving forward without taking this step?

Update: March 05, 2010.
I want to move forward, I just dont want to move in together. its a big decision not something you do because it is the next thing of the list.

- Asked by An Alternative Girl, Female, 26-28

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Actually I admire your decision. You sound like a girl who knows what she wants and isn't ready to jump into something so serious. I'd say just stay honest with him and your relationship will move forward on it's own. He must admire your strength so just do what comes naturally for you!

- Response by laniepocket67, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Teaching

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It isn't moving forward..accept this...You aren't ready after two years..then it isn't going anywhere anyhow..

- Response by lady4u, A Married Girl, Female, 56-65, Cincinnati, Who Cares?

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Community Rating: Community Star

What I don't understand is why do you have to move in to prove that your relationship to move forward. It doesn't gannrantee a stronger relationship. I don't believe in moving until I get a ring on my finger and I am going to marry. Explain that to that guy this. I too feel that playing house with your boyfriend is hogwash.
So this is what you do. Sit down and tell him this. When you asked me to move in I was not expecting you to ask me to move in with you. You never asked me how I felt about it. You assumed that I would be okay with that. I am sorry but, I don't believe in living together. Living together are for married couples. Living together as an unmarried couple will not make this relationship stronger or better. Therefore, when I am ready to get married and if this relationship grows into that, then I will move in when I say my I do's. So I feel the relationship is going great, I don't want to rock the boat.

He can't argue with you with that. He will be taken aback because now these days people have to learn to value marriages. Most people don't. And if you move in together is not a garanntee that you will get married if you move in together.
So let him see the other side of the coin. If he respects you he will back off.
Good Luck let me know what he will say.

- Response by womanv, A Career Woman, Female, 36-45, New York, Self-Employed

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Why is it that SO FEW seem to understand anything about the TRUE nature of a relationship!!?

Why does the idea of "Moving forward" ONLY mean something physical as in either moving in together or getting married??

Women are of course faaar more guilty of this and the fact that some guys are starting to think this way is evidence that this feminine thinking and mentality is infecting all of society.

Even if you NEVER live together or get married, HOW does that negate moving forward?? It is this world definition of "moving forward" that is the ENTIRE PROBLEM!

In ANY relationship your supposed to be moving forward by getting closer together, understanding each other more, BONDING more with each other, learning each others ways, quirks and so forth and thus adapting to each others ways and learning to get along better and better through compromise and giving and taking..

The LACK of this understanding is exactly WHY relationships today only get worse and worse as time goes on and because people only think that "moving forward" MUST and ONLY means "living together or getting married". Again I hear this almost endlessly from women but more men are starting to think this way too...WAKE UP WORLD!!

- Response by richsifu, A Rebel, Male, 46-55, Science / Engineering

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You sound sensible. Do what you think is right for you. I dont think you are a suitable couple. Do your own thing and feel comfortable. Tanto Bella Cosi Doug J

- Response by duggers, A Guy Critical, Male, 66 or older

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If you're not ready to move forward then you don't move forward. I don't get you, you want to move forward but you don't, OK.

- Response by lokiereshkigal, A Creative, Female, Who Cares?, Washington, DC, Other Profession

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