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Why is my husband accusing me of cheating on him?
Married Life / 2:04 PM - Thursday March 04, 2010

why is my husband accusing me of cheating on him?

My husband and I have been married for 6 1/2 years. Over the last month I was sick for 2 weeks with broncitus and the following week had all 4 of our kids sick in thier stomachs. Sex was the last thing on my mind. Last night he wanted to have sex, but I was completly exhausted from my busy day to even think about it. He is accusing me of cheating on him since it has been a few weeks since the last time we made love. He is blaming me for not being attracted to him. I love my husband so much and I am very attracted to him. The last month has just been so busy with myself and everyone else being sick plus we had remodeled our office ourselves. I believe I am just still so exhausted with everything that has been going on. He also said that he thinks I am cheating with a guy I am friends with on my Facebook account. (he doesn't have a specific guy in mind that I'm "cheating" with)I did have a lot of friends, girls and guys, in high school and I am reconnecting with them on facebook. Plus I am in charge of our class reunions and had started my facebook account this past spring to find everyone to get addresses, but have been using it to talk to my old friends. My husband didn't have a lot of friends in high school so I don't know if he is jealous because he told me "if you haven't talked to them since high school why be friends with them now" What do I do????? How can I let my husband know that I am not cheating on him? I have never done ANYTHING for him to believe I would be cheating.

- Asked by Female, 29-35

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He's feeling insecure because it's been a while since you've had sex. Think about it, if he turned you down constantly, would you not feel hurt?
Explain to him what's going on and promise him you'll make an attempt to see that his needs are met.

- Response by beanielou, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Halifax, Who Cares?

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Bcz he is probably cheating on you, or he has severe issues that have NOTHING to do with you.

- Response by clueless37, An Alternative Girl, Female, 36-45, Celebrity

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if you haven't talked to them since high school why be friends with them now

- Response by fehkarfight, A Couch Potato, Male, 46-55, Who Cares?

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It's a hard place you're in. Ideally he would be more understanding and let you have your space until sex becomes a more organic thing, where you come to it naturally. The other side of things might be, and I hate to say, HE's the cheater. It's often a sign of projecting your faults when you blame someone else of cheating because you are, in actuality, the cheater.

Let's assume it's not that and he's just feeling highly insecure. It's not new news, or groundbreaking ideas, but send the kids to a neighbors, or get a baby sitter for the night. Treat yourselves to a nice dinner, a movie, HAVE A DATE!!! Wine and dine one another and let that take you where it will. Marriage is a two way street and you can't hold up traffic because you're tired. Mostly, sit down with him and make some time for him, but make sure you express that you need some affection as well. He can't just say, "Let's do it" and expect you to drop everything and come running. When I want sex from my wife, it's intentional. I know she's tired but I'll run her a bath, rub her feet and pamper her. When she's nice and tired in bed, that's when the kissing come in. Soft gentle kisses on her neck, back, arms, elbows, pretty much everywhere. Lots of teasing and more than anything, it takes time. She comes around every time, complaining that she's so tired but when I ask if she just wants to go to sleep, the answer is NEVER yes.

I hope this helps.

- Response by scentualdesigner, A Creative, Male, 36-45, Other Profession

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I've been w/ my s/o for almost 6 years, and he just questioned my motives a couple weeks ago b/c I got my hair colored, had gotten dressed up and put on a little more makeup than usual for my bday, went out to dinner/movie w/ my dad and out w/ my girlfriends... so, he was feeling a little insecure and was questioning me about everything I was doing and who I was really meeting up w/ and blah blah. I don't know, I'd have to say, we all get a little insecure every now and again and need a little reassurance to feel better about it. My s/o also has recently connected w/ old H.S. friends from facebook, and he's having a good ol time. I had no issue w/ it, until an old friend made some comments that I thought were disrespectful to say to a taken man. Yeah, I got a little jealous and insecure... but he handled it and didn't respond to the woman. The whole facebook thing can get a little out of hand b/c of finding all these old friends you have fond memories with, but just be sure to keep it on the level and if your husband has any insecurities w/ it, just reassure him that it's ALL kept on a friends level and nothing more. I'm thinking he just needs a little reassurance, and is only worried about the relationship. Just give him a little extra love and attention when things get back to normal, and I'm sure this will all be forgotten.

- Response by A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Financial / Banking

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