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I think my husband is being as asshole.
Married Life / 5:14 PM - Wednesday March 03, 2010

I think my husband is being as asshole.

Yeah, I said it!

I'm pregnant, sick with the flu and have a double eye infection. Our son is also sick with the flu and I haven't left the house in the last few weeks for anything except grocery shopping and to go to DR's appts. My husband has volunteered three times this week to take extra shifts for a guy at work to give him a break and has hardly been home all week. To make matters worse our son has been really acting out and driving me crazy so I was looking forward to him being home tonight. This morning he announced that he's going out after work tonight to unwind and I'm a wee bit cranky about it, although I've said nothing. I honestly don't have the energy to argue with him right now. I might be being selfish but I resent the idea that he's going out instead of coming home and giving me some relief so I can rest, especially since he saw fit to take extra shifts to help someone else. I get that he needs time for himself, but so do I and this couldn't have came at a worse time. I have a Dr's appt. tomorrow morning, I know he's going to be hung over and cranky because he has to watch our son for me to go and I'm going to have to kick his ass to get him to act right. LOL

So, am I being the insensitive asshole or is he?

Update: March 03, 2010.
For the record, I should have mentioned that I've let him know that I needed a break. I even told him I was actually looking forward to going to the doctor (isn't that sick? lol) because I needed the hour or so worth of peace and quiet.

- Asked by houseworkmakesyaugly, A Married Girl, Female, 36-45

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He is.
Tell him we said so.

- Response by chchia, A Married Girl, Female, 46-55, Medical / Dental

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No you're not being an insensitive asshole, your husband is...he not only 'expects' you to continue to take care of yourself and your son, but to do it while you're sick and pregnant...uh uh, that is not something that a husband (or a wife) should do when their spouse is sick...and actually taking on extra hours for someone else so they could have a 'break' is even more maddening because he is aware that you are sick and pregnant but isn't making any concessions to take care of you...he needs to take responsibility as well and help you until you are able to take care of things again...:D

- Response by fastball, A Cool Mom, Female, 36-45, Edmonton, Self-Employed

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Yup, he's being an a**hole alright! Kick away, he's got it coming.

- Response by canajun, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 56-65, Vancouver, Self-Employed

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You wives need to learn how to start saying something before you have all this crap building up on you. You give two options (who's the ahole) and I think its neither. He's just clueless like all men.

PLEASE ladies remember: We can NOT read your minds! SAY WHAT YOU WANT!!!

- Response by newnumbersguy32, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 36-45, Financial / Banking

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He is. Sorry, but charity begins at home...

Which is where he should've been instead of helping out the co-worker...unless you folks really needed the extra money.
And where he should be now, to give you a break, so you can rest and get well.

Sure, he's entitled to unwind...once he's helped get his household up and running smoothly again....geez.

I hope you and your son feel better soon!

- Response by mamom04, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 56-65, Phoenix

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you made a choice..I tend to doubt this man suddenly became the selfish bastard you describe..or did he? It might be best not to have more children as you are clearly on your own mostly and in time if he continues to put his needs first you will most likely be a part of the divorce statistics..sad but true...

- Response by butternutbisque, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Who Cares?

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You are right to be aggravated by his insensitivity. He's an asshole.....say it with me now....aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaassssssssssssssss ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhooooooooooooo ooooooooollllllllllleee eeeeeeee!
Can you take you son and go to your mother's for a week? I would! Make HIM ask you to come home.

- Response by joybird, A Creative, Female, Who Cares?, Therapist

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When someone says they need to unwind, and it isn't a regular occurrence, it's best to give them what they need.

- Response by vabyss, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 36-45, Who Cares?

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Yes. He's being a jerk. But normally, he's not a jerk. So let him go out and have fun tonight. Don't say anything, but tomorrow, tell him that this weekend YOU will be sleeping in on Saturday morning, and he's on kid patrol. ;-)

- Response by myndseye711, A Cool Mom, Female, 29-35, Managerial

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Well now I hope you know you are right. Some men just do not get it I guess. To be a Loveing husband he should be doing the shopping, helping with most of the house work. LOL I know what I would do if I were you I would just find some place to go after the doctor ant tell him you need some time along. Sorry but this man does not some like a very romantic husband. Damm how I wish some men could be the one carrying a child. really would be nice if both had to take turns carrying a child I bet there would be less children in this world if man hasd to do that. I guess the problem here is when you were dating like many of us you did not stop and look at him and say now what try of husband is he going to be. I know I did not do that and I have to be honest if I had I would never had Married my ex. on top of being dumb enough to marry her I was stupid enough to put up with it for 24 years before my eyes opened up. I sure waisted a lot of my life and believe me the old excuse that a person is staying for the kids is a bunch of crap because even that children cannot be happy in a loveless marriage.

- Response by rogerrabbitxoxo, A Creative, Male, 56-65, Transportation

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HE IS ! When you go to the Dr. If you feel like it, go have you toe-nails done. It will relax you and have pretty toes too. ps,turn off your cell phone.

- Response by helencookssometimes, Female, 56-65, Baltimore, Executive

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i dont think that men get that women need alone time as opposed to their boy time...and to top it off youre pregnant!

he is the ass, but prolly doesnt even realize it...he figures he's been working OT trying to "provide" and deserves a now he got his. tomorrow after your dr appt, get yours...go get a pedicure!

if you dont want to tell him, dont, just do NEED your peace and quiet time.

- Response by sherocks, A Creative, Female, 36-45, Dallas, Internet / New Media

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Hon. You won't like this short and to the point response, but:

You (and no one else) are 100% responsible for your own happiness. good luck!

- Response by ocelotspot, A Hip Hop Girl, Female, Who Cares?, Other Profession

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yes, and to get even, get a babysitter to watch your son while you go to bed early. I think with two eye infections and a baby on the way you deserve one!

- Response by ruffian, A Sportif, Female, 36-45

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He is totally being an asshole! Hey better not let him get away w that, the more you let things go, the more they will happen. Let him know how bad it bugs you, and tell him you need some darn help!

Best of wishes....I am sure he is a nice guy, but in this situation I am siding w you! :)

- Response by christinfusion22, A Hippie Chick, Female, 29-35, Who Cares?

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Wow...and I thought I was an asshole.

- Response by whatdat, A Life of the Party, Male, 26-28, Denver

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i know it may not mean much but hang in there. men are not known to be nurturer by nature. still not an excuse on his part he should know better regardless.

- Response by tleeb, A Guy Critical, Male, Who Cares?, Dallas, Other Profession

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Yeah, I'd be pissed. It's *really* selfish of him. Is he more concerned that he can't meet his buddies or they'll think he's the loser married guy than he stay home and give you a little rest? You should remind him you're carrying a BABY inside your body.

- Response by heatherfireman34, A Creative, Female, 36-45, Seattle

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