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How can I trust my husband when he continuously lies to me about things?
Married Life / 8:34 PM - Sunday February 28, 2010

How can I trust my husband when he continuously lies to me about things?

My husband has lied to me about some pretty serious things, yet he gets so angry when I don't believe every little thing he tells me. He says that if I don't trust him, then we can't have a relationship. I say, if he keeps lying to me, I'll never be able to trust him, but that if he helps me to rebuild that trust, then we can go from there. I love him and I know that I am not perfect either, I have never pretended to be, but he refuses to talk about anything, just gets mad and stomps out, which I take as proof that I am right. I don't know what to do anymore.

- Asked by Female, 36-45, Atlanta

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You can't.....get over it and move on............:B)

- Response by beemerdoc, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 56-65, Celebrity

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You can't.

I'd rcommend therapy. It takes two people to make it work and he doesn't seem to care. Try to get him to at least visit a marriage counselor.

- Response by batgirl, A Thinker, Female, 46-55

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There are people who can't help themselves. Maybe it's a lack of self-esteem that makes them lie...and that includes stupid stuff as well as important things. I think it's some kind of mental disorder.

If you could talk to him and he'd listen, I'd see a doctor about it, but chances are he'll say "I don't lie. I don't need a doctor." And he'd just stomp off.

You have your work cut out for you!!!

- Response by pushkins, A Thinker, Female, 66 or older, Miami, Who Cares?

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People who are trustworthy usually trust others. People who aren't trustworthy usually expect others to act the same as they act. When you ask about your husband, you are describing yourself.

- Response by greenwind, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 56-65, Construction

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I couldn't live with a liar. And, I would tell him so. Once trust is broken, it can never be the same.

- Response by roaminginsomniac, An Alternative Girl, Female, 46-55, Law Enforcement

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It may be time to take a look at yourself. If you know your husband is continuously lying to you and there is a complete breakdown in communication, you made need to look at yourself to figure why you are willing to accept this behavior.
I am not saying walk out, but I am saying to work on building your esteem back up to the place of not needing to ask anyone if they see fire, when you're smelling smoke.
Also, it will cause him to wonder what you're doing when you stop stressing the both of you out about what he is or is not doing.

- Response by yycarter, Female, 46-55, Washington, DC, Political / Government

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All relationships are built on trust! It sounds as if you don't trust your husband and rightfully so! I would suggest some marriage counceling before things get even more out of hand. You both need to get to the bottom of the "real" issues at play.

- Response by Female, 36-45, San Antonio, Who Cares?

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its truly not your place to question the man who wears the pants let him be and just cook his dinner

- Response by 21young, A Rebel, Male, 26-28

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