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Married Life / 1:51 AM - Sunday February 28, 2010


MY wife bitches when i have to go to work, when i stay home, when i wana have sex, when i dont wana have sex, when i make dinner, when she makes dinner, when we order in, when we eat out What am i doing wrong is there some pill that can make this stop

- Asked by bobonob, A Rebel, Male, 26-28

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Have you ever entertained the idea that maybe she bitches all the time because she's married to a whiner? You're young and it's common for couples your age to have problems because you haven't learned to communicate and tell each other what you want so instead you whine and bitch and make each other miserable all while blaming the other for all the problems in the marriage. Trust me, I'm old and I know these things! Start discussing how her bitching makes you feel and ask her to take steps to resolve issues without acting like she's your Mother instead of your wife and for your part you need to try to be more understanding of what she goes through as well and the two of you will be just fine.

Good Luck!

- Response by houseworkmakesyaugly, A Married Girl, Female, 36-45

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Maybe it is because you don't listen to all the details of her stories.

- Response by undecidedfuture1, A Creative, Female, 36-45

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lol i had that with the guy i was dating it was awful i mean he would complain about absolutely everything and he just couldnt let it go usually i just changes the conversation

- Response by mindgames, A Thinker, Female, 26-28, Student

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A lot of women want everything to be perfect, but I am wondering how much thought you had given to the concept of marriage, before you took the plunge. My guess is she is trying awfully hard to please you, and get things right to make you happier.

- Response by travelchic, A Creative, Female, 29-35, Who Cares?

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All I can say is if men were self-starters, women wouldn't have to be cranks! :)

- Response by mrscleaver16, A Married Girl, Female, 66 or older

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The only thing that you are doing wrong is taking it upon yourself to feel responsible for a carping harpie. Women do this because their mother taught them by example.
A person who constanly imposes their demands on others has a personality disorder.

Endless whining disqualifies a woman as a suitable contender for marriage.

Is she still Under Warrantee ? Perhaps you could return her if you still have the original packing.

- Response by jacksprat29, A Guy Critical, Male, 56-65

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Perhaps the pill she needs is a Black bull to satisfy her, while you become her cuckold

- Response by jimmy01420, A Career Man, Male, 56-65, Boston, Transportation

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she will get even worse as she gets older count on it

- Response by bigcurt, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 56-65, Pittsburgh, Self-Employed

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Because most women are control freaks, perfectionists, LOVE to complain so that they can get sympathy from others and are SO freaking insecure with such low self esteem that they have to find something wrong with everything and everyone!

Her age is part of it but the other factors are this modern culture. People got married at your ages regularly throughout history and they did not have these kinds of issues anywhere near the frequency of younger people today or people in general.

She has some serious emotional issues...which all women to do some degree but her even more than others. Diet can play a part of it too. It's know that lack of B vitamins can cause serious emotional and mental issues.

Have her try taking St. Johns Wort which is a as powerful and effective as any anti-depressant she can get..something which NO one should ever be on because most people don't know that those chemical drugs get rid of the emotions because they DESTROY the emotional centers of the brain in what's called a CHEMICAL LOBOTOMY!!

Overall women are naggers because THEY look at nagging as a type of caring. For example, if a man reminds a woman to take her vitamins, medicine, or something else, she often takes it as "caring" because you cared enough to tell her. Again, they ROMANTICIZE everything.

But men of course take this when done by women as a INSULT, because they don't just say it once or twice, but every freaking day and often many times a day. Sometimes it's about "caring" or so they think, never comprehending that it's a deep insult and one of the most aggravating things to a man because it's taken by the man as a sign that she thinks you are STUPID, Ignorant, dumb, can't remember anything or know to DO anything without HER telling you what and when to do it!

Women think that men and women are the same and that since they don't mind nagging and are more concerned about someone showing them that they care that men are the same..WRONG!! of course.

Men could care less about her showing that kind of so called caring because to us it's nothing but a HUGE aggravation. We don't walk around every day hoping someone will show us they care every 5 minutes as women do by telling us something we should or shouldn't do. Even if it's for that persons benefit.

Men KNOW this and we'll always say something to a guy on the assumption that he KNOWS it already and carefully say it like "You know that this store closes at 9 right?" or "Be careful, that wire still how power going to it".

But women don't get this at all and worse, they don't even know that there IS anything to get unless it's pointed out in great detail. This is why I'm single!

- Response by richsifu, A Rebel, Male, 46-55, Science / Engineering

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Did she do this BEFORE you married? Did you notice her bitching about her job, her co-workers, her parents, her this a behavior she had PRIOR to your marriage?

If yes, then she is stuck in a behavior that's not likely to change on its own - she'll need professional help (as in counseling/therapy).

If no, at some point, she's felt like she wasn't being heard, and now she's in a pattern of behavior. If the bitching behavior started after marriage, YOU have part ownership in it. You may not be aware of how your behaviors (or which of your behaviors) are effecting her, but they are. In this case, I would think you two need marital counseling. And there's nothing wrong with seeking marital counseling - marriage is difficult at times, and we all need help now and then. This seems like one of those times. You'll be glad you did.

So, do a little thinking on your wife's bitching behaviors. Determine when you noticed them. Determine if she's behaving this way toward YOU or toward everything and everybody and for how long. When you take the time to do this, you'll get a better handle on the path you two need to take to deal effectively with it and hopefully get rid of the behaviors altogether.

- Response by kiki812, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Atlanta, Artist / Musician / Writer

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There is some other issue bothering her unrelated to the day to day things. Try sitting down and listening to her without getting mad. Dont just hear her, listen to her. Its not wrong or right that you want to determine, its how she feels (and there is no wrong or right there) Happy women dont complain.

- Response by hoopsjunkie, A Rebel, Male, 46-55, Indianapolis, Self-Employed

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Well could be just the kind of person she is, or maybe she wants something else out of you, and she does not know how to say it. I would try talking to her, but hormones can make women crazy....let me tell you from first hand experience! Best of luck and I would love an update! :)

"Do not compromise yourself. You're all you've got!"
-Janis Joplin


- Response by christinfusion22, A Hippie Chick, Female, 29-35, Who Cares?

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Is she not pregnant? I mean, early pregnancy symptoms? That can cause hormonal mood swings.

- Response by findingserendipity, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 36-45, Auckland, Medical / Dental

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Why do you do shit to make women BITCH about EVERYYYYTHINGGGG????

- Response by ellekassia26, A Creative, Female, 29-35, Home Maker

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yeah don't marry a bossy bitch. That's what I've learned (from watching friends who made that mistake)

- Response by lmarks, A Life of the Party, Male, 29-35, Los Angeles, Who Cares?

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Myself I am very calm and assertive with very good common sense.

Many or most women seem to have this type of problem. I believe the root of the problem to be chemical/hormonal. They bitch, nag and act generally pissy no matter what you do or what kind of life they have. When in this state the women I have known start making up imaginary problems to complain about and generally act very irrational. I have found it best to walk away and wait until they calm down to try to have a rational conversation.

In my 11 year marriage my x wife tried to hide the emotional problems she had for the first few years. After we moved in together the nagging got worse. He nagging was mostly all based on the imaginary problems. We never really had or argued about any real problems. She kept saying things would get better if I married her. We got married after 6 years, in Maui. No sex for me from then on, well, rarely, no sex on the honeymoon, none at all the last 2 years of the 11 year marriage. Not my fault at all. I never cheated or even talked to other women until 6 months after the divorce and after I was moved out. She accused me often though. Sometimes I was accused of cheating 2-4 times in one day. She had already gottin rid of all my friends. The nagging just continued to get worse and she kept imagining up all kids of problems, one after another. We really did not seem to have problems at all other than what she would create in her imagination. Other than that we were like best friends. I went to counseling with her for 6 months. That did no good at all. It was with a psychiatrist/counselor she had seen even before we met. He just humored her and got us to talk. He did not want to do anything to loose her as a client. One wrong statement from him and she would have not went back. Her problems were imaginary. It's difficult to talk with someone who's problems are not real. To every response from me she would just make up another irrational imaginary reply. With her this problem came and went in phases lasting hours, days, weeks or months. Usually a few weeks or months at a time. In-between episodes she was nice, "normal", polite, friendly, sexy ect... It was almost like living with two different people.

I was in another 10 year relationship before that. We had a great sex life and a very good relationship until the last several months of the relationship. She just turned on me bitching and nagging so severely that I was breaking out in boils from the stress she was putting on me. She told me months later she did the same thing with her x and that it destroyed her first marriage. Her x husband and daughters also told me she did the same thing with her x husband resulting in a divorce. I am on here looking for answers to, as to why women get so upset and act totally irrational at times. I see men that act like that to but more so with women.

I dated and was intimate with many women after the divorce for about 2 years. Most women I women I dated are still on-line friends. I am in a good relationship now. The current girl I have been living with for almost 2 years now gets "pissy acting" at times. With everyone. Her kids included. I don't like it even if I'm not the usual target. Again it seems to be hormonal/chemical. She took Prozac for a while which did help tremendously but she stopped using it when she was pregnant. We lost the baby at 6 months and are trying again. I wonder if adult ADHD and/or bipolar disorder may be involved with my x wife and current girlfriend. I am looking into that also. I am not finding much quality information on this as yet.

- Response by d255, A Guy Critical, Male, 46-55

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My wife bitches about everyone. It's a line up of the same people every time......first her brother for a couple days, then her father, then her sister and mother at once, then it's work related bitching, soon after the kids are getting on her nerves and i know from there I am next. How do I know this? Years of charting. Charting was the best way I discovered what and when. But the why is yet to be determined after ten years. It is cyclic and when I confront her with the issue she acts like a cornered cat and scratches me.......even if iI try to hold her hand, sit down and have a relaxed talk. Now I just go ever the top with her cause I am tired of it. Our fighting has become a contest of wills. Who will be the first to crack and say sorry. If she is in the wrong, she will find some irrational way to blame it all on me. eg. she comes bitching to me about something small. I swiftly stop her in her tracks by doing something irrational (swearing or shouting stupidly). Now the rest or the time she is in a bad mood with me, it is my fault. She will push the buttons to have me go over the top and the switch the blame to me. This is a tactic she has learned. Some times she simply says (if i don't respond badly) that she is allowed to be that way .... thanks womens lib. I thought liberation was supposed to be for breaking the glass ceiling. I wonder if women were like this 100 years ago. Or did men just give them a quick slap to the face and that shut them up. I know it sounds rude but, what does a guy have to do to get the point across. If you look at history, the natives here in America used to segregate women when they had their period. Women were not allowed to communicate with the men, cook food except their own, and so on. This sound like a great way to live. The women come back when they are happy and don't affect the rest of the tribe with negativity.

Just like my writing here, There is no beginning and there will be no end........sorry guys.

- Response by somethinganonymous1, A Player, Male, 36-45, Toronto

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Guys It never, never , never ends. I saw a cartoon one day that depicted an older gentlemen that couldn't take the bitching and complaints and insults any more. he pinned a note to his chest. kicked himself off the chair and hung himself.

There was his wife bitching about the note he left saying " you cant even spell properly"

I rest my case Your Honour

- Response by A Guy Critical, Male, 56-65, Sydney

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Guys It never, never , never ends. I saw a cartoon one day that depicted an older gentlemen that couldn't take the bitching and complaints and insults any more. he pinned a note to his chest. kicked himself off the chair and hung himself.

There was his wife bitching about the note he left saying " you cant even spell properly"

I rest my case Your Honour

- Response by glennmountain59, A Guy Critical, Male, 56-65, Sydney

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WHy first off you married too young. Secondly, the reason why she is complaining because she has unfulfilled expectations. You both got married and you both didn't sit down to talk what you expect and will or not accept. For one thing, she sounds very needy. Also, she doesn't know how to communicate therefore her immaturity shows. Yours as well, so why won't you do this, ask her to sit down with her, when you are not tired from work and sit with your wife why she is so unhappy? She is tell you. I know that you don't want to hear it, but this may help you understand where she is coming from. However, if her expectations are unrealistic, then put your foot down and tell her to accept who you are and you will not change.
BE cause no one does.

- Response by womanv, A Career Woman, Female, 36-45, New York, Self-Employed

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