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My boyfriend called me a 'bitch' and 'psycho'....
Dating / 8:23 AM - Saturday February 20, 2010

My boyfriend called me a 'bitch' and 'psycho'....

My boyfriend called me a 'bitch' and 'psycho'.... So please tell me... is this okay for men/boyfriends to call their partners such words?
Personally I got offended and texted him never to use such words on me again as I just didn't feel good being called such words.

What should I do? Is this a normal behaviour in men? Why must he have done this? I need help...

- Asked by female25y, A Thinker, Female, 29-35

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OK, first, the obvious question: Are you a psycho bitch?

....if the answer is: No, then you need to kick said boyfriend to yonder curb, and move on.

...if the answer is: Yes, then that's something that you're going to have to take a look at, most likely.

- Response by nameacarl, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, Who Cares?, Oostende, Self-Employed

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Community Rating: Community Star

Of course it's not normal!

He's STILL your boyfriend?!

- Response by stillagoodguy1, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 56-65, Political / Government

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P.S. Unless you cooked his pet bunny and served it to him for dinner and slept with his best friend apropos of nothing after eating this sumptuous repast, you did not deserve to be called a b**ch or a psycho.

It's amazing how many losers on this site think that women are automatically guilty or at least possibly guilty for whatever they're accused of merely because they were accused of it. :/

- Response by electragold21, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, New York, Teaching

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Well, in all reality... sometimes people get a litte too angered and say things they don't mean during a heated argument. Make it clear that this is NOT OK, and that no one has ever talked to you like this, and you will not tolerate being called names by anyone. This at least lets him know how much it upsets you and that he has crossed the line with you. If he continues to do it again, he has no respect for you and it's a form of mental abuse (any sort of name calling is). If he doesn't do it again, he has realized your boundaries and does respect your feelings... it's ok to forgive someone once for something, but this can't be forgiven multiple times- so make it clear you will not be in a relationship where there is name calling.

- Response by A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Financial / Banking

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Maybe monogamy isn't for you.

- Response by llafsroh, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, Boston, Science / Engineering

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To answer everyone else's question....

If you WERE a psycho bitch, then being called a psycho bitch wouldn't have offended you. You wouldn't be on here asking if it is OK, you'd be plotting revenge to rid him of his man parts.

No. It's never OK for someone to call you names.

- Response by myndseye711, A Cool Mom, Female, 29-35, Managerial

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those are the equivalent of acts of war. that is justifiable reason to END the relationship with this lunatic. he obviously no longer cherishes you, therefore the relationship is over as far as he's concerned.

- Response by pizzatroll, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 46-55, Science / Engineering

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Well are you a psycho bitch?
I mean if he called you those names for no reason then yeah he is an asshole.
But if you did something crazy and when on some kind of rampage then yeah I would call you one too.

- Response by npink22, A Trendsetter, Female, 26-28

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No thats not acceptable!
Men who say such things to women are rude and have no respect for women.
I never date men wo have no respect for me.

- Response by redblue4u, A Creative, Female, 29-35, Montreal

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You should not think about whether or not its common. Just because its common among people does not make it right. If you didn't like it don't tolerate it.
But still guys use such words among themselves but i have rarely heard them use it in front of or for a girl.

- Response by cuteartist0212, An Alternative Girl, Female, 29-35, Delhi, Artist / Musician / Writer

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NO this is NOT okay! If you're offended by this then you need to take a long look at why your allowing him to treat you this way. A man who respects you wont use those words with teach people how to treat you! If you stay with him youre saying its okay..treat me however you like.

- Response by cracko14, A Rebel, Male, 29-35, Who Cares?

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well... to be honest, i subscribe to the philosophy that "sticks n' stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me". so it's kind of hard for me to relate... sorry... but, usually, no one says these types of things without some kind of provocation... so if you were just minding your business and homeboy out of blue calls you a bitch and a psycho, then, no, it's not normal. but, to be honest, i'm wondering what the other side of the story is... what provoked him into calling you this? i'm not saying you did something to "deserve" this, i'm just trying to get the bigger picture of "why" he would say this. yow-mean. as i believe a couple people pointed out, when arguing, people say mean and hurtful things. it's not that they necessarily "mean it", at the time or ever, it's just when people get pissed, they say and do things that makes it crystal clear to the other party how much that person or people are upsetting them. hence, calling someone a bitch, or psycho, or the "dreaded c word"... etc. if that makes any sense. :-) but anyways, i'm single, so you can dump him and fly to michigan! :-D

- Response by dudemcguy, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 36-45, Detroit, Student

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well were you ?

- Response by bigcurt, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 56-65, Pittsburgh, Self-Employed

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I'm sorry to have to tell you, but if you accept this kind of abuse from someone who is supposed to care for you - then you are encouraging more and you'll only have yourself to blame when he gives you more. If you have any self-respect at all, you must walk away from this kind of guy. It will only get worse . . .

- Response by findmike, A Guy Critical, Male, 66 or older, San Jose

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Here is an amazing concept.. He probably said it because THAT how you were acting!!

Nearly all women do act that way more often than not, especially when it's out of the blue and/or for little to no reason, your going go get the "bitch/psycho" label!

- Response by richsifu, A Rebel, Male, 46-55, Science / Engineering

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Why do think women are psycho or crazy??? Newsflash...if a woman acts crazy, it's cuz men make them that way!!!!!! Seriously!!!

I've never been called psycho or a bitch, but I have been told that I've acted crazy. But guess what, it was cuz he didn't like the fact that I caught him in a lie!!! My gut tells me whens something isn't right, alot of women experience this, so when it does this, I follow my gut. So when the guy told me he was going home to be alone, instead of comiing over by me, and my gut told me he was lying, yeah, I checked into it. And sure enough, no car in the driveway! Hmmmm... Now before you assume the wrong thing, let me say I didn't make it a habit of checking up on him, and we live in the same neighborhood, so in order to get places I have to drive past his house, so don't think I'm a stalker. But... I'm not stupid and I won't pretend to be. So if following my gut, which is ALWAYS right make me act crazy, then so be it! He lied and he knew it, he just didn't like the fact that he got caught! He never did give an explanation of where he was, it was just easier for him to turn it around on me than to admit he was in the wrong. Men do that alot! That way they don't have to look at their own bad behaviour. So, could your guy be doing the same thing?

- Response by A Creative, Female, 36-45, Buffalo, Administrative

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I personally think it's funny how all these psycho bitches responded in here. Just kidding. Self-reflect and you will probably see that he thought you were being irrational. You have to understand that men and women were made to be together physically, that our bodies were made to fit like gloves, but the mind is a totally different story. It's a proven fact that women think in emotion. It is what controls your thoughts and guides you through instincts. Men are anyllitical and use different parts of the brain to process their thoughts. Truth be told, he probably doesn't have the ability to process YOUR emotional actions so he lashes out by trying to play on your emotions. More simply put, he isn't grown up yet and your personality brings out the childish part of HIS emotions, which, of course, he doesn't know how to control. You should both seek couinseling to work it out together. :)

- Response by dangerdad71, A Life of the Party, Male, 46-55, Seattle, Political / Government

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That is NOT normal behavior in anyone. That is disrespectful and just plain mean. There's no valid reason for him to call you names. If he has a problem with something you did, he needs to be mature enough to talk to you about it.

Don't let anyone tell you that it's OK to do that.

- Response by mrscleaver16, A Married Girl, Female, 66 or older

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Verbal abuse in a relationship is never acceptable. He is the one who needs help, not you, and you need to get rid of him and let him seek that help from a trained professional. You are not Jesus - don't try to be his saviour!

- Response by experience101, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Who Cares?

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No, it's is absolutely NOT ALRIGHT for him to call you such words..the term is 'verbal abuse'.Make it clear that if there's a repetition of this incident you'll walk.Cases of domestic abuse often start like this but progress to a full on beating.Be careful.

- Response by listentome27, A Thinker, Female, 22-25, Dallas

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It's alright if you are a psycho bitch. My question is why are you texting your complaints? What ever happened to talking things out face to face?

- Response by hnimsoc, A Creative, Male, 56-65, Celebrity

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Not cool!!! I could never call my girl a bitch, it just cannot roll off my tounge so easily. I'm not sure if other men do that but sure as hell can't.I would say find someone that respects you but you might love him and don't want to lose him.

- Response by guitarplayer2010, A Creative, Male, 36-45, Artist / Musician / Writer

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I've called my ex that before and also useds it with women friends who got offened. I didn't and I think we as men don't mean for ya'll to take it personal but it's only words. My now GF threatens to hang up on me when were in an argument Istart using the F-bomb. Not directing to her but I get so much frustrastion built up from holding back, that's the only way my body feels relief, I know my dad was the one who I blame for teaching me my potty mouth but I would rather have a potty mouth than how some guys use their hands.

- Response by flyinghawaiian56, A Guy Critical, Male, 56-65, Transportation

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- Response by cmgr, A Mr. Married Guy, Male, 46-55, New York, Other Profession

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Does it seem like normal behaviour for someone to call their girlfriend such names? I don't. So why would you ask such a question. Still in all fairness if he's calling you that? Either he has a problem or YOU have a problem. If it isn't you with the problem? I suggest you leave before it becomes worse. For him to call you these now suggest a lack of respect. Still in all fairness as well, we should hear his own side of the story.

- Response by katman9x, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 36-45, Medical / Dental

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I tend to be attracted to beechy, psycho, babes-something in their DNA sets me on fire...

- Response by movi, A Guy Critical, Male, 56-65, Administrative

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Wow. Don't listen to these crazy people! You should never ever let someone call you names like that! It's not okay. Dump him

- Response by jeter998, A Thinker, Female, 26-28

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i have to ask why he would call you theise names.. what was the issue.?we all asy thing in anger men and woman both say thing to hurt out of anger.

- Response by ramirez4000, A Guy Critical, Male, 46-55, New Orleans, Other Profession

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Turn around and forget that stepping stone!You will be OK and more than happy.You will see!!

- Response by sunsitara, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 56-65

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Its "normal behavior" to call a spade a spade. So if you are in fact a psycho bitch, then it would be perfectly normal and acceptable to refer to you that way. If in fact there was a reason to deserve such labels, and there probably was, its just as acceptable to use those words as it is to engage in behaviors that lead someone to utter them.

- Response by An Intellectual Guy, Male, 36-45, Teaching

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Normal? That depends on what you expect, and how you want to be treated. Personally, a guy call me a bitch or anything like it, I would kick his disrespectful ass to the curb. I give respect so I expect to GET respect. I think that's fair. =)

- Response by sunshyne276, A Life of the Party, Female, 29-35, Student

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disarespectful men yes..i wouldnt call it normal just let him know want to be of my guys talks that way i always ask him to use a different word or name and he does just takes awhile.sometimes thats seriously how some people talk to one another doesnt make it acceptable

- Response by unbreakablesilence, A Married Girl, Female, 29-35, Student

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Absolutely not! He sounds like he gets his relationship advice from "rap" and "hip-hop" artists!

- Response by thundermist04167, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 46-55, Who Cares?

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No, it's not okay for someone to call you names that offend/hurt you and it was good that you let him know how it made you feel to be called those names...any person(man or woman) who has respect for themselves/others does not call people names and doesn't try to hurt them did the right thing and if he continues to call you these names, it might be best to let him know that you won't tolerate that type of name-calling and end things because if you let him think it's okay with you, he may start calling you even more hurtful names...:D

- Response by fastball, A Cool Mom, Female, 36-45, Edmonton, Self-Employed

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I don't know what provoked him to say those things, but if a guy starts calling me names, it's game over. Name calling is a red flag in my book, a sign of violence to come later.

- Response by rhonda35, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Who Cares?

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This is astray from the original question, but I am going through a similar issue...except I know that I was being a bitch to begin with. So, after the boyfriend calls her the biggest bitch in the world, what if a girlfriend knew she was being a bitch, and recognized it? Is it now her place to apologize to the boyfriend after he calls her the biggest bitch in the world? what do you do if you were indeed being a bitch, know it and WANT to make things right, but still feel uneasy after the boyfriend labels you a bitch and still finding the label hurtful anyway?

- Response by A Thinker, Female, 26-28

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will what did you do or say to him that made him mad at you

- Response by windyday, A Thinker, Female, 26-28, Who Cares?

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Well...are you a 'b*tch' and/or 'psycho'?

- Response by apathyblaze, An Alternative Girl, Female, Who Cares?

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No, it's not normal behavior.

Kick his sorry ass to the curb and fine someone who will respect you. Don't tolerate this kind of behavior.

- Response by piscesrising, A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?, Boston, Internet / New Media

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I have been called psycho during a fight but never bitch. He has no respect for you to be able to do that, regardless of how pissed off he was. He apologizes or you are done.

- Response by debski, A Career Woman, Female, 36-45, Detroit, Science / Engineering

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No! It's not ok for him to call you a bitch and a psycho. Tell him it's unacceptable and demand an apology. If he doesn't; then you know where you stand.

- Response by lehualani63, An Alternative Girl, Female, 46-55, Executive

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Do you think you are that?

- Response by cristyquartz, A Creative, Female, 22-25, Managerial

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wow, well are you?

- Response by rnkatie, An Alternative Girl, Female, 36-45, Medical / Dental

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