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Active Questions

Would you rather be a married or a single mother?
Family & Parenting / 12:44 PM - Monday February 15, 2010

Would you rather be a married or a single mother?

Do you think that married women with children, have an easier life than single mothers?


- Asked by sailormoon, A Creative, Female, 36-45, Other Profession

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I know a few women who are single mothers and I am definately happy to be a married mom based on the hardships I've seen them face. It's got to be pretty tough doing it all on your own and even if the Father is still in the picture single mom's are the ones left with all the real responsibility as far as the kids are concerned. It amazes me that men complain so much about having to pay child support when in reality it's much easier to pay a little money than it is to put in the work single moms do.

- Response by houseworkmakesyaugly, A Married Girl, Female, 36-45

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It depends... Usually single mothers have it harder.. But even married women can have a pretty tough time too depends who they are married too...

- Response by twilightzone85, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 29-35, Milwaukee, Food Service

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Community Rating: Community Star

I guess it would depend on where they get their support from.

- Response by justchuck998, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 29-35, Atlanta

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I'd rather be married. It has to hard to be a single mom (or dad).. as you have no partner to lean on when you are having a rough day.

- Response by almostsinful, A Married Girl, Female, 36-45

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All things being equal, I think I can safely say that married people (not just women) have a much greater chance of living a "complete" life (as opposed to an "easy" life--who's got one of THOSE??), compared with people who don't create...and tend...families.

I take some issue with the way you chose to word your question. Too many variables and undefined terms: do you mean happily married women or women whose husbands abuse or otherwise dominate them? What is your definition of "an easier life"? By "single", do you mean divorced, never married, or what? Would the woman's age possibly be a factor? Does the children's happiness/ease of life be a consideration? Should it be?

Funny that such a short, seemingly straight-forward question, be so...not (as in, "not straight-forward").

Now, what do YOU think??

- Response by recynd, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Los Angeles, Administrative

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I would prefer single to married to a person that I ended up

feeling stressed with.

I would have like to have a good partnership in the raising of

my daughters , it would have been much nicer for them and I am

sure the outcome would have been different.

I was a single mom. I did not receive support and I had to work

a few jobs at a time. It would have been nice to have someone

to share in decision making . Some one to balance the lives and

experiences of my children. Of course two have much more to

offer than just one. I would have also appreciated having a

family around to appreciate my daughters I think a healthy child

comes from a lot of love more love than just one person can give

it is important to experience many people

fortunately I did have friends that like my children and would

spend time with them so they did get some variation.

- Response by morningdust, A Creative, Female, 56-65, Self-Employed

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It depends on who I was married to. If it was my daughter's father then I'd rather be alone. He is one of the most negative people I have ever met and his attitude makes me crazy. All we do is fight...we aren't that bad anymore but he still irritates me,I just try to keep things civil. If I could be married to guy that was worth a damn and would help me out,of course I'd rather be married.

- Response by misskitty420, A Cool Mom, Female, 29-35, Student

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If I had a great husband who happened also to be a great father, then married of course. But if I had a husband that was irresponsible and not helping out, then I would rather be single. Many times finding a great husband who is also a great dad is hard to find.

- Response by A Creative, Female, 36-45, Dallas, Medical / Dental

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i would want to be married. single mother is a cycle in my family i would like to break. single mothers get more respect from the world and sympathy because they work harder in my OPINION but they have more freedom and dont have to discuss how to raise the child

- Response by unbreakablesilence, A Married Girl, Female, 29-35, Student

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Your question's too vague--it leaves out age, socio-economic rankings and brackets, etc.

A young woman with no education who gets pregnant and pumps it out (and keeps it, because most of us can't just give away a baby we gave birth to) is not likely to give herself or her offspring a good life.

A woman who has a lot of her own money and a sure way of making more (e.g. education and work experience) can pretty much do whatever she wants in this department--if she has a sure job, she can take a maternity leave, hire help after she has it, etc etc. The kid and the woman both stand a chance of having a decent life.

But even if the young woman with no education is married to some guy who's in the same boat that she's in, he's not going to help her that much.

It boils down to who is ready to raise and support a child. People who can't really do it shouldn't do it.

- Response by electragold21, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, New York, Teaching

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