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Should I quit my job and move with my boyfriend to another country?
Career / 12:19 AM - Saturday February 13, 2010

Should I quit my job and move with my boyfriend to another country?

I'm a single mom and have a very good job and my boyfriend has an even better paid job. He's gonna be transferred to another country (still don't know where) and he wants me to go with him but that would mean quitting my job and leaving everything behind... He says he wants to take care of me and my son but I don't know what to do!
We're very much in love and I've never been happier in my life but I still don't know if I should give up my independence and my capacity to provide for my son for him. What's the right thing to do?
I'd really appreciate your advice...

- Asked by Female, 29-35

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I wouldn't do it regardless of my son is the only priority person I have to consider first, you just can't give up your stable life without a commitment.

Love can be fade away when you give up your living will. If he really wants you then he should ask you to be his wife first, at your age range, I'm sure most people would thinking about settled down when they in love with someone. Just tell him that you love him also but without a commitment; married, you don't want to take any risk that could jeopardy your son's life. Even you're married to him, the future is still unpredictable but you still want to see exactly where you going to and work things out later

Best of luck

- Response by azianchemistry, A Player, Female, 46-55, San Francisco, Who Cares?

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Community Rating: Community Star

If he really loves you and wants you to be there with your son, you should. And if you trust him when he says he does that, you should. But make sure of that first.

- Response by ellekassia26, A Creative, Female, 29-35, Home Maker

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I dont have children myself but have seen my cousin go through a situation very similar. If you decide not to go for the sake of your son, would he still go? If he does, his career is more important than a life with you. Where is your son's father if you dont mind me asking? He may not appreciate it too much taking your son out of the country. How do you feel about your child being schooled in another county? Taking him away from everything he loves and has adapted to here to be with and depend on a man that isnt even your husband.

My cousin took her daughter just across the country, never left the United States. She quit her job, went through a huge custody battle with ex, left her family and friends and it lasted no more than 3 years. SHe moved back and had to start all over. She had nothing, no money, no career, no man. She still had her family though....dont leave the people that love you and that your child loves.

- Response by laydeesam, A Trendsetter, Female, 29-35, Medical / Dental

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This is a decision a husband and wife should make. Not a boyfriend and girlfriend.

- Response by workplay, A Career Man, Male, 29-35, Military

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A good job is easier to find that a good relationship. anyway, please wait. Wait until he knows where he ll be going. Wait until he has a set date to leave, and wait until he has a place to live over there and is ready to have you two there.

So many things can happend until he settles down there...

I had a bf who was going to work abroad, and was kind of pushy with my life-situation. He asked me not to do my master degree in that moment, because he was about to leave... AND, not only he had hardly money to eat, he never went, not even in his dreams!

- Response by sailormoon, A Creative, Female, 36-45, Other Profession

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I know you want the best for your son and wonder if this is the best idea for him. Your first responsibility is to your son. This would be taking him away from his father (?) and any family and friends you have where you live now.

Quitting your job and moving so far .. with just a boyfriend might not be a very good gamble to make with a child involved.

Please don't romanticize this and forget about the realities of this decision. If it doesn't work out .. you've given up so much.

- Response by mrscleaver16, A Married Girl, Female, 66 or older

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with the way couples break up today I would never advise you to go to another country with anyone

- Response by bigcurt, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 56-65, Pittsburgh, Self-Employed

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First, your boyfriend has to marry you before you quit your job and move with him to another country.

If you quit your job and moved in another country, he can dump you anytime because he hasn't lost anything. If he really cares about you and he is in love with you, he'll marry you first.

- Response by sleeksasy06, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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