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Why do guys always move on so quickly?
Dating / 4:22 PM - Friday February 12, 2010

Why do guys always move on so quickly?

So it's been about a month since the ex dumped me and I'm not sad about it and I don't miss him. I wish it had worked because I always thought it would. We were off and on for 8 years (as I've mention before if any of you guys remember). The thing that really gets me is that he's trying to date new girls already. I'm supposedly his first love and he claims that he loved me so much but he's able to move on so quickly.

Plus, I know from one of my friends (she dates one of his friends) that he's trying e-harmony and chatting up a few larger girls from there. This sounds shallow but I hate that he'd really be with a fat girl than me. I'm not trying to be bitchy here but it just feels like he'd rather have anyone else than me. I know personality is really important but he obviously can't know them very well yet.

God, I shouldn't be so bothered by it but I am. Also, how could he move on so quickly. i don't even want to date anyone at all after everything that's happened.


- Asked by cherryorlemon, A Thinker, Female, 29-35

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Um, I always wanted to ask that question about women too..... There is no real set in stone answer to why men or women move so quickly. One common thread though is that they never really loved a person to start with so it's easy to move on to the next "sucker". People that really cared don't move on easily. BTW, they all make the same claims he did. They really don't know what love is and it's more of a transference of guilt thing they do to make them selves feel justified and/or better.

- Response by canajun, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 56-65, Vancouver, Self-Employed

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He's the one who dumped you, so he already moved on. When women dump guys, it's the same way. Whoever is GETTING dumped is the one who needs time to come to grips with the situation. The one doing the dumping already thought about it, made their decision, and took their action. It's sort of unfair, but whoever pulls the trigger first has the most peace of mind.

- Response by istillhatescrennames, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 66 or older

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Just the way we are. We move on through getting a relationship with someone else right away. It is almost always a rebound relationship which will end up badly for both of them, but we guys recover this way rather than becoming introverted and focusing on family & friends.

Comfort yourself with the nearly certain knowledge that after 8 years any relationship he starts up in the next year at least will qualify as a rebound.

- Response by seattlerider, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, Seattle, Self-Employed

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Just because he has started to date other girls doesn't mean he has moved on. But yes, he is making an attempt to move on. Dating other is one of the quickest way.
But seems like you have no desire to move on. If you do then stop asking people about what's going on in his life.
As soon as you break up you are free to do what you like. If you really want to be together then work it out or just continue with your life.


- Response by 53maleprison, A Career Man, Male, 29-35, Technical

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