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Active Questions

Can I start having an intimate relationship if I am separated according to the Bible?
Race, Religion & Politics / 3:23 PM - Thursday February 11, 2010

Can I start having an intimate relationship if I am separated according to the Bible?

I have been separated since 2003 and my X is living with a man. I have found a woman I believe I want to spend the rest of my life together. Neither one of us can afford a divorce right now and I just turn 60. My girfriend is basically in the same situation. What should we do beside pray?

- Asked by Male, 56-65

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Finalize your divorce process to get that out of the way.

- Response by losungha, A Career Man, Male, 46-55, Boston, Technical

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Sorry ,my friend,but as long as you are married it's adultery.....And sex outside of marriage is fornication...Both are sin..What you have to do is get a divorce,,,,Ask forgiveness for the divorce,if it is for any other reason than adultery,,,,and then re-marry...God gives no exceptions for sex out side of marriage...

- Response by randolph, A Mr. Married Guy, Male, 66 or older, Artist / Musician / Writer

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That depends on which part of the bible you are referring to.

Some parts, yes... some parts, no. =-)

- Response by cutypy5840, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Medical / Dental

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the reason you can't afford a divorce is because its not a priority to you. make it a priority and then move on with your life. if you believe in what you espouse, then do what the good book says, and quit looking for some libtard to support your heathenistic lifestyle.

- Response by pizzatroll, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 46-55, Science / Engineering

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In most states, an uncontested divorce is quite cheap, and you can get the necessary forms at a local legal service. Check it out.....and best wishes.........:B)

- Response by beemerdoc, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 56-65, Celebrity

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You need to get a divorce. Many states have low cost "arbitrated" divorces that don't need expensive lieyers on both sides. If your ex is already living with someone else she probably won't contest the divorce.

Christian religious texts allow men to have more than 1 wife. The book is full of examples. Go for it.

- Response by greenwind, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 56-65, Construction

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Well you are legal married, so you can't have an intimate relationship with someone other than you wife according to the Bible. Then again if you divorce, you still can't have an intimate relationship until you remarry according to the Bible.
So I'm not sure what difference it makes to adhere to some parts of the fornication rules and not the other part
Are uncontested divorces that expensive?

- Response by falsehammer, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 29-35, Kansas City, Consulting

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Have an intimate relationship. Some of your neighbours might be scandalized, but I'm betting Jesus will be fine with it.

- Response by trawna, A Career Woman, Female, 46-55, Toronto, Consulting

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Separation is one thing, but until you can finalize it and marry your new gf, then you have a Biblical issue.

- Response by thelabboss, A Jock, Male, 36-45, Atlanta, Science / Engineering

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Dude, at our age, we don't need to ask other people's permission.
Besides, we grew up in the 60's, remember? You FORGOT? Then you definitely were there.

- Response by chesterdad, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 66 or older, San Francisco

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Jesus words: "I say to you that who ever divorces his wife, expect on the grounds of adultery and marries another commits adultery"!

SO if your cheated on, you can divorce and remarry otherwise only separate and live alone - like me!

- Response by rafiki910, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, Who Cares?, Boston, Body Work

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According to the Bible I don't think you can do anything.
Take up "Parcheesi, The Game Of India" or "Tiddly-Winks"

- Response by fehkarfight, A Couch Potato, Male, 56-65, Who Cares?

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Speaking of which... Do you Tiddle the Wink, or Wink the Tiddle?

- Response by fehkarfight, A Couch Potato, Male, 56-65, Who Cares?

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Divorce her and then you can start seeing someone

- Response by cristyquartz, A Creative, Female, 22-25, Managerial

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Date while separated? NO.

Date while divorced? Yes.

No half measures, divorce or suffer without.

A divorce is NOT expensive, you can file the status change on your "legal separation" and it's just a paperwork thing. No lawyers and no hassles over division of property since you did all that for your separation.

Square away your past before you try to build a future, or else you will be building that house upon a foundation of sand, not rock.

- Response by tooluser, A Career Man, Male, 36-45

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Having faith and religion never got me anywhere. As long as you are a good person you have nothing to worry about. To me heaven and hell is now. I don't think there is anything wrong with being with the woman, so now is the opportunity. Anyway you're not with your wife anymore. Its now only a piece of paper in the way. Who can afford a divorce these days... no wonder no one gets married anymore.

- Response by A Career Woman, Female, 46-55, Sydney

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Unless you are officially divorced and marry this woman, dont' even think about having a physically intimate relationship. You can be intimate friends without going in a horizontal direction until things in your lives get straightened out. Anything worth having is worth waiting for.

- Response by experience101, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Who Cares?

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By Gods word NO you may not if you do not only will you be an adulterer in the Lords eyes but so will the woman you slept with even if she isn't married...However if your wife has already began a relationship involving sex with the man she now lives with, that IS grounds for divorce by bible standards, however if you sleep with the new lady you will be a fornicator.
Darned if you darned if you dont.

- Response by misssparkle, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Atlanta, Administrative

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According to the Bible AND according to the law, no, you cannot start having an intimate relationship if you're separated. Why? Because you're married.

All your prayer is doing is telling your Creator, "I know this is wrong but I'm going to do it anyway, so please don't punish me for it." That's like a child saying to a parent, "I know this is wrong but I"m going to do it anyway," and expecting not to be punished. Just doesn't make sense, does it? And you (and your girlfriend) really should "get your house in order"...

You say you cannot "afford" a divorce, but maybe you haven't really investigated that as you should. Call the court clerk and ask how you can file divorce papers without using a lawyer, and ask what the filing fee and court costs would be. If you don't use a lawyer, you save big bucks. Since your wife and you have been separated since 2003, it seems like the two of you would be agreeable on splitting assets and debt, so the only cost you'd really have is the filing fee and court costs, which should be less than your monthly electric bill.

I have a friend who has been separated from his wife for over a year (married 26 years). He filed his own divorce papers January 11, got a case number, and was told his divorce should be final by March 3. Easy breezy. No lawyers. No fuss, no muss. Look into it.

- Response by kiki812, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Atlanta, Artist / Musician / Writer

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I am sure with everything going on in the world God will understand as it is normal

- Response by bigcurt, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 56-65, Pittsburgh, Self-Employed

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girldownunder you are so wrong. I hope you get sent to tribunal. How dare you say "f the bible". Karma or for better word, GOD, will give you yours!!! Idiot!

I would pray yes, and I sure there has to be a way to afford it. I guess you should just pray and wait it out. It sucks but that is what I am doing. I am in a long distance relationship with a guy I believed God sent me. He is great but the thing is he lives in Chicago and I in Minnesota. And I don't know when we are giong to be living together or even seee each other again.

But here I am waiting...

- Response by ellekassia26, A Creative, Female, 29-35, Home Maker

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First of all, you need to go from separation with your wife to divorce proceedings so that you aren't committing adultery and/or fornicating with someone else who isn't your wife...second, you do what you need to do to be happy and last, you live your life as you see fit...the bible is only a 'guide' it is not the law...:D

- Response by fastball, A Cool Mom, Female, 36-45, Edmonton, Self-Employed

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Nah, don't do it. Jesus will swoop down and kick your ass.

- Response by A Life of the Party, Male, 46-55, Political / Government

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If you are going to go by the bible then no, because according to the bible a bond make by God cannot be broken by man. If you both are legally separated then yes you can have a intimate relationship.

- Response by MaryAnne, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Regina, Managerial

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Biblically speaking, the only way to marry more than one person in a lifetime is when your first spouse dies. Death is the only thing that can release one from the marriage.

The bible only allows for separation and one is not allowed to marry another as long as the first person is still living...and no that doesn't mean you can have them knocked off either, ha.

God intended that marriage be for life and this is why people are supposed to think LONG and HARD before getting married and not think...well I'll marry him and if I get bored, don't like him or he pisses me off I'll just divorce him and move on. I direct this more to women because women today are responsible for 75% of divorces in the US now. But of course neither person should have this "I'll just divorce them if I'm not happy" mentality.

This is what is promoted in the media, society and educational system too that teaches people to get what they want now at all costs and if you don't like your marriage, just get a quick divorce and move on!!

It will all come back to bite society sooner than most people think.

- Response by richsifu, A Rebel, Male, 46-55, Science / Engineering

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nope.. not unless you are married to the one you are sleeping with.. thats pretty clear

- Response by smartblond, A Sweet Sarah, Female, Who Cares?, Charlotte, Self-Employed

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- Response by helindust30, A Career Woman, Female, 46-55

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